You Found Me
by SmoothButNotRich1901
Summary: Separated in high school through a twist of fate that left them broken. Bella. Senior at Dartmouth. Edward. Famous musician with his brothers. Fate brings them back together 4 yrs later. Are they too late for each other? Sequel 2 FAFHTS. AU/AH. LEMONS.
1. Pain

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT. If I did.....Jake would be dying in a small hole in Eclipse. :D **

**WHY HELLO EVERYONE! **

**It's Jessica!! So first off I would like to thank all of you that helped make this transition hopefully a success!!! I REALLY REALLY REALLY appreciate it!!!! Thanks to all of you that subscribed to author alert or story alert or anything!!!! and thanks to the people that reviewed my other stories! :D :D you know who you are!!! i am also thanking the ever amazing jaimelotr4ever!!!!! you put other betas to shame!!!!!! you not only rock my sox....but also my shoes. :D **

**Okay, so this is the sequel to Forks High Talent show I promised!! I will try to update every week on a specific day....oh let's see...how about Fridays :D Excluding this friday...sorry....but I don't think i could write that fast :D haha. I know this chapter is kinda on the short side...but i really wanted to get it up ASAP!! lemme know if you guys like long or short chapters!!!! i'm always taking requests :D hehe. **

**Well with out further ado......CHAPTER ONE!!!!! (who's excited?!?! it you are excited raise your hand.....now tell me if you raised your hand in a review :D)**

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**Song for this Chapter: Pain by Three Days Grace**

**Pain; without love**

**Pain; can't get enough**

**Pain; I like it rough, 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**

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**FOUR YEARS LATER**

**_EPOV_**

This part of my life is called fame. Or more accurately unhappiness, solitude, and extreme depression. I had learned over the past six years to hate this life, and each endless day seemed to last longer than the one before. Each pointless second seemed to drone on and on as the world moved at high speed around me. And I was dead. Well, mentally and emotionally I was. I was just a shell.

After my brothers and I had won the talent show seven years ago, we had been awarded a demo in a recording studio. A few months later, we were a signed band. The first year had been the experience of a life time. Going places I hadn't even gone in my dreams. But the years since then, I found myself wishing almost constantly that I was back in my small home town of Forks, Washington. I found myself wondering what would've happened in my life if we hadn't won the talent show. And most of all, I found myself desperately wanting to be by her side again. I could bear to think her name again. It only reminded me of what I gave up in order for me to have this life. This horrible wretched life.

I glanced over to the other side of my bed watching the blond haired girl sleep soundlessly as I got out of bed and dressed myself. I wished it was mahogany hair that I saw rather than strawberry blonde before me. I walked lazily to the bathroom and peered into the mirror and barely recognized the man I saw there. His hair was just as wild and unruly as it always was, possibly more after the previous night's activities. His once vivid green eyes were dull and lifeless. His body was much the same, but his skin had lost its healthy glow of the previous years. I hated looking at him. I hated it almost as much as the life I led.

"Edward?" I heard a groggy voice call from the bedroom.

I meandered back to the bed and whispered, my own voice heavy with sleep. "Good morning, Tanya."

She smiled up at me and I smiled half-heartedly back at her. Tanya had been my girlfriend for the past few years, but she didn't seem interested in me. Only what I had to offer. Money. Fame. Popularity. Sex. But I couldn't object to her or deny her. I felt useless anyway. And I wouldn't get rid of her as much as I hated every ounce of her being. It's not like anyone would ever love me again. I sighed inwardly. Again. Someone had loved me. But she had moved on. I would never see her again. And it was useless to dwell on that fact.

"Good morning, Edward." She said as she stood up and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Why did you get dressed?" She asked, running her fingers along the waist band of my pajama pants, my chest still bare. "You know I like you better without these," She attempted to purr sexily as she slipped a finger into my pants.

"Not now Tanya." I said as I pulled away from her touch.

She pouted and huffed. "Edward," she whined. "You aren't fun anymore! You're twenty-two for Christ's sake! You should be horny as hell with a naked girl like me in your room! What the hell is your problem?"

I rolled my eyes at her and turned to walk towards my too-big closet as I ignored her.

"Edward Anthony Cullen! Don't you walk away from me!" She yelled as I continued to walk into my closet, quickly choosing a simple black t-shirt before I turned to exit the room and go to the kitchen.

"Edward! Look at me! You better not walk out that door or…or…WE'RE THROUGH! You take one more step and I'll leave! And you'll have nothing! You'll be miserable without me!" I turned and laughed cynically at her, my expression dark and loathsome.

"You want me to let you in on a little secret, Tanya?" I sneered her name. "I am already so fucking miserable! And every single fucking moment I spend with you just makes me that much more miserable! I fucking HATE you, Tanya! And I don't give a damn if you leave. It'll be just one more thing that could make my life a little brighter. So you know what?" I seethed through a clenched jaw as I dramatically took a step out of the room. "I did what you want. Now leave."

She stared at me incredulously, her jaw gaping open. "UGH!" She shrieked as she shot out of my bed. Consuming hatred and anger overwhelmed me as she threw her clothes on and stormed passed me, shoving me into the door.

"You'll regret ever breaking up with me! You hear me Cullen?! I never want to see you again!!" She yelled. She ran down the stairs and stormed out the front door of my colossal house, slamming the door behind her.

"Good riddance." I muttered to myself as I went down to the stairs turning down the long corridor. When I entered the professional grade kitchen through the door at the end of the hall, I saw Jasper and Emmett stuffing their faces with the food on the counter. When they saw me, they nodded, acknowledging my presence. We all lived in the same house, just different wings. Our house was big enough to allow privacy if we were our own sections of the house. However, each section was like it's own house, containing it's own set of bedrooms, bathrooms and of course its own kitchen, so it surprised me to see them here.

"Don't you two have your own kitchens?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow up. Jasper took time to swallow before speaking.

"We both heard Tanya yelling so—"

Emmett interrupted his mouth still full. "Dude, so did you break up with her or not?"

I nodded, still seething from the morning's angry start. They both stopped immediately and Emmett dropped down to his knees in front of me.

"Dude! You are a god!" Emmett said as he bowed. "You broke up with Tanya Denali! She's like a fucking sex goddess!"

I rolled my eyes and walked away, ignoring his comments. "You have a fiancé, Emmett." Jasper said.

He got up and shrugged. "That still doesn't change the fact that she's smokin'. Rose doesn't care. In the end, she knows that she's the one that I'm with."

I went back to concocting my breakfast. "So what made you break up with her?" Jasper asked.

I laughed without humor. "The question that should be asked is 'Why did I stay with her?'."

"So, you two are really over?" Emmett pressed, beginning to shovel food into his mouth.

I simply nodded. "The press is going to have a field day with this." I muttered to myself.

Jasper nodded thoughtfully. "Are you seriously okay with this? This isn't just an argument is it?"

I shook my head without hesitation. "No, it isn't. I hate her, Jasper. This is the first thing I've been sure about in a long time."

He shook his head. "Well, more power to you, man. You've got a hell of a ride ahead of you."

"Don't I know it." I replied. "But she was draining me of my freedom, my life, my soul," I started again.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Emmett said in between bites. "Cool it, Shakespeare."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm being serious."

"Okay, whatever. You're being serious. But remember. We have a tour we're starting tomorrow, Edward. You just need to get a grip on yourself. Forget about Tanya and get back to doing what you love!" He said. I contained a scoff as he uttered the words. Love. Ha. Did he truly think that I loved this life? Were they both so naïve? I hated it. I hated the fame and the money and the world tours. I wanted more than anything to rewind time and never place myself in this situation. Had I know that I would be so lonely and miserable, I know I would've never given it a second thought. I loved my music, but I hated my life. I chuckled inwardly at the irony. Music was my life. Music was the only thing that couldn't turn its back on me.

Jasper patted his hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, man. You'll be able to just chill out for a few months while we tour the country. And then we can go home at Christmas. See Mom and Dad. Just relax for a little while. Okay?"

I smiled and nodded at him even though on the inside, I was screaming for freedom. Screaming to do what I wanted, be who I wanted to be, be with who I wanted. But there was always something deep inside that overshadowed everything that I wanted and told me the reality of what was really going to happen.

I would always be miserable. I would never be happy. I would never had what I wanted. Because I was living in a part of my life called fame. Fame, unhappiness, extreme depression, solitude. That summed up my life pretty well, I'd say.

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**_BPOV_**

The part of my life is called Dartmouth. Or more accurately hectic, maddening, and hell on Earth. The first day of my of Senior year was upon me and never had I been so happy to be closer to graduation. Don't get me wrong, I loved Dartmouth and everything around me, but I if I had learned one thing in my four years here, it was that first semester of Senior year was the most vigorous of any semester anywhere. I groaned inwardly. I was really not looking forward to it. The one bright spot in my schedule was English eighty-five; my creative writing class. I was absolutely thrilled about that class. I was an English Major and a Journalism Minor and I couldn't wait to begin my new life wherever it may take me. I just wanted to get out of school and leave my shit-hole of a life behind me and start anew. Nothing had been quite the same since he left, even with my boyfriend of two years, Jacob Black, always encouraging me and always by my side. I loved Jacob; truly I did. But was I in love with him? I had no idea. I felt horrible for being so uncertain, but I guess I always had that hope in the back of my mind that we would meet again. I sighed. Like that would happen. He was starting another world tour tomorrow. Just another few months of reading about him in the papers and fantasizing about him one day coming back for me.

I shouldn't be thinking this way, I know. With a boyfriend that is madly in love with me and a bright future ahead, I should be completely and blissfully happy. But I'm not. I'm the farthest thing from happy. I'm miserable. Completely and blissfully miserable. But it's not like I could do anything about it. I would continue to get up with the alarm clock everyday, continue living my life as a shell of a person, looking at what it could be through rose colored glasses. Always wishing, wondering, hoping that one day it could change. But always knowing that it wouldn't.

"Hey, Bells!" Jacob shouted from behind me. I spun around to see a wide grin on his face as he ran toward me. I couldn't help but smile at him, he always made me feel better when I was down with just his smile.

"Hey, Jake." I said when he reached me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. I sighed happily at the warmth. "Mmmm…I love you, Edward." I whispered to myself as I closed my eyes.

Almost as fast as I closed them I reopened them at the realization of what I had just said. I had just called Jacob….Edward. I had just said 'I love you, Edward.' Shit! Did he hear me?!

"What did you say, Bells?" he murmured, a smile in his voice. I sighed with relief. He didn't hear me.

"I said, um, 'you're warm, Jake.'" I quickly said, internally smacking myself in the forehead.

He chuckled heartily. "Um, thanks?"

I laughed softly with him, but on the inside I was screaming. Edward. I still loved him. I still wanted him. I still had feelings for him. I had tried for so long to repress my feelings, but saying that I loved him just seconds before had brought me back to reality. I still loved him. I was still insanely and passionately in love with him.

God, I sounded like a teenager with a crush on a rock star. I would've laughed had it not been so horrifying. I couldn't hide it any longer. I couldn't deny loving him any more. And it was a constant pang of pain every time I realized that he couldn't return my feelings. My world was crumbling around me. This part of my life was called pain. Or more accurately unrelenting, maddening, and hell on Earth.

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**TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!! hopefully that wasn't TOO terrible awful.....i'm really excited as to where this is going to go and really really hope that you guys are too!!!!!!! thanks a million!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!**

**Your Friendly Neighborhood Twilighter,**

**Jessica :D**


	2. Insomnia

**HELLO EVERYONE!**

**Okay so this is chapter two!!!! obviously...i warn you that it is pretty depressing and kind of intense....part of edward's darker side is revealed....no BPOV this chapter...i really wanted to focus on the deliciousness that is edward cullen :D **

**just to clarify.....i made some errors that i forgot to correct in the last chapter involving ages and years....okay...this takes place 4 years after the talent show...._NOT_ seven as i accidentally put it in the last chapter. bella is 21 and edward is 22 hope that helps. i have to admit...i was really really sad that i didn't get any reviews for the last chapter...not gonna lie... :'( :'( so i'm really really hoping that i get some reviews for this one i would TOTALLY appreciate it! thanks SO much!!!!!! i love you guys!!! **

**Shout out to my phenomenal Beta: jaimelotr4ever and to HaydenMCullen for responding to my PM (seriously, you have no idea how excited i was that you responded :D :D :D :D i flipped a shit...not lying :D) **

**I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!!!! **

**I suppose you want to read chapter two huh? lol. enjoy! or actually....don't enjoy...if you guys cried that would be FABULOUS :D :D :D that sounds so odd....but you'll see why in a minute :D btw...the songs at the beginning of the chapter are to kinda preview what's gonna happen so READ THE LYRICS!!! haha**

**On with the story.... :D**

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**Song for this Chapter: Me, You, and My Medication by Boys Like Girls**

**We're all lookin' for something**

**To take away the pain**

**Me and you and My medication**

**Love is just a chemical creation**

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**EPOV**

Midnight. I wandered aimlessly around my house, my mind still reeling; my eyes horribly blood shot, my heart throbbing in the silence. Insomnia was one of the many problems I had picked up in my years of stardom. We would be leaving for our tour in a few hours and I would still be wide awake. Time had ceased to mean much to me. It was more like my body and mind were on auto-pilot. Breathing in and out, playing music that ceased to have meaning. We only played what the record label wanted us to play. All of my songs usually got rejected. On the rare occasion the record label did like my songs, they just remixed them until it really wasn't mine any more.

After what seemed like hours, I found myself in the library, looking upon the leather bound spines of the books on the high shelves surrounding me. I thoughtlessly retrieved on from the shelf and flipped through the dusty pages. Wuthering Heights. I immediately placed it back on the shelf. That had been her favorite book.

I kept telling myself that it was just an odd coincidence that I had been seeing her everywhere. That it was just my mind playing tricks on me when I thought I felt something behind me, or someone whispering in my ear. But a small, sweet voice in the back of my mind continued to remind me that your mind only sees what it wants to see, and it was obvious that I wanted to see Bella. More than that. I wanted to see her, touch her, wrap my arms around her. Never leave her side. Make her mine forever. I wanted to tell her I still loved her so desperately. I wanted to stroke her beautiful hair, kiss her incredibly soft lips. And every moment I spent thinking like this, I knew my mind was being destroyed. All of my fantasies of seeing her again, so real I could almost reach out and touch her but then she always vanished so swiftly before my very eyes. Her brilliant smile was always the last to disappear. That Cheshire cat grin that was almost painfully mocking.

Why was I being subjected to this near constant torture? What had I done to deserve this? God, if I had a time machine. If I could just go back and warn my seventeen year old self that this would happen.

"God damn it!" I huffed in frustration, pounding my head against one of the shelves as I slid down to the floor. I pounded my head again against the shelving again, causing a book to fall on top of my head.

"Fuck," I muttered, rubbing the top of my head, examining the book that had hit me. I tore it open in frustration and soon found it to be an old photo album of my senior year in Forks. I gasped in shock that I had retained the old photos of my old self. I had thought that every ounce of who I used to be had been flushed from my system with each swift thrash of the blade on my wrist. Permanent reminders of my tortured life. I remembered the first time I decided to cut myself. I remembered quite vividly the urge to see the pain I was feeling inwardly, and even more vividly I remembered the bright red blood flowing down my wrist as the seething pain pierced my body. But I couldn't stop. I was addicted to physical pain because I couldn't express my emotional pain in any other way.

The urge to see blood flowing freely was increasing as the discovery of the photos had made me remember the past which I tried so desperately to erase. I didn't deserve happy memories. I needed to erase them. I needed to erase the pain. I quickly tore one of the metal edges of the picture and pressed the cold metal deep into the skin of my wrist. I closed my eyes in pain as I could feel the blood running down into my palm, dripping onto the pictures of my old life.

I opened my eyes after I threw the now bent piece of metal onto the carpeted floor below me to see to the page I had opened to. I felt my stomach becoming nauseous. I felt my face turn pale. I felt nothing but disgust as I stared at my bloody wrist and onto the page below.

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***FLASHBACK TO EDWARD'S LAST DAY WITH BELLA***

"_C'mon, Edward!" Alice exclaimed. "You're not going to go on the road without one picture of you and Bella to take with you!"_

"_Please, Edward?" A beautiful voice pleaded softly. "I want to have you near by while you're away…"_

_How could I resist my beautiful Bella anything? I smiled happily at her and nodded my head in approval and her eyes danced with joy. "Thank you, Edward." She replied gently._

_I smiled lovingly at her. "Anything for you, love. I love you." _

_She stood on her toes to kiss me softly the whispered. "I love you too, Edward." I subconsciously wrapped my arms around her waist as she wrapped hers around my neck and I pressed my forehead to hers and kissed her again softly, this time I was vaguely aware of a flash through my closed lids. I looked up and saw Alice grinning widely with excitement._

"_Alice," I began. "Did you just—"_

"_Yup, I did just take a picture of that absolutely adorable moment! You'll always remember it!" She exclaimed happily._

_I smiled at my sister then down at my love. She was smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes._

"_Love?" I asked, my brow furrowing slightly in concern. "What's wrong?"_

_She sighed softly and the smile vanished quickly from her face. "Come with me and I'll explain."_

_I nodded my head slightly. "Alice, we'll be right back. Bella wants to show me something."_

_I didn't catch her reply because we had already made our way across the yard by that time. We walked toward an ancient tree, sheathed with thick moss and proceeded to sit down in the damp grass, leaning against the trunk as I wrapped my arms around her. _

"_Now, what has you worried?" I asked softly as I stroked her hair._

_She took a deep breath before her melodious voice, thick with melancholy began. "Edward, what if this is it for us? What if this is the end? What if I never see you again? What will I do without you? I can't live in a world where you don't exist. I'm so scared, Edward. I have a horrible feeling about this. Music is your life and I know that this is an amazing opportunity for you and your brothers. I don't know maybe I'm just being selfish for wanting you to stay with me—" _

_I cut her off immediately with a fierce kiss then whispered, "Isabella Marie Swan, don't you ever think that you are selfish. You are the most selfless human being on the face of this planet. No one is better than you. No one even comes close. Second of all, I promise this is not the last time I will see you. I promise you that this is not the end. I will always love you, no matter what happens. Never forget that. And Bella? Music isn't my life. You are my life. You have always been my life and you will always be my life. I love you so much more than you can possibly comprehend. Know that Bella. Know that, and we can weather any storm." _

_She smiled up at me lovingly, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. I immediately brushed them away softly with my lips before finally placing a kiss on her lips._

"_Don't cry, my love." I whispered when we broke away. "I love you. And I will always be here to kiss the pain away. Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll always be here, even when I'm not physically by your side, I'm here." I placed a hand over her heart as I kissed her forehead one last time. _

***End Flashback***

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I saw that picture and the memories flooded back to me. I was suddenly revolted by the blood at my wrist. Sickened by the crumpled metal corner. Disgusted with myself for what I had done. Blood had dripped onto the picture and the pictures surrounding it. Bella didn't deserve to be tainted with my filthy past. She was pure and innocent and wonderful and good. She deserved someone that could keep the promises that he made. I quickly wiped the blood from the picture and stared blankly at it for what seemed like days.

And when I couldn't bear to look at the happiness of my past, I buried my face in my hands and wept in the darkness.

"Edward? Edward?" I heard someone shaking my softly while they called my name, beckoning me to come from the dark. I slowly fluttered my eyes open to see Jasper and Emmett looking down at me with a worried expression.

"Jasper? Emmett?" I asked groggily.

"Yeah, man. It's us." They sighed slightly with relief. "Edward, what happened to you? Shit, Edward! Is that blood on your hand? Why the hell is your hand covered in dried blood?" Emmett asked worriedly.

I looked around and found myself still in the library, laying down on the floor instead of sitting up. The photo album had thankfully been put away. I couldn't bear to look at it anymore.

"Dude, talk to us. We're your brothers. We're worried about you."

"I couldn't sleep." I shrugged nonchalantly as I sat up.

"Stop shitting us Edward. We may not be doctors but we're smart enough to know for a fact that insomnia doesn't cause wrists to bleed."

I rolled my eyes. "You're overreacting guys. It's not a big deal." I lied convincingly. I had become an expert through years of lying to myself and everyone around me.

They both looked at me dubiously. "If it's not a big deal, why were you bleeding in the first place?"

I shrugged their question off. "Just cut myself on a metal photo holder when I was looking through one of my old albums." There. I wasn't lying. I just wasn't telling the whole truth. They looked at me skeptically.

"Fine." Jasper said. "Whatever. You don't have to tell us what really happened. Just be ready in an hour. We're leaving then. The tour bus is pretty much already loaded. Just get yourself ready." And with that Jasper exited the room, but Emmett looked on with a worried expression as I stood up.

He clapped his hand on my shoulder. "Man, what's happened to you? Everybody's noticing the changes in you. The last time any of remember you really being happy is when you were with—" I cut him off abruptly.

"Shut the fuck up, Emmett. I don't want to talk about it." I seethed through my teeth.

He cringed back at my harsh tone, retracting his hand back before he looked at me, shaking his head before he too left the room, leaving me by myself once again. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration as I pulled the album back out again and flipped through the pages to find the picture of Bella and I. I looked at my arms wrapped around her soft body and my lips pressed gently to hers. I trailed my eyes down her perfect body and chuckled softly when I saw her standing on her toes to wrap her arms around my neck. I placed the album back on the shelf and took the picture with me back to my room to pack.

No matter how much pain this may cause me, I was going to keep it with me. I went back into my room, hoping to stay undetected by the one person I knew I couldn't lie to.

"Edward Anthony Cullen." A menacing voice called from behind me. Shit. Now I was in trouble.

I turned around slowly. "Yes, Alice?" I met her basilisk glare as she stood with arms crossed, lips pursed and her foot tapping on the hard wood floors.

"Edward. Jasper told me that you got hurt." She said sharply, grabbing my uninjured wrist and dragging me toward her bathroom.

"Alice, really. I'm fine. I just cut myself on accident. That's all." I swallowed hard.

She stared up into my eyes, a mixture of fear and anger swirling around. "Edward, we both know that is a load of bull shit. You told me you stopped cutting yourself. Edward this is serious. Your life is in danger! As well as your sanity!"

_If only she knew._ I thought to myself. She pulled me over to the sink and began cleaning my cut with Peroxide. I hissed as it burned the open wound. "I did, Alice. I just had a…momentary relapse. I swear it won't happen again."

She finished cleaning the wound before wrapping a bandage around my wrist then looked into my eyes again. "Edward, you're my best friend and I love you. You have to stop this. What happened to you? It's like every drop of life has been sucked out of you. I can hardly bear to watch you day in and day out. If only you could see yourself. It's hurting all of us." She touched her hand to my cheek. "Promise me you'll never do this to yourself again."

I hesitated for a moment, knowing that I couldn't break a promise I made to my best friend.

"Edward," she said in warning.

I sighed. "I promise."

She looked up at me sympathetically and tugged on the bottom of my shirt. "You need to shower. You guys are leaving soon."

I nodded once as she let go of my shirt, her hand brushing against the top edge of the picture in my pocket. She looked at me curiously before pulling the picture out of my pocket.

I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly as she gaped at the picture I had.

"Oh my God." She gasped.

"I know." I replied simply.

She stared up at me. "Where did you find this?"

I shrugged, feigning indifference. "I found an old photo album from Senior year in the library."

She shook her head in shock. "I can't believe how happy you looked. I haven't seen you look like that in so long."

"Yes, I know, Alice." I growled at her. "We all know how much of a depressed insomniac I am. Okay?" I sat down on the edge of the Jacuzzi tub and buried my face in my hands.

I felt her hand on my shoulder. "Edward, look at me. You know you can trust me with anything."

I slowly looked up, studying her pained expression. "Everything is going to work out, okay? I promise you that. I have a feeling that all of this pain that you feel right now is going to go away. It's going to disappear and you are going to feel ten times better than what you felt like in high school."

I shook my head incredulously. "Things are never going to change, Alice. I'm just going to have to deal with my life, breathing in and out and living on auto-pilot."

"No, Edward. I don't want you to do that. I want my best friend back." She whispered before kissing my forehead in a sisterly gesture before walking toward the door and looking back at me before she let me be.

I sighed heavily and got up, stripping down before climbing in the shower, unwrapping the bandage from my wrist. The scalding water ran down my body as I sighed at the feeling of the heat. The pain seemed to melt away with the water as I stood under the shower head. As soon as the hot water started to run out, I opened my eyes reluctantly and stepped out of the steaming shower. My thoughts immediately returned to Bella and the picture. I still could hardly believe that I had found it after four years. Or even the fact that I had kept that album for so long.

I wrapped a towel loosely around my waist and grabbed the bandage and the picture off the bathroom counter and headed to my room.

I walked into my room and froze when I looked at the bed.

My jaw dropped and my heart stopped beating when I processed who was sitting on my bed, smiling quite seductively.

"Edward," She crooned.

I stood frozen in my place. She cocked her head to the side. "Edward? Didn't you miss me at all?" She asked as she looked down.

I immediately strode and closed the space between us and whispered, "Of course I miss you, love. God, that doesn't even begin to explain it. I was a complete mess without you…hell, I was more than a mess, Bella. I was completely and utterly fucked up." I took her face in my hands and looked into her chocolate eyes and leaned my lips down to meet hers like I had been dying to for four years.

"Oh, Edward," She whispered as her lids fluttered shut. I was so close to getting what I had wanted for so long. I couldn't even begin to comprehend that she was here when…

"Edward! God, are you ready yet?!" Emmett's voice boomed and I opened my eyes to see she had vanished. I groaned in misery. She wasn't here. I was just having another ridiculous hallucination. God, what was happening to me? "Damn. You take longer than a girl to get ready."

If I hadn't been so frustrated, I would've rolled my eyes at his statement. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to make sure I was back in reality. I opened them and looked around slowly. I sighed. Everything was just the same. No Bella. Just my same old fucked up room in my same old fucked up life.

I quickly wrapped a bandage around my wrist and slipped on a white button up shirt and rolled up the sleeves, leaving the top few buttons undone. I donned a pair of dark jeans and my canvas shoes before throwing some clothes into a duffle bag. Some of my stuff had already been packed.

I silently praised Alice. The last addition to my bag was Bella's picture. I carefully placed it on top so that it would be ruined in travel. I always wanted to have it. Forever. Just like I wanted to have Bella forever. As if she could ever forgive me for leaving her. I laughed bitterly.

I zipped up the duffel bag and slung it over my shoulder and headed down the stairs.

"Finally!" Emmett huffed. "Let's go, dude. The bus is here."

I nodded once and followed close behind them to our tour bus. It was…ostentatious to say the least. A huge black and gray Coach bus covered with "The Cullen Brothers" logo all over the sides and back. And my brothers had wondered if the fans would notice us when we rode down the highways across the country. I had scoffed at that comment. I climbed aboard and set my bag down on my leather couch that I slept on and plopped down, securing my ear buds in along with my iPod. But just before I turned on the music I heard Jasper say something.

"Wow, Emmett." He murmured in hushed tones. "Listening to his iPod already? God, he must be feeling pretty bad…"

_If only they knew._ I thought to myself. _If only they knew…_

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**okay...show of hands....who feels really bad for edward?? *tell me in a review if you raised your hand :D* i was like crying as i re-read it...lol...i love edward SO much and that was kinda tough to write....sorry if this is really depressing so far....but don't you worry your pretty little heads about that :D HAPPINESS IS COMING. i promise...i'm just building up the characters...i like slow stories...i don't really like the ones where they meet and then like a chapter later they already love eachother...haha. okay REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

**they make me write faster :D **

**Until next Friday,**

**Your Friendly Neighborhood Twilighter,**

**Jessica \m/ :P \m/**


	3. Blurry Silence

**OKEY DOKEY ARTICHOKEYS!!! **

**So officially...I was ECSTATIC as to the positive response from my authors note on my other account of people wanting to know my new account name! All of you are AMAZING. HOWEVER, since I really dont want to get reported again (yes, someone reported me for abuse) for posting strictly an author's note. so that wont be happening again. **

**okay with that off my chest i want to totally and completely thank five lovely ladies for reviewing :D :D well, I'm assuming you're ladies...correct me if I'm wrong! haha....THE EVER CONSTANT ritarocks!! you really do rock girl!!! thanks for all the help with the transition!! my new best friend on fanfiction..... brokenglassheart!!!! THANK YOU SOOOOOO much for reviewing and responding to all of my messages :D you rock my socks and shoes off. :D to the AWESOME...sillywriter101!! so pretty much i'm giving you an edward cupcake and it'll be just wonderful :D (mmmmm....edward cupcakes) haha. to Bella Sera Love!!!! i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY happy i made you cry...well...okay, that came out wrong....I'M SOOOOO happy that my story affected you in that way!! it tells me that i'm doing my job right!!!! and finally.....Delia Blythe...KUDOS TO YOU!!! YOU RAISED YOUR HAND!!!! the only one!!! haha....seriously though...i'm REALLY happy that you like it!!!! i hope i don't disappoint this chapter :D**

**this chapter is BPOV....so we have a break from edward... (i know i'm sad too....) but since you guys really dont know what Bella is feeling...this pretty much explains it...at some points...bella may seem kinda indifferent....but its only because she's numb on the inside...kind of emotionless...edward is too...but he would rather feel pain than nothing...(see get the three days grace song? :D i knew you would) which is why he cuts himself....man that part was hard to write...i DO have another flashback in this chapter which you will soon find out...i still kinda drool when i read it....yummmm.....you'll see what i mean...tell me in a REVIEW that you understand the sexiness that is the flashback!!! haha **

**Also....i posted a picture of me on my avatar.....i'm curious as to what you guys think of what i look like. you don't have to review about that of course it would just be cool to see what ya'll think :)**

**WELL I SUPPOSE YOU WANT TO READ. By all means, read readers....read. :)**

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Song for this Chapter: Blurry by Puddle of Mudd

**Everything's so blurry  
and everyone's so fake  
and everybody's empty  
and everything is so messed up  
pre-occupied without you  
I cannot live at all  
My whole world surrounds you  
I stumble then I crawl  
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**BPOV**

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I groaned as I buried my face in my pillow trying to smother the utterly obnoxious beeping that was filling my bedroom. I had stupidly purchased one of those alarm clocks that got only got louder the longer you ignored them. The noise was starting to seep through my pillow and I buried my self further into the blankets. It was almost as if the alarm clock was mocking me. Each blaring beep seemed to be saying, "_Your life sucks. He doesn't love you. He's forgotten you. He doesn't love you. HE'S MOVED ON. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU." _I silently sobbed remembering what day it was. It was my two year anniversary. It was also the fourth year anniversary of the day he left.

_The day he left you._ A darker side of my mind amended. Could I be anymore fucked up?

The alarm clock was blaring at full blast now and I reached from under my cocoon of blankets and threw the damn thing to the floor, effectively breaking it and stopping the beeping. I retracted my arm back under the blanket and laid in silence. But the silence was almost as bad as the alarm clock mocking me. It was an eerie silence instead of a comfortable one like it should've been. And I hated it with a burning passion. I buried my head further into the pillow trying to suffocate myself, but before I could do that, my treacherous stomach growled in the silence and I mentally cursed it for being so undisciplined. I raised my head and propped it on my hands, breathing in the cool air of my room. The smell of a hot breakfast wafted through my cracked bedroom door and beckoned me to follow it. My stomach growled again in response and I reluctantly slid out of bed, wearing only a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top. I yawned sleepily, stretching my muscles, tense from sleep and ran a hand through my tangled mahogany locks. I made my way down the hallway of my apartment and rounded the corner into my kitchen. I rubbed my eyes with my closed fists and reopened them to see Jake cooking in my kitchen; completely shirtless. I couldn't help but ogle the tan skin of his back and his muscles rippling as he cooked. He seemed to feel my stare on him because he turned around and smiled his Jake smile before enclosing me in a tight hug.

"Happy Anniversary, Bells!" he exclaimed as he held me tighter.

"Jake…" I squeaked with the air I had left in my lungs. "Hug…too tight…can't breathe…"

He immediately released me and boomed with laughter. "Sorry, Bells. Just got a little carried away I guess."

I rolled my eyes. "A little? You're lucky that you aren't rushing me to the ER right now because of a punctured lung." My annoyance only seemed to make him even more amused, because he shook with laughter once again before he turned back to whatever he was cooking.

"Jake," I pressed carefully. "What 'cha makin'?"

"Breakfast." He told me matter-of-factly.

I rolled my eyes again. "Yes, I gathered that much all by myself."

He chuckled throatily but didn't answer. "What are you making for breakfast?" I asked after a moment.

He responded by whirling around with a plate full of bacon, eggs, pancakes and a glass of orange juice on the tray. "This." He nodded to the food on the plate.

I smiled tentatively at him. Jake didn't have the best track record with cooking. I quickly reminisced about the past few occasions where he had made me dinner. I had dutifully swallowed every bite like the good girlfriend I was and praised him on how delicious it was even though on more than one occasion, his food tasted, well, to put it nicely, like a ten thousand year old, dirty tube sock that had been sitting in the bottom of Satan's gym bag.

I smiled at him reminding myself it was the thought that counted before I took a bite of the pancakes. I had to physically restrain myself from gagging at the disgusting food I had just inhaled. It was gritty and wasn't cooked thoroughly. I looked up at him who was waiting on pins and needles about my reaction. I smiled at him again and gave him a thumbs up as I continued to chew the disgusting food. I swallowed and chugged some of the orange juice.

"Wow, Jake. These are awesome." I fibbed, but if it made him feel better than it was worth it. He beamed and I knew my mission was accomplished. I drowned my remaining pancakes with syrup and took another dutiful bite.

"Try the bacon. I made it just the way you like it." He smiled excitedly, obviously quite pleased with himself. I hesitantly took a bite of the bacon. Well, more like attempted to take a bite of my bacon. I tugged on the end roughly, and once I finally tore a piece off, it took me a good thirty seconds to chew and swallow the horribly tough strip of bacon.

"Good, huh?" Jake asked. "I know you like it _hard_." He waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively, waving the double entendre in front of my face. I simply rolled my eyes at him, which only made him grin wider. My physical relationship with Jacob had had never rounded second base, much to his dismay. It was almost extremely awkward doing anything physical with him. Jake and I had been best friends for a very long time, and it almost felt as if I was kissing my big, protective older brother. Of course, I had never mentioned anything like that to Jake. It would be a severe blow to his confidence.

Don't get me wrong; Jake was extremely good-looking. What with his woodsy smelling, tan skin and thick dark hair; his deep brown eyes and his easy grin. But some part of me kept repeatedly seeing that pale, smooth skin and messy, bronze mane that begged to have fingers run through it; those piercing green eyes that made me weak in the knees and that dazzling crooked smile that lit up his god-like face.

Our physical relationship had never gone far. I'd only seen him without his shirt on once, and it was completely by accident. But, God knows I had repeatedly replayed that incident on more than a few occasions…

***FLASHBACK***

_I drifted out of consciousness, a smile on my face as I recalled the dream I had just been having, starring Edward of course, when I realized that I wasn't in my bed. This bed was much softer, warmer, bigger. I turned on my side, still not opening my eyes and I felt something extremely hard, yet so soft under my finger tips. I almost immediately knew what it was, and inhaled deeply to confirm my suspicions. The sweet smell of him flooded my nose and I sighed with contentment as I snuggled back into his arms. I suddenly recalled that the night before had been the talent show and that I'd slept over at the Cullen's after the party. Alice had told Charlie that I would be sleeping over with her, and of course he ate out of the palm of her hand. I remembered sneaking into his room and crawling into his bed and the way his arms had felt around me._

_ I pressed my ear onto his chest and listened intently to his steady heartbeat and soft breathing. It was the sweetest sound in the world and I knew right then and there that I would never want to wake up any other way for the rest of my life. I lifted my head and slowly opened my eyes._

_My heart grew instantaneously with my undying love for him at the mere sight of his sleeping form. His beautiful face was so peaceful as he continued his steady breaths. His bronze hair had fallen over his smooth-as-marble forehead and covered his now closed emerald eyes. I smoothed the hair out of his face and admired the silky texture as I softly played with his hair for a moment. He shifted slightly and I reluctantly retracted my hand, afraid that I had awoken him. But he simply sighed heavily with happiness in his sleep and a sleepy smile graced his features. The picture of tranquility. I began lightly tracing the lines of his perfect face with my fingertip. I travelled over his temples and underneath his eyes where his dark eyelashes floated across the top of his high cheekbones. I stroked his cheek with my thumb for a moment before moving to his adorable nose. I trailed my fingertips down to his masculine jaw line then finally to his soft, smooth, delicious, lips. I traced the outside of them slowly and lightly and they parted slightly under my hand, blowing a soft, sweet breath across my face. I lightly pressed my lips to his before continuing to explore his sleeping form._

_My hand trailed down his neck and stopped on his bare shoulder. I had never seen him shirtless before, and now he was only wearing a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. My eyes traveled down his neck slowly, and I stifled a gasp at the perfection of his upper body. If his form had been hinted in any of his clothes before, it was certainly nothing compared to what I was looking at now. _

_My eyes raked down his shoulders and first to his arms. The full biceps of his upper arm were relaxed now, but I knew the weight he could lift with them. His muscled forearms rested across his chest and lead down to his big hands and his long, slender fingers. From his arms my wandering eyes couldn't stay away from his chest and abdominals. His muscled torso was absolutely incredible. I lightly ran my fingers over his chiseled pecs, marveling at the cool, smooth skin resting across his hard muscles. I continued my journey south to trace my fingers over his well-defined abs and playing lightly with the baby soft hair that trailed downward from under his belly button. _

_My hand danced along the top of the elastic waist band of his pajama pants, barely poking my fingers underneath it and skimming the delicious "V" his pelvis bones made. I heard a sharp intake of breath when I did that and I heard his breathing accelerate. I snapped my eyes up to meet his sparkling green eyes which were dark with desire. He was staring down at me intensely, making sure that my gaze was held in his hypnotizing eyes._

"_Bella," he whispered, his velvety voice low and rough._

"_Edward," I whispered in response. His name was the only word I could think to speak._

_I looked up at him from under my eyelashes and suddenly I was being pulled on top of him, his large hand was pressed against the small of my back and his delectable lips were breaths away. I moaned his name softly before I took the initiative to press my lips to his again and wrap him into a passionate kiss. He moaned quietly into my mouth as he eagerly kissed me back. His lips were perfect on mine, so hot and soft. I felt his tongue snake out to trail across my bottom lip, silently begging me for entrance. I immediately granted him the access both he and I desperately wanted and within seconds I tasted him as he moved his tongue around mine. I locked my fingers in his gorgeous hair and pulled him closer to me as he pressed down on the small of my back, creating delicious friction. _

_I broke away reluctantly when I needed to breath, but his mouth never left me. He left hot kisses along my neck and exposed collarbone all the while whispering my name on my skin._

"_Bella...mmm…Bella…" he murmured against my collarbone. "Bella, I love you…I love you so much…" _

"_I love you, too, Edward…always and forever." I replied breathlessly. _

"_Bella," he whispered as he kissed my neck._

"_Bella," he said, no longer whispering, but still lovingly as he kissed my nose._

***END FLASHBACK***

"Bella." he said shortly, sounding quite annoyed.

"Bella!" I heard Jake yelling now. "Bells! Hello? Anybody upstairs?" He waved a hand in front of my face.

Shit. I had been daydreaming about kissing Edward. On my two year anniversary with Jacob. I really _was_ fucked up.

I shook my head quickly, trying to come back to the present situation.

_Which was what?_ I thought to myself._ Oh yeah, two year anniversary with Jacob. No biggie. _

"Sorry, Jake." I apologized half-heartedly. "I was just zoning out."

"Yeah, I know." He said pointedly, a slightly irritated look on his face.

I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry." I told him again.

He breathed out in defeat. "It's fine, Bells. Glad to know you're not in a coma or something." He teased.

I laughed softly then went back to my..er..breakfast. I took another few bites and washed it down with orange juice, leaving my plate mostly full.

"Mmm. That was so good, Jake. I couldn't eat another bite." I sat back in my chair, feigning fullness, when in fact I was still starving.

He looked down at my plate incredulously. "You barely ate anything."

I looked at him trying my best to appease his skepticism. "Not all of us eat a horse when we're hungry." I said sarcastically, knowing exactly how much food Jake could inhale in a single setting.

His expression softened and he barked a laugh which told me he had bought my excuse. "I guess you're right Bells."

"You _know_ I'm right, Jake." I corrected and he chuckled again.

After a long moment of awkward pausing I broke the silence. "So, I'm going to go get ready, 'kay?"

He nodded slightly and I turned to walk back into my room to change for my job and my classes that I had later today. I picked up the first pair of pants I saw and a navy blue sweater. I didn't really care what I looked like anymore. Jake didn't care what I wore. All of my clothes were worn and stretched and needed to be replaced, but quite frankly I didn't have the money nor the care to go out and replace my wardrobe.

_Alice would not be pleased with me._ I thought.

I almost immediately gasped when I thought about her. I hadn't thought about Alice Brandon in years. That shopaholic, spiky haired pixie had been Edward's best friend and his brother, Jasper's girlfriend. A wrenching pain shot down my spine when I recalled the night of the talent show when I had dressed up for Edward. I remembered quite vividly the look of desire Edward had given me when his eyes had raked down my body. I was getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it. I was still in shock that I had even thought about anyone associated with Edward. It just made the separation more painful than it needed to be.

I quickly shook the thought out of my head and threw the clothes on and tossed my hair up into a lazy bun since it was clearly not going to cooperate with me. I didn't bother with make-up so as soon as was as satisfied I could be with my reflection I stepped out of my room and into the living room where Jake had his feet propped on my coffee table scarfing the rest of my uneaten breakfast down as he watched ESPN on the big screen.

I rolled my eyes. Men. I sat down next in the chair beside the couch since he was a very tall man and therefore took up the majority of the couch. He smiled at me before turning back to the TV.

"Hey, Jake?" I asked softly after a moment.

"Yeah, Bells?" he responded, returning his attention to me.

"Just wanted to let you know that I would be a little late tonight…work has been driving me insane lately." I told him.

His face fell. "On our anniversary?" He asked sadly.

I nodded, hating to disappoint him.

"Isn't there any way you can get out of it? I kinda had plans for us tonight…" he mumbled.

My brow furrowed in confusion. Plans? We had promised that we weren't going to do anything or get each other anything. We were just going to celebrate it by being together a little more than usual.

"Plans? Jake…you know I don't like you spending money on me…" I said warningly.

His face lit up again. "I didn't spend any money…okay, well maybe a little. But I swear not much. You just really need to get out of working late tonight. I swear…you will not regret it."

He grinned while I looked even more confused. "Jake…where are we going?"

"New York City." He said simply.

My jaw dropped. "New York?!" I stuttered. "Why the hell are we going there?" I asked in shock.

"Geez, Bella. Don't sound so excited to go. And I can't tell you. It's a surprise. It's not that long of a drive. Only about three hours. Please, Bella. You will love it. Trust me." He replied.

I hesitated for a minute, weighing my options. I could tell he was growing impatient.

"C'mon Bella. We'll be back early tomorrow morning. Unless you wanted to stay…." He trailed off suggestively.

I bit my bottom lip in contemplation. Where the hell could he be possibly taking me in fucking NEW YORK CITY?! There was no doubt I absolutely wanted to go…but the possibility of staying over night with him was just so awkward. He would want to have sex with me…and I wouldn't want to. I don't want to lose my virginity that way. I knew exactly who I wanted to belong to. I knew exactly who I wanted to mark me forever.

_But that wouldn't happen. _I had to keep reminding myself.

"So…what do you think? Please, Bells?" he pleaded.

I sighed in defeat. "Okay Jake. I'll go. But no guarantees that we stay the night, okay?"

He smiled widely and nodded profusely. "Of course, Bells." He set the tray down on the table and rushed over to me to give me a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." He said as he squeezed me tighter.

"Jake…I seriously can't breathe…" I muttered while trying desperately to catch my breath.

He let me go, grinning like a maniac. "Sorry again, Bells." He said unrepentantly.

I rolled my eyes. "Now for my one condition."

His face immediately turned serious again. "What condition?" He asked carefully.

"I am not going unless you tell me what we are going to be doing." I said defiantly, tilting my chin up to tell him I wasn't kidding around.

"You mean that don't you?" He sighed as he shook his head. "So stubborn." He muttered under his breath.

"Yes, I do. And yes, I am stubborn…and damn proud of it." I told him confidently.

He sighed again in defeat. "Fine."

I raised my eyebrows. "Well?"

He grinned at me before reaching into his pocket and pulling something out and hiding it behind his back. "Kiss me first."

I sighed and gave him a soft peck before trying to reach behind him to grab whatever he was hiding from me. He took a huge step back, and I almost fell forward when he backed away.

"What, Jake? I kissed you…please show me?" I pleaded, knowing he couldn't resist when begged.

He fidgeted, trying very hard to resist. "Kiss me one more time?" He asked, his voice much less confident than before. I smirked at him, knowing I had him then kissed his lips softly again and pulling away.

"Now Jacob Black. Show me what you have behind your back." I commanded.

He gave in and jerked his hand in front of my face, waving around the two pieces of paper in his hand so fast that I couldn't see them clearly. But they looked like that they were some kind of tickets. My first assumption was that he was taking me to a Broadway show. I inwardly did a happy dance. I'd always wanted to go to a Broadway show.

But I wasn't sure that that was what it was, and I was growing impatient. "Jake, hold still."

He grinned playfully at me before shaking his head defiantly holding the tickets high above his head where he new I couldn't reach.

I stopped struggling because I knew that was what he wanted. I folded my arms across my chest and tapped my foot, giving him my best warning look through a clenched jaw.

He winced under my gaze and acquiesced and handed me the tickets. Before I had time to properly examine the event that we would be attending, Jake started shouting excitedly.

"WE'RE GOING TO SEE YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE BAND!! THE CULLEN BROTHERS BAND!!" He exclaimed happily.

I felt all the blood rush from my body until my body felt completely numb. I slowly looked down to see that he wasn't joking. I was going to see the Cullen Brothers Band. Tonight. I was going to see Edward, the man I had been madly in love with since the day I moved to Forks, Washington tonight. I was going to see the man that had loved me back and had broken my heart by leaving tonight. My jaw gaped open and my heart sputtered hyperactively. I was going to see him. I was going to see Edward. How had I missed this?? I had been following that band through the internet since the day the tour set off. I knew they had started their tour yesterday…and that they were going to kick it off in New York first. I mentally smacked myself in the forehead for being so oblivious.

I took a deep breath. I could handle this. It's not like the seats were front row or anything. Those would be impossible to get. I looked down to see where our seats were. Back row would be best. I searched for a row number when Jake's booming voice said, "I EVEN GOT FRONT ROW TICKETS! Damn those things were impossible to get! But I got 'em."

Well, _shit._ I thought to myself. There was no fucking way I would be able to handle that. But I had to. I had already agreed to it. And hell, if I got to see Edward, no matter how much pain it would cause me, I had to. I needed him like the very air I breathed. And I had been suffocating for far too long.

I told myself that I could handle being in a concert with thousands of people. It's not like he would be doing a private show. He wouldn't see me at all. It would be just him and his music. Like it had been the night he had won way back in Senior year of high school. I still had that picture of he and I kissing. I hadn't told anyone I had kept it. Jake didn't know about my relationship with Edward. He just figured it was a crush on a rock star, so it didn't really bother him.

"And that's not even the best part, Bells." He told me excitedly.

I looked at him incredulously. "What?" I squeaked.

"I GOT BACK STAGE PASSES!" Holy fuck I was in trouble.

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**WELLLLL?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?!?! i actually really like this chapter even if it only has a little edward in it....i thought i wasnt going to be able to post today because i just started this last night...but you know procrastincation of summer reading is a fabulous thing for fanfiction readers....the writers post much more often :D well i hope you enjoyed the chapter!!! it was a little less depressing than the first two....but you know edward...always the brooding type....which is why we love him so? 3 btw...look up that song "Blurry" on youtube...it really is a perfect song for bella in this chapter :D**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!**

**Your Friendly Neighborhood Twilighter,**

**Jessica**

**PS See you next Friday!!! **


	4. It's Been Awhile Since I Fell For You

**I AM SO SORRY!!!! Okay...I am seriously so sorry for not updating yesterday...school just started back for me and it was pretty overwhelming so I was really busy doing school work all week....sheesh...it's only the first week back. So now that school has started...I'm going to update every 2 weeks instead of one...I know I'm really depressed about it too...but I need to do my school work...speaking of which...I have been avoiding it all day in order to finish this chapter for you guys....PLEASE PASS ON THE NEW OF MY STORY!!! I would really appreciate it!!!**

**Thanks again to everyone who has supported my channel change!! You've made it as awesome as it possibly can be!! Thanks for all of the support!!! So, I don't have a song of the chapter this time because there are 2 songs in here!!!! I rewrote this chapter several times which is also why it took so long and I am super please with the final product!!!!!!!!! THANKS SO MUCH GUYS!!!!! **

**And now after a surprisingly short author's note...a SURPRISINGLY LONG CHAPTER!!!!! WOO HOO!!! this is the longest yet!!! (haha...that's what she said :D)**

**READ ON!!!**

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**APOV**

I needed to go.

"Jasper!" I called out.

"Yes, angel?" He said from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I smiled to myself. God, I loved this man. Maybe I could just wait…

_No, Alice. Focus. _I told myself. "I'm going out, 'kay? I'll be back in time for the concert. I swear."

He spun me around and kissed me eagerly. I sighed into the kiss, subconsciously moving my hands to his hair. _Maybe I could just stay here…what was I going to do anyway?_ Shit! Bella! That's more damn important right this second. I pulled away reluctantly, meeting his confused gaze.

"Jazz, I gotta go. I'll be back…I just need to go shopping for something to wear tonight, okay? I've had my eye on this pair of Jimmy Choos forever," I sighed dreamily then turned to smile happily at him, knowing that he would buy my story. I could be very convincing when I was scheming.

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, my little pixie. I can't wait to see you again tonight. I love you, Alice."

I felt myself melt into a puddle of goo and a lazy smile spread across my face. He smiled and kissed me chastely once more before he took my hand in his and walked me to my car. I let go of his hand reluctantly and got in my canary yellow Porsche 911 Turbo.

"I love you, Jazzy Bear," I giggled as I called him his least favorite pet name. He grimaced adorably then closed the door behind me, pressing his hand to the glass. I pressed my hand to the glass with his and we stared into each other's eyes for a long moment before I finally was able to escape his gravitational pull on me and begin driving to New Hampshire. I had to talk to Bella about Edward. It had been four years. She was left mangled and broken, and so was he. I had to help in anyway possible. I needed my best friends back. And they needed each other.

More than either of them would ever know.

**BPOV**

"Shit." I muttered to myself as I frantically searched for something to wear. Never in my life had I been so panicked over in my life. And over freakin' clothes, for Christ's sake! I violently shoved hanger after hanger of garments to the side, as I continued my hunt.

"Isabella Marie Swan, why do you have those hideous clothes scattered about your exceptionally dull bedroom?" I froze when I heard the sound of wind chimes floating through the air. I knew that voice. I turned around and my jaw dropped in shock when I saw my best friend smiling widely at me in the door way. I tried speaking, but it came out as a strangled gasp.

She laughed musically at my speechlessness. "Bella, you really need to close that mouth of yours. A bug might fly in."

"Alice! Oh my God! How did you—when did you—I mean—how did you know—" I stuttered.

She closed the gap between us. "I remembered you being much more articulate, Bella." She smirked.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Alice, what are you doing here? How did you find me?" I asked in awe of my pixie friend. I took a moment to fully appreciate her stunning beauty. My self-esteem dropped about twenty points just being in the same room with her. She hadn't changed much since high school. She was still adorably tiny. She still had that spiky black hair. She still dressed in all of the most fashionable clothes. And most of all, she still had stunning, angelic good-looks.

"You should know by now that I can do anything, Bella." She chirped, rolling her eyes at the incredibly obvious. Her personality hadn't changed at all either. She was still her scheming, mischievous, devious self.

"Of course, Alice." I smiled widely at her. "But you still haven't answered me. Why are you here?"

Her chipper smile faded almost instantly and she turned gravely serious. "Bella, I am here because I _need_ to talk to you about Edward."

My heart sputtered hyper actively at the sound of his name and I gasped slightly, taken aback by his name. A flood of memories rushed back from the far corner of my conscious mind where I had safely stored them away many years ago. Edward and I in love. Alice and I best friends. Love. Love. Love. Being in love was the best thing that ever happened to me, even if I did end up torn and broken, and left bleeding on the floor.

"Edward," I choked in a strangled whisper.

She took her hand in mine and led me from the bedroom and sat with me on the couch then stared up at me, her angelic face solemn. I dropped my eyes from her scrutinizing gaze before she spoke again. "Bella, Edward is a wreck to put it lightly." She said quietly, never letting go of my hand.

My eyes shot up immediately and met her concerned eyes. "What's wrong? What happened? Is he okay? Oh God, is he hurt? Oh no...oh no…" I hung my face in my hands at the mere possibility of Edward being hurt, physically or emotionally. Would he ever be okay? I felt tears streaming freely along the over heated skin of my cheeks.

She lifted my face, but I kept my eyes down. "Bella, look at me." She commanded quietly.

I lifted my watery eyes to stare in to hers. "Bella, listen to me. You have absolutely no idea what's happened to him. No one knows what's really happening that head of his. He wallows around the house, only exiting his room to grab something to eat and immediately returning to sulk. I've never seen him so depressed in my life."

My heart was crushed even more at the news of the one I loved. Who had done this to him? Who would be so cruel as to hurt him in such a way? What kind of monster would intentionally hurt someone as perfect and good and patient and forgiving as Edward?

"Who did this to him?" I barely whispered in horror.

She looked gravely at me, looking like she was deliberating. "I'm not sure, but I do know this Bella; Edward is more miserable than you could possibly imagine." She began again.

"But…why?" I asked incredulously. "He loves music. It's his life."

She muttered something to herself that I didn't catch, shaking her head.

"What, Alice?"

"Nothing. It's nothing." She said dismissively. "Bella, I found this picture. And I need to show it to you. I need to prove something to you." She pulled out a photo from her purse and held it in front of me.

I gasped and my hand flew to my open mouth. In her hand, I saw Edward and I kissing passionately. I remembered the exact moment when it happened. It was the day he left. I had vaguely remembered my seventeen year old self registering a camera flash in through the heat and passion of the kiss. I unconsciously brought my finger up to trace the outline of our bodies lightly. I took note of his unruly bronze hair and his strong jaw line. His emerald green dazzling eyes were closed, but I could still almost feel the intensity of his love for me that always flowed freely from his green orbs into mine. His slender hands were placed delicately on my waist and if I concentrated hard enough, I could still feel the memory of his thumbs lightly tracing circles on my hips. I looked at myself next and was shocked with what I saw. I saw my shiny mahogany hair flowing down my back, and my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. I saw myself smiling into the kiss, and how my body was flush against his. I imagined his muscular torso and how it felt under my fingertips. But above all of the things in the picture, I saw something far more important. Happiness. It was an emotion I hadn't seen in myself in so long, I was shocked to discover it even existed for me.

"Bella, come here." She dragged me to the mirror. "Bella look at this picture then look at yourself." After another immeasurable moment of staring at the picture I looked up into the mirror and was horrified at what I saw.

My fair skin was even paler than it had ever been. My once healthy hair was wrought with splintered ends and knots. My eyes were no longer a deep chocolate pool teeming with life, but a dull, polluted pond in winter.

"I want my best friend back." She whispered. That was all it took for me to break down.

I burst out into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. Alice just held me as I soaked her shirt, rubbing her hand up and down my back in soothing gesture. When I had finally finished, I pulled away and sniffled and stared at Alice's drenched shirt.

"Oh, Alice! I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, feeling very guilty.

She waved it off flippantly. "Bella, it's okay. I promise. You needed that, I know." She squeezed my hand encouragingly.

I half smiled in reply.

She cheered up suddenly and began asking me about my life and everyone in it. I told about Dartmouth and the classes I was taking. I told her about my new found friends like Angela and her steady boyfriend. And when she asked me if I had a boyfriend, I proceeded to tell Alice how I had met Jacob freshmen year of college and how we immediately became best friends. How he had asked me to be his girlfriend sophomore year and how we had been together ever since and how today was ironically enough our two year anniversary.

"Aww, Bella! That's great! Hmmm…do you love him?" She asked bluntly.

I hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I love Jake. I really do. But I'm not _in_ love with him." I replied. "I've only been in love with one person…" I whispered to myself.

"What was that, Bella?" She asked, raising a perfect eyebrow.

"Nothing," I told her.

She looked at me skeptically, but shrugged it off. I prayed that she wouldn't call me out on my lie.

Suddenly, a mischievous grin spread across her delicate features.

I raised my eyebrows questioningly. "Alice…" I warned. "Whatever your scheming…" I started but she cut me off.

"I'm not scheming anything, Bella! How could you even think something like that?!" she shrieked in faux horror.

I rolled my eyes. "I know you're planning something."

She smiled widely. "I'm only planning a simple, run-of-the-mill shopping trip! Hardly to be considered a _scheme_." She spat the word.

I sighed heavily. "You're going to make me go shopping with you aren't you?"

"Well, you want to look fabulous for your anniversary date don't you?" She questioned.

"I mean, I don't know…I guess…" I sputtered.

"Yes! C'mon, Bella! We don't have a ton of time before you have to head out!"

And with that, I reluctantly let the pixie drag me off into the great unknown otherwise known as the mall.

"Bella!" She called over from the other side of the dressing room door.

I stared at myself in the mirror and grimaced immediately. "Well?" she inquired.

"Not a chance in hell." I replied.

"C'mon, Bella. Let me just see it!" She huffed.

"No, Alice. It looks horrible!" I whined.

"Bella, I will not let you out of that dressing room until you show me. And then you'd be late." She warned in a menacing tone.

I was silent for a moment, weighing my options. She seemed to hear the skepticism in my silence. "Don't think I won't do it, Bella. Because I will." She stated.

I sighed. "Fine." I flung the door open to reveal the outfit she had me in. **(DRESS IN MY PROFILE I IMAGINED IT BLUE THOUGH)**

Her jaw hung open and she struggled to find words. "Damn, I'm good." She said after a moment.

"Alice, what the hell are you talking about? It looks like you stole the dress from a prostitute!" I yelled, causing several heads to turn in my direction. After receiving a few cat calls and wolf whistles and blushing the shade of a tomato, I found Alice smirking at me.

"See? You look damn sexy! And the dress really is adorable. It compliments your fair skin very well." She said, admiring earning another blush from me.

"Fine. I'll get it okay? Happy?" I finally gave in. She squealed in excitement.

"Yay! Bella you're going to knock him off his feet! And have him pitching a tent the instant he sees you!"I imagined Jake's wide grin when he saw me but suddenly his toothy grin was replaced by the crooked smile I had always been in love with. I felt my cheeks burn scarlet as I imagined an aroused Edward. His hair would be even more unruly, and his sparkling green eyes would be dark with desire. His velvety voice would be low and rough, just as it had been the morning I had woken up next to him. Every muscle in his body would be tensed as he tried to control himself as Edward always did. But I wouldn't want him to be under control.

Mmmmmmmm…..

"Bel-la?" Alice waved her hand in front of my face, bringing me back to reality. I quickly pushed the thought out of my mind before she could say anything about it.

"Yes, Alice?" I answered.

"Were we daydreaming about someone?" She asked with a knowing smirk.

"I don't know, Alice. Were we?" I retorted.

"Don't think I don't know you were thinking about Jake. So just deal with it. No, go change out of that dress. We're buying it." She said. I sighed inwardly. A sharp pain coursed through me. I hadn't been thinking about Jake, my boyfriend. I had been thinking about Edward, my soul mate and one and only true love.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, Alice." I stepped into the dressing room and quickly changed out of my dress and slipped my much more comfortable jeans and a t-shirt back on and headed out to find Alice. She was gawking over a new pair of Gucci boots when I found her in the shoe department. I could have sworn I saw a little drool dribble down her chin.

I snapped my fingers in front of her face and brought her back to reality.

"Oh, sorry." She smiled sheepishly.

"It's fine, Ali." I smiled at her. "If you really want them, get them." I told her.

"Oh, I plan to." She smirked, holding out a box with the Gucci boots in her size.

"Of course, you do." I said, laughing at her.

After another hour of torture, shoe shopping was done and we headed to look around the mall. We had just passed the food court when I suddenly became aware that Alice was no longer walking beside me.

I spun around quickly, hoping to find her small body among the crowd. It turned out to be easier than I thought. I found her almost instantly and followed her gaze into the offensive pink store. I grimaced at her.

"Absolutely not, Alice." I told her firmly.

"Oh, don't be such a wuss, Bella. I know you're a Victoria's Secret virgin, so I'll take it slow this first time." She patted my hand affectionately before pulling me with her into the store. I was suddenly surrounded by the unknown world of lingerie. Everything seemed lacy and sheer and revealing. I knew I couldn't pull off something like that. I didn't have the confidence level that Alice had. I saw Alice pulling bra and panties sets off the wracks and began to worry what she had picked out for me.

"Go try these on." She ordered as she shoved a pile of bras and panties into my arms.

"Alice…" I started to protest.

She held up a finger. "Nope, no arguing. Go." She pointed to the dressing room and I stomped off to try them on just to appease her.

The first set she had chosen was red and lacy and quite frankly a little frightening. So I immediately tossed it to the side. The next set was much more suitable and I felt comfortable in it.

"How's it going?" She called from the other side.

"Okay. I found one. So, I think that's enough." I responded, desperately hoping that one was enough.

"_One? _You'll need more than one, Bella." She replied and I could hear her eyes roll. "Well, let me see the one you have on."

I opened the door self consciously and was met with a wide smile. "Bella, you look incredible. You have an amazing body. Who knew that under all of those baggy clothes and sports bras, you'd have a body like this! I mean, seriously, Bella! What took you so long?"

I rolled my eyes and closed the door. "Wow, Alice. You sure know how to compliment a girl." I replied facetiously.

She simply smirked at me.

By the time we had finished shopping and were back at my apartment, I only had about two hours until Jake was coming to pick me up to leave for New York.

"Let's get you ready." Alice said, rubbing her hands together.

"Should I be scared?" I asked, feeling quite terrified anyway.

"Well, I haven't given you a makeover in four years. You best believe I'm going to make up every second making you look even more incredible.

I spent the next hour and a half in a chair, waiting for Alice to be done with my hair. She wouldn't let me see myself until she was completely finished, just like that night before the infamous talent show. I felt her applying my make up and swiping lip gloss along my lips. She stood back and admired her work, a wide smile on her face.

"Sometimes I just amaze myself." She said, beaming.

"Conceited, much?" I teased.

She playfully slapped my arm. "You be quiet. You'll be biting your tongue when you see yourself. Now go put on that amazing dress!"

I saw the black lace bra and panty set she had laid out for me before I slipped on the sapphire blue dress and put the black peep toe heels I had gotten then proceeded to walk back into the room where Alice was getting ready.

She turned from the mirror and her jaw dropped. "Damn, Bella! You look incredible."

I blushed in response. "Thanks,"

A few moments later I heard the doorbell ring and I rushed to the door to answer it. I flung the door open and immediately saw Jake, looking quite handsome in his faded jeans and black t-shirt. His famous wide grin spread across his face.

"Wow, Bells…you look…" he began, his eyes roaming my body.

"Incredible, I know." I heard Alice come up behind me, smiling smugly at me before she turned to Jake.

"Jacob, right?" She extended an tiny hand for him to shake.

He chuckled throatily as he shook her hand. "Call me, Jake. And yup, that's me."

"It is extremely nice to meet you, Jake. I'm Alice, one of Bella's best friends. We hadn't seen each other in a long time and I was in town so I thought I'd stop by."

"It's so nice to meet one of Bella's friends." He wrapped his arm around my waist. "I assume I have you to thank for making Bella look even more beautiful than usual?"

She beamed. "It's a gift."

"Well, thank you _very _much, Alice. I owe you one. I think it's time we get going, sorry Alice. It was very nice to meet you."

"It was nice to meet you too, Jake. Do you mind me asking where you two are going?" She asked. I realized that I hadn't told her about the concert tonight.

"We're actually heading to New York City." Jake said, smiling widely.

"Oh, that's so sweet! Are you guys going to see a Broadway play, or something?" She asked excitedly.

"Nope, even better." Jake replied, causing Alice to raise one eyebrow. "I'm taking Bella to see The Cullen Brother's Band! She's had this obsession with them since I met her. I even got back stage passes so she can meet them! I'm sure she can't wait to meet the lead singer, Edwin or something," I cut him off.

"Edward. His name is Edward." I corrected, feeling quite defensive.

"Yeah, Edward. I think that she's had a little crush on him since they first started being a band." He teased. If only he knew how right he was.

Alice smiled widely and winked at me. "I've personally had a crush on the bassist, Jasper, for quite some time." She laughed musically. "They are my favorite band as well, I can't believe you guys actually get to meet them. I've wanted to meet them forever!" She feigned jealousy.

Jake laughed heartedly. "Maybe you'll meet them some day."

"I can only dream about it. Oh well. A girl can hope." She shrugged.

"Well, we'll see you later Alice." Jake said.

"Sooner than you think." Alice smiled up at him, then turned to me, smiling knowingly at me.

"Bye, Bella!" She exclaimed. "We must get together sometime! I'm always in New York even though I travel quite a bit."

"We really do. It was amazing seeing you again." My voice cracked slightly and she pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'll be at the concert tonight. I'll see you backstage." She whispered in my ear.

I pulled back, a little shocked. "What?" I mouthed.

"Jasper," she mouthed simply. My heart ached. They had stayed together this whole time. I longed for that kind of love. The kind of love that keeps you together no matter what. But there was only one person who I wanted to love me like that. And it was the one person that hated me most.

I smiled weakly at her before turning back to Jake.

"Ready?" I asked, plastering a fake smile on my face.

"Whenever you are, babe." He replied.

"Bye guys! Have fun!" Alice called out. "I'll be out of your apartment soon, I swear. I just need to clean up a bit! See you soon, Bella!"

She winked at me and I smiled at her in return.

Jake and I got into his car, and began driving toward New York, and the same familiar feeling was settling in the pit of my stomach. I was afraid.

No, I was much than that. I was terrified beyond conscious belief.

And there was no turning back now.

****EARLIER THAT AFTERNOON****

**EPOV**

Ring. Ring. Ring.

I groaned and buried my face into the pillow when my phone on my beside table rang loud in my ear. I ignored it and pulled the covers over my head. We had just arrived in New York a few hours ago, and I hadn't gotten any sleep on the bus. I was too busy thinking about Bella and my increasingly masochistic behavior.

_Hey, this is Edward…Leave your message after the beep_. My answering machine said after the final ring.

"EDWARD! GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUT OF BED!!" a booming voice yelled. I didn't answer him so he spoke again. "God, Edward. I know you're there...but I also know that you aren't gonna answer the fucking phone so I'm just going to say this once." He continued. "You need to get your pretty boy ass down in the lobby in one hour, you got me? ONE hour. So stop your bitching and get the fuck down here!" I heard the answering machine click off and I sighed heavily.

Well, fuck. Another day without Bella. Another day without air. Might as well suffocate myself in my pillow. It was almost frightening how tempted I was.

But, I had to get up. My family was depending on me. I pushed up off the bed, my biceps groaning in protest. I forced my eyes open, my eyelids still heavy with sleep. I sat up and ran my fingers through my always untidy bronze locks. Another day, another meaningless concert. And in the Big Apple nonetheless. New York fans were a little on the…violent side. They were always pushing and shoving, trying desperately to get to the front of the line to get autographs. They were also the loudest. And with close to 50,000 people showing up tonight, I probably wouldn't be able to hear in the morning. Not that I cared.

I forced my legs to move me toward my bathroom to get ready for the day. I stripped down, forcing myself not to look at the mirror to see the mirror image of my life in shambles and got into the shower. The hot water streamed down my back as it loosened up all of my tense muscles. I moaned in relief and hung my head down, letting the water wet my hair. I wanted to stay in here forever, but I knew I had a time limitation, and a limited hot water supply.

I climbed out of the shower reluctantly and threw on some clothes, grabbing my jacket and running my fingers through my wet hair before heading out to meet my brothers. I found them lounging on the leather couches in a private area of the lobby with a venti cup of Starbucks coffee on the table.

When I reached them, I immediately snatched the cup and downed the scalding hot liquid. My throat burned, but I didn't care.

"Slow down, dude." Jasper said, fighting back laughter.

I glared at both of them before sitting down on the chair across from them. "So what's with the early morning meetings? You know I'm not a morning person."

Emmett smirked, nodding to the coffee cup. "Yeah, we can see that.

I rolled my eyes. "Well?"

"Well, we just wanted to inform you that we'll have some guests after the concert. They got all access backstage passes, so try to be civil." Jasper said.

"In other words, don't call security just because a girl was touching your shoulder." Emmett snorted.

"Hey! There was a clear inappropriateness in that touch!" I defended.

"Oh, yeah, Edward." Emmett rolled his eyes. "I definitely feel violated when someone touches my shoulder."

Irritated, I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest and sinking back into the chair.

"Aw, it poor Eddie pouting?" Emmett teased.

I shot him a glare.

"Is that all you wanted to discuss?" I seethed in annoyance.

"Yup, that's pretty much it." Jasper said.

"Well okay, then. I'm leaving." I got up from my chair. "I'll be at the concert whenever it starts."

"It starts in like, two hours. You've been up in your room all day."

"Surprise, surprise." I heard Emmett mutter.

"So," Jasper began again. "We're going to head out now. So come on."

I sighed reluctantly but acquiesced. It wasn't like I had anything better to do that wallow in my own sorrow and drink the days away.

We hopped in the tour bus and when we arrived at the arena where we would be playing, we were greeted by hundreds of screaming fans, all pushing and shoving to get to where they could see us. Emmett loved the attention, proving my point when he flexed for the cameras. Jasper didn't mind it either. I on the other hand absolutely hated it. I quietly walked behind them, ignoring my name being screamed and the arms that were extended trying to reach me.

We entered backstage and were greeted by the stage director, the producer, and our agent who was also our father, Carlisle.

"Hey Dad." We all said in unison.

"Hello, boys. Ready for the show?" He asked.

"Of course, Dad. We always are." Jasper said.

"Excellent. Well, off you go to the dressing room." He said before he walked over and began chatting with the director, how the lights needed to be and whatnot.

After an hour in the dressing room, getting ready for the show, we were down to about ten minutes before the show started.

"Ready guys?" Jasper asked.

"As I'll ever be." I replied as we walked to the wings of the stage. I heard the thousands of fans chanting our name and I was suddenly brought back to the night of the talent show. The night that had changed my life forever.

The stage went black and we quickly went out and went it to our positions. We were starting out with our first single, which involved me playing at the grand piano that was set up on stage. I quickly got myself situated and took a deep breath, my fingers on the keys lightly.

The spot light shone down on me alone and the vast expanse of people screamed when they saw me. The thrill the crowd seemed to have by seeing me was always a mystery to me. I was just…Edward. Edward Cullen. No more, no less.

My fingers began to play and I found my voice as I started to sing.

_The best thing 'bout tonight's that we're not fighting  
Could it be that we have been this way before?  
I know you don't think that I am trying  
I know you're wearing thin down to the core_

I crooned in the the microphone and the cheers erupted more loudly at our first song.

_But hold your breath  
Because tonight will be the night  
That I will fall for you over again  
Don't make me change my mind_

Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a girl like you is impossible to find  
You're impossible to find

It was clear that I had written this song for Bella the moment I had begun this life. Everyone knew that. Every word in this song poured out of my soul as I imagined Bella sitting next to me sitting on the piano bench. I closed my eyes and pictured her happy face and joyful tears streaming down her eyes. I sang the next part with more fervor.

_This is not what I intended  
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart  
You always thought that I was stronger  
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start_

_Oh, but hold your breath_

Jasper and Emmett came in by this point and the lights went up revealing them to the audience, who erupted into more cheers.

_Because tonight will be the night  
That I will fall for you over again  
Don't make me change my mind_

_Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a girl like you is impossible to find  
It's impossible_

_So breathe in so deep  
Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep  
And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap  
And remember me tonight when you're asleep_

Jasper and Emmett dropped out here and my solo began.

_Because tonight will be the night  
That I will fall for you over again  
Don't make me change my mind_

_Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a girl like you is impossible to find_

_Tonight will be the night  
That I will fall for you over again  
Don't make me change my mind_

_Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a girl like you is impossible to find  
You're impossible to find_

_I_ finished softly, smiling up at Jasper and Emmett who were looking triumphant at the response of the crowd. I took notice of the crowd and how they were singing along with me and my eyes drifted to the front row. I scanned the crowd and saw the typical stream of screaming girls. The majority of them were girls, so it surprised me to see testosterone spotting the sea of estrogen. He was very tall and muscular looking with dark skin and black hair to match. He was leaning down and whispering something in the ear of the girl next to him. I moved my eyes away from him and to the girl he was with.

My breath caught in my throat when I took in the sight of her. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her long brown hair, and slender body sent pains down my spine as I recalled precisely of who this stranger reminded me of. I immediately resented her. Cursing her for being so beautiful. I tried to look away, but the magnetic force pulled me closer. Her eyes caught with mine and I saw her jaw open slightly in surprise. Her eyes never left mine as Emmett introduced us as he did at the beginning of every concert we had had since the talent show. The cheers were always loudest for me, but I didn't care. All I cared about was the gorgeous woman on the front row who still hadn't broken my gaze.

After what seemed like an eternity, we started the second song. We continued to play our set, taking a break briefly before finished the concert with our newest song. It was a song that I had written in response to my extreme depression being without Bella had caused me.

It was a lot more violent and self-consuming than my beginning work, but I wrote what I felt, and all I felt now was pain. I got my guitar and walked up to the microphone, my eyes still on the captivating woman on the front row.

"Well, since this is the last song of the night, we figured you'd want something new. So this is a new song that I wrote recently," I said into the microphone. "That deals with loosing someone you love and the heart break it causes you. It's called It's Been Awhile...I hope you guys like it."

I stepped away and broke our gaze only for a moment to situate my guitar and begin playing. As soon as I started I looked back at her, pretending that it was Bella that I saw and some stranger.

_It's been awhile_  
_Since I could hold my head up high  
It's been awhile  
Since I first saw you_

_It's been awhile  
Since I could stand on my own two feet again  
It's been awhile  
Since I could call you_

Emmett and Jasper slammed their parts when the chorus began.

_And everything I can't remember  
As fucked up as it all may seem  
The consequences that I've rendered  
I've stretched myself beyond my means  
_

_It's been awhile  
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted  
It's been awhile  
Since I can say I love myself as well_

_It's been awhile  
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do  
It's been awhile  
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you_

_And everything I can't remember  
As fucked up as it all may seem  
The consequences that I've rendered  
I've gone and fucked things up again_

I stole glances from her, and each time her eyes were locked on me, mouthing the words to my song. I concentrated on her lips as best I could. They were pink and luscious and full. I wanted so badly to kiss her. _STOP EDWARD_! I mentally scolded myself. _You love Bella. Not some random girl._

_Why must I feel this way?  
Just make this go away  
Just one more peaceful day_

_It's been awhile  
Since I could look at myself straight  
It's been awhile  
Since I said I'm sorry_

_It's been awhile  
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face  
It's been awhile  
But I can still remember just the way you taste_

_And everything I can't remember  
As fucked up as it all may seem to be, I know it's me  
I cannot blame this on my father  
He did the best he could for me_

_It's been awhile  
Since I could hold my head up high  
And it's been awhile  
Since I said I'm sorry_

I finished the song and hung my head down, focusing on thoughts of the mysterious girl on the front row and Bella. I heard Emmett close out our show and the crowd erupted in a roar of cheers again. We exited the stage and our father hugged all of us.

"All of you did fantastic." He beamed. "And now it's time to meet your guests. There's only two." He smiled widely at us and said something to both Jasper and Emmett who responded with wide eyes and gaping jaws.

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Emmett yelled happily, his eyes bright with excitement.

I raised my eyebrow. "What is it?"

"Nothing. It's nothing." Jasper said. "C'mon we shouldn't leave our guests waiting." He said as he started walking briskly toward the lounge.

"What the hell is the matter with you two?" I asked as I pushed open the door to the lounge. "You're both acting like--" I cut myself off when I finally looked at who was in the lounge with me. My jaw dropped and I froze in my tracks. There standing with the same shocked expression I wore was the girl from the front row.

I tried to find my voice to ask her name to say something. But I was cut off again, by Emmett this time.

"BELLA!!!!!"

_Holy. Fucking. Shit._ I felt my heart beating again for the first time in four years.

_

* * *

_

**Well?!??! THEY ARE REUNITED!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!! So i'm really happy about this chapter!!!! i hope you guys liked it!!!!! btw...check out the links for each of the songs and for Bella's dress!!!! AWESOME POSSOM**

**Until two Fridays from now,**

**Your Friendly Neighborhood Twilight,**

**Jessica**

**PS my other account goes down on Tuesday!!! LET EVERYONE KNOW!!!**


	5. Here Without the Web Mistress

**WHY HELLO THERE!!! Well...it's Friday again...and you know what that means!!! Time for another fanstastical chapter!! Well at least I hope you think its fantastical. I THINK SO!! Haha. So this chapter wasn't really what I expected....it just kinda flowed when I started writing. It's still along the same lines as my original plans...lol. SO...ON TO THE THANK YOUS!!**

**To ritarocks...BECAUSE SHE REVIEWS EVERY CHAPTER!! THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING SO LOYAL!!! To sillywriter101...dude...you're awesome...nuff said...YOU ROCK MY WORLD!!! :D to Kikzzz!!! thanks SOOOOOO much for being excited about my next chapter!!! to fabulouslygirly for a review that made me LMAO. haha. seriously. made my day. to mikenewtonislove...for reviewing and for HAVING A FREAKIN' AWESOME PEN NAME. YOU'RE SUPER MEGA WAI!! (which means really really cool in spanish....just fyi :D) to Twilight050595 for PMing me...I dont think you guys realize how much I love getting messages :D feel free to send 'em my way!! Also to Sinead Fagan...WE ARE TOTALLY WRITING A STORY TOGETHER!!!! I AM SO PSYCHED!!!!! NOT EVEN LYING. hehe. FINALLY...to brokenglassheart....I LOVE YOU. your review totally made my day and your PMs are always amazing :D haha.**

**Once again no song for this chapter cuz the song is IN the chapter so...yeah...**

**READ ON.**

* * *

**BPOV**

"Tickets, please." The huge security officer held out his hands and raised his eyebrows in question. I shrunk back into Jake, suddenly terrified of the theater we were entering.

Jake stepped in front of me in a protective gesture, evidently thinking that I was afraid of the officer. I laughed silently without humor at the irony of my situation. Jake handed the guy our tickets and gave us the ticket stubs back.

"Enjoy the show." He said monotonously.

I mumbled my thanks while Jake grabbed hand and dragged me towards the entrance doors among throngs of people. My chronic clumsiness was unleashing its wrath on innocent people as I stepped on countless toes and tripped again and again in the ridiculous heels I was wearing. My eyes never left my feet as we continued down what seemed like and endless aisle. My stomach was churning. My palms were sweating uncontrollably. I felt like I was going to pass out with nervousness. I tried to take a few calming breaths, but they were uneven and shallow. The world seemed to be passing by us in slow motion, and someone had muted everything but my own breathing and the pounding of my broken heart.

"This is us, Bells." Jacob called over his shoulder, breaking me out of my trance.

I looked up and gasped at the close proximity of the stage. I could see the crew setting up and everyone scurrying around in preparation of for the show that started in approximately twenty four and thirty seven seconds. Not that I was counting down or anything.

"This is great isn't it, Bells?" Jake whispered in my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. I shivered at the breath on the back of my neck. He took it as a shiver of desire and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Later, baby, later." He promised, tracing his hands up and down my sides. I pulled away from him immediately, turning to face his amused expression. I gave him my best stern look, chastising him. He just laughed his throaty chuckle. I rolled my eyes at him and sat down in my seat, folding my arms across my chest. He sat down beside me, his amused countenance unrepentant.

"Aw, c'mon, Bells. Don't be that way. I was just kidding around. But," He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at me. "If you want me to be serious, I'd be more than willing."

Aggravated at his persistence, I slapped his shoulder hard, causing him to flinch back in shock.

"Geez, so touchy," He muttered, rubbing his shoulder.

I smirked at him and pulled my purse out to check and see what time it was. I almost dropped my phone as I checked the time. Only three minutes. Oh, God. Three minutes until I saw—I swallowed hard—Edward. I found myself twirling my hair and shaking my leg in nervousness as the queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach continued to grow with each passing second.

I checked my phone again, surprised by an alert saying I had a text message up on the screen. It was Alice. I gulped and immediately clicked the button that led me to the message.

_Hey grl! Its alice! :) I c u!! ur on da front row…im backstge wit eddie and da gang!! Ps…eddie is gonna FLIP when he sees u! luv alice. _

My heart continued thudding loudly as I checked the time again. Seven o'clock.

As soon as I closed my phone the house lights faded to black, and only the sound of thousands of screaming girls flooded the theater. A few seconds later a beam of light shot down from the ceiling above the stage. My eyes followed down the stream of light and my heart stopped completely.

Seated at the jet black, grand piano was the single most gorgeous man on the face of the planet. Like a magnet, my eyes immediately went to his incomparable face. His emerald eyes were closed and his eyebrows were knitted together in concentration. His perfect skin seemed almost translucent in the blinding spotlight. His gorgeous, bronze, unruly hair fell across his forehead when he lowered his head to gently tap the keys beneath his fingers. I was staring at the face of an archangel. At the face of a god. At the face of my one and only true love, Edward Cullen.

I inhaled sharply when he lifted his head and began to sing. His velvety voice crooned seductively. My jaw fell open when my eyes trailed down his perfectly sculpted body. He was wearing the exact shirt he had worn the last performance I saw him in. Green and black checkered button up with the sleeves rolled up. The uneasiness in my stomach quickly faded away and was replaced with a pang of desire low in my stomach. I barely noticed the crowd screaming around me or the hand that was placed on my waist. It was just me and Edward.

I saw him smile into the microphone as his solo came to a close. The lights quickly went up revealing Jasper and Emmett to the crowd when their part began. More screams erupted but I kept my focus on Edward as the song gradually came to a close. Edward's eyes lifted and he smiled triumphantly up at his brothers whose eyes were wide with excitement. He then turned to scan the front row and it happened.

His jade eyes found mine immediately and locked me in his gaze. My jaw dropped slightly and I felt another streak of desire shooting between my legs under the intensity of his gaze. My knees went weak beneath me as I struggled to stand up. The dizzying affect he always had on me was increased one hundred- fold after four years of being without him. His eyes never left mine under our undoubtedly magnetic gaze while Emmett introduced the three brothers in the same manner as they had been doing every concert since the talent show. The cheers were loudest for him of course. That much hadn't changed.

A pain shot down my spine at the thought. Would he have changed? Would he remember me? Could he ever love me the same way I loved him? Would our gaze ever break?

An eternity passed and he reluctantly broke away to continue with his set. I knew every word to every song. I watched hypnotized as the muscles of his forearms flexed as he strummed his guitar. He was so close I felt like I could taste him. I could see the droplets of sweat gathering along the crease of his forehead, biting his lip in concentration when he wasn't seducing the crowd with his smooth, low voice. They briefly took a break before coming out for their last song.

"Well, since this is the last song of the night, we figured you'd want something new. So this is a new song that I wrote recently," He said sexily into the microphone. "That deals with loosing someone you love and the heart break it causes you. It's called It's Been Awhile...I hope you guys like it."

I knew the song well. Even though it hadn't been released yet, I ran one of the main fan websites so I always got things like that sent to me early. His eyes lowered to his guitar while he played the beginning chords. Then, suddenly, the emeralds shot up to meet my eyes again. I mouthed the words as he sang them, the undertone much darker than in many of his other songs. I could have sworn that he was staring at my lips as I lip synched, but told myself it was just my imagination getting away from me again. His voice was low and rough as he sang the lyrics and slammed the guitar when the chorus came in, his eyes never leaving my face. He ended the song on one powerful last chord and dropped his gaze for the first time in a long time and I was close enough to see his chest heaving up and down as he caught his breath. Emmett closed out the show and I heard the girls around me screaming their names.

"OH MY GOD! I LOVE YOU EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The girl beside me squealed.

"You and me both, sister," I muttered.

I saw him steal a glance in my direction before exiting off stage. People were already starting to clear out and when I realized what I was about to do, a familiar uneasy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach again.

"Ready to go, Bells?" Jake asked, grabbing my hand.

I simply nodded, not trusting my own voice to speak.

We walked in silence and I bit on my thumb nail, messing with my hair in nervousness.

I heard Jacob chuckle beside me. "Are you excited?"

"Yes," I squeaked, my hand flying up to my throat the moment I spoke. I simply heard another quiet chuckle as the stage manager led us into a plush room with comfortable looking couches. I sat down on one hesitantly and Jacob sat beside me, wrapping one arm casually around my shoulders.

"Edward, Emmett and Jacob will be here momentarily." The stage manager said.

I simply nodded my head in understanding. He left and my stomach was churning with nervousness. My leg was shaking and my fingers were alternating between smoothing out the hem of my dress and playing with the ends of my hair.

"Geez, calm down, Bells." Jake said teasingly. "You would think that the FBI was coming to interrogate you or something."

I rolled my eyes at him before continuing my anxious fidgeting.

After a moment, I heard voices coming down the narrow hall and foot steps echoing on the concrete walls.

Then I heard it. That unmistakable velvety voice. I watched as the doorknob twisted in what seemed like slow motion before he entered his back turned to me facing his brothers.

"What the hell is the matter with you two? You're both acting like—" He turned to face the room and I froze. Lost in his hypnotic green eyed gaze again.

He opened his delicious mouth to speak but was interrupted by my big brother.

"BELLA!!!!!" He boomed before snatching me up into a big bear hug. I glanced over at Edward over the top of Emmett's shoulder as he hugged me. My heart melted at the sight of his beautiful face and I was lost in the paradise that was Edward.

* * *

**EPOV**

"Holyshitmotherfucker." I muttered under my breath as my gaze went directly to Bella when Emmett released her. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She looked the same yet so different after four years being without her. My eyes trailed slowly up her body, absorbing every inch of her.

Her long, luxurious legs seemed to go on for miles in the simple black heels she was wearing. Her creamy white skin seemed almost translucent in the dim light of the lounge. My eyes reached the hem of her very short midnight blue dress and lingered on the curvy shape of her thighs and hips. I felt my pants becoming increasingly tighter as my eyes trailed to the flat plane of her stomach and the full shape of her breasts.

Bella had always been beautiful, there was no denying that, but something about her new found womanly curves had made her even more exquisite. I absorbed the skin on her neck that I longed to kiss and finally locked my eyes on her incomparable face. A beautiful blush spread across her cheeks as she ducked her head down when she found me staring.

I smiled crookedly at her only causing her to blush even more, a wide smile spreading across her face. I opened my mouth to try and find words but I was once again interrupted by the tall man I seen with her on the front row.

"You know them, baby?" He asked, glaring at me. The smile I had instantly faded and the twinkle in my eyes disintegrated into nothing. He had called her 'baby.' She was his. And not mine. He was hers. Not me. My heart shattered into pieces.

"Yes, actually I do." Bella said and my heart continued to be stepped on but still continued beating. I just needed to keep hearing Bella's beautiful voice. God, I am such a masochist. I sat down in one of the chairs across from her and my brothers took the other chairs.

"Sure as hell she does!" Emmett exclaimed, beaming at her. Our gaze never faltered and the intensity and passion that flowed through our souls connected into one. God, I loved her so much.

Shit.

_She's not yours. You fucked up, Edward. You're just going to have to deal with the consequences. It's not like she would take you back anyway._

She broke out gaze momentarily so turn to her…boyfriend. I could barely think the word.

"Jake, I went to high school with them. I never really told you…"

"Holy shit, Bells! Why didn't you tell me! We could've gotten in for free…" My eyes snapped to him and a low growl erupted from deep within me. This son-of-a-bitch did NOT deserve Bella.

_Idiot. __**You**__ don't deserve her either. _

She slapped him playfully, a look of adorable frustration on her face.

"Don't mind him." She said.

Emmett smirked and Jasper looked quite entertained as well. "So, Bella…who is this guy? Bella got a boyfriend? Mmm?" Emmett teased her.

She blushed. "Yeah, this is my boyfriend Jake."

"How did you know the words to that last song?" I blurted out, not thinking before I spoke. Idiot. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Everyone's eyes shot to me. "H-how did you know that I knew?" She stuttered her mouth agape.

Fuck. What was I supposed to say? _Oh, funny story. I was just watching you're lips the entire time I was singing thinking about how your lips would feel on mine and how they would feel around my—_

"Yeah, how did you know?" Jasper questioned, raising one eyebrow.

"Umm, well. I just noticed that someone in the front row in a blue dress with some tall guy was mouthing the words to my song that hadn't even been released yet." Wow. That didn't sound creepy at all.

"Oh," She laughed nervously. "Yeah."

"You never answered my question, Bella." Did she hear how her name rolled off my tongue like a caress?

Her cheeks flushed scarlet as I cocked an eyebrow, trying to ignore how painfully tight my pants had become. Praise God the chair had a pillow.

"Well, hehe. Funny story." She began.

"Go on," Jasper encouraged while Jacob, a man I quickly despise, looked on with curiosity.

"Well, you know that fan website, The Cullen Brother's Lexicon?"

We all nodded. It was our most loyal fan base.

"Well, I'm sorta the webmaster of that site and you guys sent me the lyrics…" She muttered to herself.

"No fucking way!" Emmett exclaimed. All three of us exchanged a look and Jasper seemed to be just as surprised as Emmett and I. The webmaster of our most loyal fan base? Had she been keeping up with whatever we happened to be doing on every tour? I hadn't read a lot of the blogs posted by the webmaster, but I was sure as hell going to the moment I could get back to a computer.

"Geez, Bells." Jacob said tersely. "Anything else you want to tell me about?"

I growled internally as my head snapped to him. Bella winced back at his words and my heart broke in two and my hatred for Jacob only grew. Bella did not deserve to be treated in such a manner.

"What she does and does not tell you should be her business and not yours." I found my mouth saying as I took a step forward toward the couple. Bella looked up at me with wide eyes, surprised at my sudden comment.

"It should be business, _Edwin_," He spat. "I've been her boyfriend for two fucking years." My confidence took a blow when he said how long they had been together. My damaged ego must have shown on my face because he smirked cockily at me. I quickly composed myself.

"Boyfriend or not," I began again, taking another step towards him. "She's not your property and will not be treated that way. Understand, mongrel?" My voice was deadly calm and his face flared with intense anger.

I felt a shock course through my body when I felt a small hand placed on my chest. "Boys," She said in a warning tone. "Be nice."

I took a deep breath and stepped away, knowing that if I continued any further, Bella would be upset.

"Aw, Bella." Emmett complained. "It would've been fun watching them fight…" Jasper slapped him over the head and rolled his eyes. Bella smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Baby, I think we should go." Jacob said, never taking his eyes off me.

"Already?" Jasper asked, concern painting his voice.

"Yes. We have a hotel room to go to." Jacob responded, an evil smile on his face.

Bella looked up at him, fearful and her eyes wide with fear. She then looked at me and I noticed the pain and confusion on her beautiful.

"Please," I whispered, my voice in deep pain. "Please don't leave." I couldn't deal with losing her again after all this time. If losing her again didn't kill me. I would surely kill myself.

Jacob's grin only grew wider at my pain. "Yes, it's time to go Bella. We can go and do all of the things you've been wanting to do since you met me. How's that sound? I'll make you scream my name and tell me that your MINE and NO ONE else's."

My eyes snapped up and I growl erupted from deep within my throat as I tried to lunge towards Jacob. I fought against the restraint Jasper and Emmett had on me in my attempt to shred Jacob limb from limb.

"Hang on a sec, Jake," Bella's voice quivered. While Jacob's back was turned to face me I noticed that she had found a napkin and was scribbling on it very quickly. When she was done, she crumpled it in her hand and straightened up. "I'm ready."

Jacob immediately took her other hand in his a dragged her towards the door. "Wait," she said. "Can I at least say good bye to Emmett and Jasper? They were like brothers to me."

"Sure, sure," Jacob said flippantly.

She walked over to us, her eyes locked on mine. She reached up to kiss his cheek. "Goodbye Emmett." She whispered then did the same to Jasper. When she reached me, she simply took my hand in hers and pressed something into my palm. She didn't say or do anything else and I didn't dare open my palm until Jacob was safely out of the room. She then turned to walk away and Jacob grabbed her hand in his then stormed out of the room while Bella gave me one last look of longing before following him out the door.

My head immediately dropped in sorrow.

"Dude, I am so sorry," Emmett placed his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off, just wanting to be alone. I solemnly walked out of the lounge and went out into the emptied arena. My piano had still yet to be packed away off stage so I sat down at the bench and began to play. My voice was pained as I began to sing.

_A hundred days have made me older  
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face  
A thousand lies have made me colder  
And I don't think I can look at this the same  
But all the miles that separate  
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face_

It was just me, and my piano and Bella. Nothing else existed. Not my brothers or my family. Not Jacob or any of Bella's other potential suitors. Not hatred.

_I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah_

_The miles just keep rollin'  
As the people leave their way to say hello  
I've heard this life is overrated  
But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah_

_I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl it's only you and me_

_Everything I know and anywhere I go  
It gets hard but it won't take away my love  
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done  
It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa_

_I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl it's only you and me, yeah oh yeah oh_

I finished the song and sat in silence for a few minutes. I had almost forgotten about the napkin I had placed in my pocket and carefully dug it out to see what message Bella had sent to me. I smoothed out the crumpled paper and there in Bella's clumsy scrawl was the most significant thing in world at that moment.

_596-6974_

My heart stopped beating and I stared that my watch. Time had seemed to stand still, but I realized that it was now nearly two o'clock in the morning. No one was here except my brothers who were probably sleeping on the tour bus. All of the last traces of life were gone from the theater. And I was alone. Again.

I trudged onto the bus and found, as I suspected, my brothers fast asleep. I grabbed my iPhone and dialed Bella's number. It took so much courage for me to press the call button, but after a good ten minutes of weighing the pros and cons, I decided that I should.

I pressed the phone to my ear and waited.

It rang once. Twice. Three times. And a final fourth time before going to her answering machine.

Rejection washed over me. I knew it was irrational. She was probably sleeping…or otherwise…occupied. I growled at the thought of Jacob's crude words to Bella. _She's MINE, you bastard!_ I thought to myself.

Bella's answering machine came on and I had the rare privilege of hearing Bella's sweet voice again before I left my message.

"It's Edward. Call me back at some point. Bye." I murmured stoically into the receiver and ended the call.

I mentally smacked myself in the forehead for even calling her in the first place. I yawned without being tired and I opened my laptop to type in our fan base website.

The Cullen Brother's Lexicon popped up on the screen and I quickly scanned the table of contents until I found the webmaster's blog.

_**Entered June 20, 2009: 8:14 PM.**_

_**Hello, everyone. It's your loyal web mistress again with a very special update. Today, as most of you know, is Edward Cullen's birthday. Now, I've already had my own personal celebration involving the glorious day of that glorious man's birth, but you need to know what we as a fandom are going to do for this incredible man. His absolutely LOVES playing the piano, and plays it amazingly well too. I propose this: We buy Edward a new piano. **_By this point, I had gasped as I continued to read the hypnotizing words._**What do you need to do? Donate. Just donate. It doesn't have to be much. If enough of us pull together I know that we can gather enough money to buy Edward a new piano and to ship it to him hopefully by late August. Help me show him that you guys love him as much as I do!**_

**~The Web Mistress**

I gawked at the screen as I tried to wrap my mind around the paragraph I had just read. I read it again. Once. Twice. Three times. Each time the last sentence said the same thing. "I love you." I took steady breaths and began to read all of the other blog posts from the very beginning. I was captivated by her words and her mind even more so than I had been in high school. It was nearly five o'clock when I finished reading them. I quickly checked my email before shutting my computer down, something I hadn't done in a week.

**Welcome, Edward! You have 1,541 new messages!**

I groaned as I quickly scanned through the hundreds of fan messages and spam until I finally landed on something of importance. I open up the message and gasped as I read the text on the screen

_**Edward,**_

_**On behalf of all of your loyal fans, we have raised enough money to buy you a Steinway Grand Piano! It is being shipped to your home in Hollywood as we speak and should be there when you return from your upcoming concert in New York. It has been a great pleasure running your most loyal fan base for the past four years. Happy belated birthday! **_

_**~ The Web Mistress**_

Bella had done this. My heard soared with pure elation, a feeling I hadn't felt in so long. I smiled softly to myself as I picked up my phone to check for any messages on my phone.

Sure enough, there on the screen the single word "Bella" danced across it, alerting me that I had a new text message. My heard skipped a beat as I opened up the text message, anxious to see what my love had to say.

_Oh, God, Edward. Please help me. Please… _

* * *

**HOW MANY PEOPLE SAW THAT COMING?!?! CLIFFIE!!! hehe. WHAT WILL EDWARD DO?!?!??!?! REVIEW AND I'LL UPDATE FASTER!!!! :D**

**Until I get a lot of reviews...or two Fridays from now,**

**Your Friendly Neighborhood Twilighter,**

**Jessica**

**PS. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HELPED MY ACCOUNT CHANGE!!!**


	6. Forgetting WideEyed Fears

**WHY HELLO THERE!!**

**First of all, I would like to apologize profusely for the shortness of this chapter. This is just something to tide you guys over until I can update again....because it might not be on Friday....I came down with H1N1...aka Swine Flu...and I've been pretty sick and I'll have a TON of school work to catch up on when i get back...so I'm not positive I'll have time to write. so...yeah. Sorry!!**

**I also wanna thank all the peeps that reviewed and added this story to alerts and favorited it! Ya'll are the best!!!! I PROMISE I'LL LIST EVERYONE THAT REVIEWED NEXT TIME I POST!!! THANKS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT. I just add to Edward's Angst. :D**

**READ ON READERS. Read on.**

* * *

**Song of the Chapter: All I Ask Of You from Phantom of the Opera**

**No more talk  
of darkness,  
Forget these  
wide-eyed fears.  
I'm here,  
nothing can harm you -  
my words will  
warm and calm you.**

Let me be  
your freedom,  
let daylight  
dry -your tears.  
I'm here,  
with you, beside you,  
to guard you  
and to guide you . . .  


* * *

**EPOV**

My jaw dropped as I tried to process the information on the text message. After reading it for what seemed like the millionth time, I shot up, practically throwing my laptop to the floor. In my haste, I quickly scribbled out a note to my brothers, letting them know that I was gone and would check in later that day. I didn't think as I slammed the door to my Aston Martin V12 Vanquish and sped down the road at impossible speeds.

On one hand, I was furious. I was furious with whatever had happened that had made Bella sound so frantic. Even through just a simple text I could see that. I was furious with Jacob Black. One, for dragging her out of the lounge. _And away from me._ I mentally amended. Two, for speaking about Bella in such graphic terms. _Bastard._ And I had the sneaking suspicion that he was some how involved with Bella's mayhem. But most of all I was furious with myself for letting her out of my sight.

On the other hand, I was frantic. I was scared. I was terrified. I was _not _going to let Bella slip through my fingers again now that I had a second chance at my otherwise miserable life. My phone beeped again and I nearly swerved off the road when I realized it was Bella. It was a message telling me her location. I had been so panicked that I didn't even know where I was going.

I turned sharply onto the street and stopped on a dime, mentally thanking my excellent braking system. I looked up to see what hotel it was. It was the hotel I was staying at. I stormed up through the revolving doors, ignoring the stares I was getting. I tapped my foot impatiently on the floor of the elevator and practically sprinted to Bella's room.

"702, 704," I muttered to my self. "706." I gathered myself and knocked as lightly as my clenched fist could. My more logical side told me that pounding on the door a six in the morning would not help anything.

After a few moments, it surprised me to see Alice answer the door. Her panda eyes that were black with runny mascara and eyeliner were just as frightened as mine were. She gave me a heartrending look.

"Alice?" I asked, my voice strained with agony.

"Edward," I heard Bella cry out. I practically pushed Alice out of the way to see my Bella. I looked around the large suite, and my heart broke when my eyes landed on my angel distraught with pain and agony. I rushed over to her and wrapped her up in my arms, cradling her to my chest. I felt her sob into my shirt.

"Oh, Edward," she breathed between sobs as she clenched my shirt in her fists, holding me to her. I stroked her hair repeatedly, whispering soothingly to her.

"Bella, my Bella, its okay. I'm here now. I'm here. Nothing is going to happen to you. I'll protect you." I whispered in her ear. Her wild heart beat seemed to calm a little but sobs wracked her body as she curled into me.

"Edward," she sobbed.

"Yes, love. Yes, sweetheart. Anything." I whispered back, rubbing circles on her back with my fingers.

"Please," she buried her face into my shirt. "Please don't leave…" She pleaded in a whisper.

I held her tighter and whispered fiercely in her ear, "I won't, love. I won't." I swore.

"Edward, it hurts so much," She whispered after a few moments.

It pained me to see her like this. Never in my life had I seen someone besides myself in so much pain. I just couldn't fathom what kind of monster would inflict this kind of pain on such a sweet, innocent, unselfish, beautiful, wonderful, incomparable person.

_You managed to do it, bastard._ I thought to myself.

"What hurts Bella? Tell me what hurts." I begged her. She needed to tell me. I had to help her.

"Everything, Edward," She barely whispered as a new bout of sobs shook her body.

My heart ached for this woman in my arms as she wept. I rubbed my hand up and down her back softly, as not to hurt her and let her bury her face in my shoulder, soaking it with her salty tears.

"Bella," I whispered in her ear after what seemed like hours of holding her when her tears had calmed down. "Bella, what happened? I can't help you unless you tell me what's wrong. I'm here. You don't have to be afraid of anything. I'll protect you." I cooed soothingly.

"Jacob," She uttered into my chest. I stiffened immediately while my nostrils flared in anger.

"What happened, Bella? What did Jacob do?" I finally managed to ask.

"He…he…" She whispered as tears ran down her face. What could he have possibly done to make her feel that way? Much to my dismay, I could see how much he loved her by the way he looked at her, the way he touched her. It was always so reverent. Just like I looked at her. Just like I touched her.

"He what?" I asked, on edge with anticipation.

She buried her face farther into my shirt and muttered something that I couldn't make out.

"What was that, sweetheart?" I whispered.

"He…"

* * *

**hehe. cliff hanger. LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!**

**Until I'm Swine FLu Free,**

**Your Friendly Neighborhood Twilighter,**

**Jessica**


	7. Hanging By A Flashback

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT...HOWEVER...I DO own a tube of superglue! (I know...be jealous :D)**

**WHY HELLO THERE. **

**So, I know it's not Friday....but HEY, at least you guys are getting an update this week. :) So, I got over my Swine Flu last week thanks for the get well wishes guys! Love you guys! So, this chapter is angsty and fluffy and kinda sexy too! so there's something for everybody!!!! **

**Okay now to the thank you's! To Delia Blythe! YOU'RE AWESOME!!!! your reviews always make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. LOL. to the every faitful ritarocks....you're INCREDIBLY MINDBOGGLINGLY FANTASTIC!!! you're edward cookies are in the mail :D and to SILLYWRITER101!!! you're reviews totally make my day!!! and to AmethystEyes0...i'm not saying anything else cuz i know you. haha. thank her...she edits all my stuff at school :D**

**So, the italics in this chapter are kinda confusing....so just PM or something with any questions. :) **

**by the way, check out my blog www(dot)guardianangelsandburyinghatchets(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**I just rant on and on and on about my pathetic life...but I think its entertaining :D haha. **

**ANYWAY**

**READ ON, READERS. READ ON. **

* * *

**Song of the Chapter: Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse**

**Desperate for changing  
Starving for truth  
I'm closer to where I started  
Chasing after you  
I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held onto  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you**

**

* * *

**

**BPOV**

_***FLASHBACK*** _

"_Hang on a sec, Jake," I told him, my voice quivering. Jake nodded curtly before locking his gaze with Edward's. I gave Jasper and Emmett a frantic look before searching for something to write on. I found a scrap of a napkin and quickly scrawled my number on the paper before straightening up. "I'm ready." I said, trying desperately to keep my voice even. He smirked and grabbed my hand pulling me toward the door. _

"_Wait," I said and he glanced at me quizzically, raising one eyebrow. "Can I at least say good bye to Emmett and Jasper? They were like brothers to me." _

"_Sure, sure." Jake said flippantly. _

_I took a deep breath before locking my gaze with Edward's worried and furious expression. My neck craned up to kiss Emmett's cheek. I whispered my good byes to both of them. I reached my only love and took his hand in mine, relishing in the shock that sparked when our skin made contact, and pressed the napkin into his palm, resisting the urge to kiss him like I had been dying to all night. My eyes pleaded with him to understand as I turned away and walked with torpor towards Jake. _

_He grabbed my hand again and dragged me out the door, but I was able to hold one last look of longing on the worried face of an angel. _

"_Jake, what the hell?" I demanded as he continued pulling me outside the building. All of a sudden he spun me around and pressed me into the concrete wall, his eyes pitch black. _

"_You're not going anywhere." He growled menacingly. _

*END FLASHBACK*

"He what?" I heard a velvety voice whisper. "Bella, please tell me."

I felt tears flowing freely down my face as I sobbed into his chest. Edward. Edward was with me. I could feel his muscular arms wrapped tightly around me. I could feel the heat radiating from his solid chest that my head rested on. His sweet scent overwhelmed me as I gasped for air, soaking his shirt with my salty tears. I remained silent, not being able to find my voice. His hand stroked up and down my back softly and I felt it move to the side to my waist, gripping it lightly.

Incomprehensible fear and pain shot up my spine when he touched my waist, a disturbing collage of images invaded my mind, and suddenly it wasn't Edward that was with me.

"No! Stop! Let me go! Please, I'm begging you….please, don't hurt me," I shouted, pulling away from the touch violently, and shooting across the room into the bathroom. Realization hit me when I sank down to the cold tile floor. Jacob wasn't here. I had just run away from the one person I should be running to, craving his embrace like I craved oxygen. I buried my face into my knees and cried again in the overwhelming guilt I was now feeling. I heard a soft knock on the door and moments later, Alice emerged into the bathroom, her eyes brimming with tears again as she took in my weeping form. Without a word, she slid to the floor beside me and hugged my tightly, waiting for my crying to cease.

"H-he's going to hate me now," I sniffled. "He'll never want me anymore…" Silent tears dripped down my cheeks at the realization. She pulled away to look into my face.

"Bella," She said confidently. I looked up at her, confused at her conviction. When I met her gaze, she hesitated for a moment, then sighed and shook her head. "Nothing. It's nothing."

My brow furrowed in confusion, but composed my facial expression just as quickly as she had composed hers. "Where's Edward?" I asked, my voice still soft, bring my voice to say his name.

"He left the room to give you more privacy. I assume he's standing right outside in the hall." Alice whispered.

I nodded my head slowly, wishing the silence that filled the room wasn't so loud. It felt like hours before Alice spoke again.

"Bella, are you hurt?" She asked suddenly concerned with my physical condition rather than my mental condition. Her question brought me to the reality of the situation I was in, and I quickly moved my limbs around, not surprised to find them moderately sore. I nodded my head, wincing at the pain throbbing in my head.

_***FLASHBACK***_

"_I said SHUT UP, bitch!" He screamed at me, slamming my head into the wall. "I told you not to fucking scream! Now, you'll pay…" _

_***END FLASHBACK*** _

"No, no! Please, don't hurt me…please! I'll do whatever you want…just please, stop." I screamed out, covering my ears with my hands as an invisible voice whispered in my ear.

_You're going to fucking pay Bella. _It told me._ You're mine._

"Please…"_ I whispered to it. _

_I'm going to make you scream. _The menacing voice whispered again.

"Please…don't hurt me again…I'm begging you," My voice was trembling as tears ran down my face again.

_Oh, my little naïve Bella._ It cooed mockingly.

"Stop! Edward, help me!" I screamed.

_Edward can't save you now. _The voice chuckled cynically, mocking my every wish, my every need.

"Damn it, Alice! Open the fucking door!" I heard a distant velvety voice furiously seethe.

_No one can save you now. You're trapped inside your mind with me forever. I've ruined you for all others. No one will ever want you again. No one will ever want a filthy piece of sh—_

"Bella!" Edward's voice enveloped my ears, wafting into my chaotic mind and shutting down the menacing voice completely. My eyes were still clamped shut and my fingers wrapped around my ears in an effort to stop the horrific ringing still taking place.

"Edward," I begged silently. I felt myself being wrapped up into his warm embrace and being lifted out of the room as I clutched his shirt with all of my remaining strength.

_He'll never want you…_ It barely whispered, and I clutched myself tighter to his chest as he laid me down on the bed.

"Bella, love, its okay…" Edward whispered in my ear.

There is was again. He called me 'love.' The logical side of my brain told me that it was simply a casual term of endearment. But I wanted so badly to believe he meant what he was saying, the notion brought fresh tears to my eyes.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," he cooed. "Please forgive me…I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to scare you,"

I felt my back being pressed to the mattress and the weight of Edward rolling to the side of my quivering body. I felt him pull me into his strong chest and cradle me close to his warm body, enclosing his arms around me. I buried my face in his chest and slowly calmed down again while I breathed in his deliciously sweet scent. I closed my eyes and drifted away. A place where I was clean. A place where I wasn't tainted. A place where he loved me. And with that thought, I lazily dozed off into a deep sleep.

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**EPOV**

This was both the best and worst night of my life.

Though, here, in this bed, with this woman that I had loved since the moment I had laid eyes on her, I couldn't seem to find the problem with this whole situation. My tear stained shirt reminded me otherwise. I buried my face against the top of her head and breathed her freesia scent in greedily. It was like an oasis in the middle of a fiery hot desert and my lifeless body taking its first sip in years. I would've beyond ecstatic if the situation we were in weren't so grave. She had screamed and fled from me when I had simply placed my hands on her waist.

I cringed inwardly and stroked the length of her luxurious hair repeatedly as she slept soundlessly.

"I love you, Bella. I always have. I always will." I whispered to her sleeping form. I wanted to see her peaceful face. I wanted to trace her elegant features with my finger tip when there was no line creasing the smooth skin of her forehead with worry. I wanted to kiss her slowly, gently, passionately and try to assuage the pain welled up inside her. But most of all, in that moment, I wanted so badly kill the motherfucking bastard that had hurt her so deeply. I nearly growled at the thought.

_Hey_, The monster inside me shrugged. _At least you got her in bed with you._

I shot the monster a fearsome glare at its crude comment. _Shut the fuck up_. I mentally chastised it.

Bella stirred lightly beside me, and I loosened my grip on her to give her room to move. She moved to lie on her back but turned her head so it was leaned toward me. Her tiny fingers still clutched my shirt and I propped up on my elbow to really gaze at her for the first time in so long. Streaks of mascara had dried on her cheeks from crying. Her pale skin was flushed slightly, reminded me fondly of the scarlet blush that had once graced her delicate cheeks. Her long lashes brushed lightly against her cheek bones, hiding her hypnotizing chocolate eyes from me. Her full, pouty lips were parted as steady breaths pulsed in and out threw her mouth. I clenched my fists to stop myself from caressing her gently and risk waking her up. I pressed my lips into a tight line to prevent myself from kissing her incredibly tempting lips.

"Edward," She mumbled dreamily. My eyes widened at the sound of my name. Her eyes were still closed, so I assumed she was still asleep when she spoke again. "Mmmm…Edward…"

My heart stopped then sputtered wildly in my chest. A small smiled graced her lips as she turned back into my body with a sleepy sigh. I exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding in and sighed happily as I buried my face into her hair and found sleep easily take me into a place where she loved me.

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**BPOV**

Light poured through the curtains and I squinted my eyes as they adjusted to the new light being shed into this unfamiliar room. I yawned and stretched my arms to find that they hit something solid very close to my body. Images came flooding back to me of the night before.

Walls. Slamming. Crashing. Fear. Sullied. Pain.

I squinted my eyes tightly to try to keep the pain away as a shudders wracked body repeatedly as I tried to bury myself into the soft bed beneath me. All of a sudden, I was being cradled by someone behind me, and a soft, velvety voice crooned softly in my ear.

"Bella, my Bella, it's alright," He whispered. "I'm here."

Edward.

I had been so sure that it had been a dream. That he had been a dream. But now, with his arms around me, his soothing voice whispering in my ear, his heady scent assaulting my nose, I knew he wasn't just a figment of my imagination. I turned into his body immediately and buried my face into his shirt, inhaling his scent greedily.

He smelled just like he used to smell; like the fresh, clean air that only occurs right after a big rainstorm. Like orange blossoms and something that was just…Edward. That intoxicating smell I would suffocate myself in. I felt him nuzzle the top of my head with his nose and sigh into my hair. How many times had I dreamed of this happening? Too many to count. Time no longer existed. We could've been wrapped up in each other for mere minutes. Hours. Days.

"Bella, are you okay?" He whispered in to my hair, sending shivers down my spine.

I frowned at his question. Was I okay? Probably not. But here, in his arms, I couldn't seem to remember my problems or my pain or my worries. All I could think about, was Edward.

I nodded into his body and felt him start to pull away. I pushed myself closer to him, gripping his t-shirt, affectively securing his body to mine. I felt him chuckle musically and my smile brightened at the soft sound.

"Bella," He whispered in my ear. "I'm sure I am disgusting having not taken a shower last night and I'm sure you don't want to bear smelling me anymore. I'll be quick, I promise."

I deliberated for a moment, then let him go with a dramatic sigh.

I gazed up at his face and noticed that his eyes were tired, with heavy bags beneath them, but his smile was warm as he leaned down to my level.

"I'll be back before you know it," He promised before kissing my forehead and scurrying off into the bathroom.

I gasped softly at the electricity his lips had sparked against my skin when he kissed me. My hand went to my forehead and lightly touched the skin there, reveling at the tingling sensation throughout my body. I heard the shower head turn on and I laid back and closed my eyes to listen to more.

I surprised myself by imagining Edward strip down and climb into the shower, the hot water scalding his body. I heard a low moan coming from the bathroom right on cue and a pang of desire shot down my spine at the thought. Edward's tense muscles would relax as the powerful stream of scorching water pounded against his back. His head would droop down as he would lean his hand against the shower wall for support, tendrils of his silky bronze hair would plaster against his forehead. Another low moan would escape his parted lips.

"Bella," I heard him groan out.

My heart sputtered wildly in my chest and a breathy moan of my own escaped my lips. "Dear God…" I breathed when I heard the shower turn off.

"Damn it! Ouch!" I heard Edward grunt. Worried, I jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. My hand rose to knock on the door.

"Ed—" I started as I was about to pound on the door to see what was wrong.

The door flung open and I found myself standing mere inches away from a half-naked Greek god. His face was just as shocked as mine and I muttered my apology before turning and fleeing toward the bed room. I laid back on the fluffy comforter and waited patiently, my face tomato red from the encounter. The door clicked open and I sat up, expecting to find Edward fully clothed.

I was completely wrong.

My jaw hung open lazily as I took in his dripping form. Clad in only a white towel wrapped dangerously low on his waist, exposing the "v" that led down below the towel, Edward stood at the foot of the bed, running his fingers through his wet hair sheepishly. My eyes traveled up to his abdomen while droplets of water traveled down to the waist of the towel as I ogled him shamelessly, licking my lips as my eyes traveled further north. His perfect chest and broad shoulders were dotted with beads of water that ran down the length of his lean, yet muscular body. My eyes finally met his incomparable face. The strong line of his jaw was covered in stubble from the night before. His soft, full lips were parted slightly, sending another pang of desire through my body as I remembered the fantasy I had been having just moments before. His bronze hair was darkened with water as it dripped down his high cheekbones and over his parted lips. And his eyes. His usually bright green eyes were now darkened into a deep forest green as he watched me intently. They seemed to bore right through me and I noticed lick his own lips as I licked mine. He had been watching me the entire time.

I blushed and looked away, suddenly embarrassed of my blatant ogling. Just seconds later, I felt him climb onto the bed with me.

"Bella," he whispered as he coaxed my chin up with his fingertips. "Don't be embarrassed." He soothed.

I finally allowed my eyes to meet his now soft gaze and a smile graced my lips when I saw his own embarrassment in his eyes. He cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly at me.

"I guess I better go get dressed, huh?"

I simply nodded, not trusting my voice to speak.

"Why don't you go take a shower, too?" He asked with uncertainty. "Then we can head out, okay?"

My ears perked up as I processed what he was saying. "Head out?" I asked. "Where are you going?"

"On tour," He stated simply.

My heart sank immediately when I realized he was leaving me again. Deep down, I should've known that he only felt sorry for me. He didn't really love me. And of course he had to go on tour. He was, after all, a famous musician. He would never cancel his tour for me. Foolish tears ran down my cheeks and I looked down again.

I felt my chin being lifted immediately. "Bella," he whispered. "I'm not going anywhere without you. Please believe me. Please come with me. Of course I can't force you to come with me. You have every right to make your own decisions, but I just thought that you would want to come with—"

I smiled brightly again and pressed one finger to his luscious lips, cutting off his adorable babbling. "Of course I want to come with you, Edward." I whispered with conviction.

He smiled crookedly against my finger then pulled away from my hand. "Then I suggest that you shower and get dressed. I already extended check-out time and Jasper and Emmett will be here with the tour bus in a couple of hours. Alice is already with them. I could order you some room service if you want."

I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Edward. For everything." I murmured.

"Anything for you, Bella." He replied simply. "Speaking of which, what would you like to eat? I'm sure it will be no problem to get whatever you wanted."

I smiled at his thoughtfulness, then suddenly remembered what I had eaten on our first date. "Do you think they have mushroom ravioli?" I asked softly, peeking up at his face to see if he remembered.

A wide smile broke out across his face in recognition. "I'm sure they do. It probably won't be as good as _Bella Italia's_, but it should suffice." He smiled crookedly at me. He remembered. My heart did flips in my chest. "I'll go order that and get dressed. You go take a shower, and everything will be ready when you return."

I smiled up at him. "Thank you, Edward." His kissed my forehead.

"Once again, anything for you, Bella." He responded before climbing off the bed and walking toward the phone to call room service.

I hopped off the bed, and entered the still steamy bathroom and stared at my abnormally happy expression in the mirror. I noticed a bright pink sticky note on top of a pile of clothes on the counter.

_Bella—_

_Just something I picked out for you. I'll see you on the tour bus!_

_Love, Alice _

Not even bothering to look at the clothes, I stripped down and climbed into the shower, letting the hot water cleanse me. Hot water pounded against my skin as I lathered strawberry shampoo into my hair before rinsing the suds out and hopping out of the shower. I wrapped a towel tightly around my body, grabbed the clothes on the counter and exited the bathroom, feeling refreshed.

Edward was strumming on a guitar when I found him in the bedroom, now fully clothed. "Desperate for changing, starving for truth," I heard him sing softly. I stepped back so I could listen to the voice of an archangel. "Closer than where I started, chasing after you. I'm falling even more in love with you, I'm letting go of all I've held onto," He cut off suddenly. "Bella?" He called out.

I stuck my head out and smiled sheepishly at him. "Sorry," I murmured. "I was listening to you sing," I admitted.

He smiled warmly at me. "It's something that I've had running through my head all night. It's a work in progress. But I think I have it all in my head somewhere."

I stepped out completely into the bedroom and I saw Edward's eyes widen as they scanned up and down my body slowly. I blushed violently, remembering that I was still in only a towel and rushed off into the bathroom to change.

I quickly slipped on the skinny jeans and the deep blue v-neck sweater, shaking my hair out before going out of the bathroom again. When I stepped into the bedroom, Edward's eyes met mine and he breathed a sigh of relief before he started again.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he began. "That was not gentlemanly at all."

I smiled at his sincerity. "There is no need to apologize, Edward. If I remember correctly, what I did was not very ladylike either." I looked down and blushed slightly recalling Edward shirtless.

After a moment, Edward cleared his throat and spoke again. "Your meal is in the living area, I made sure to keep it warm."

I smiled and walked over to take his hand in mine, once again reveling at the shock that coursed through my body at even the most chaste touch and pulled him to the couch in the living room area of our suite. The mushroom ravioli was placed on the coffee table and as soon as I took the first bite, I moaned in satisfaction, not realizing how hungry I had been. After another few bites, I looked over at Edward who was staring at my mouth, his lips parted ever so slightly. I smiled slyly and took another purposeful bite and moaned again, this time a bit louder, glancing over at Edward through the corner of my eye.

His mouth fell open a little more and he shifted around uncomfortably from his spot on the couch. I speared the last of my ravioli and ate it with deliberate slowness, making sure to chew slowly and elicit soft moans as I chewed. When I had finished, I set the fork on the plate and looked over at Edward, who was running his fingers through his already unruly hair, a frustrated look on his face.

"That was really good." I told him.

He smiled a tight smile. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." He replied.

I feigned worry. "What's wrong, Edward?"

He took a deep breath, composing himself before responding. "Nothing, Bella. I promise." He stated before kissing my forehead. "Are you ready to go?"

I nodded and stood up. "Yes, are you?"

He nodded as well. "Then shall we head out?" He held his hand out for me to take and I eagerly locked our fingers together. He smiled genuinely this time and gently pulled me toward the hotel door, grabbing the room key off the glass end table by the door. He unlocked the latch on the door and opened it for me as he followed me out the door. Hand in hand, we walked toward the elevators. As we rounded the corner, flashes blinded my vision as loud voices started calling out Edward's name.

Cameras flashed around us, taking picture after picture.

"Edward! Can you tell us about the tour?" "Edward! Who's the girl?" "Edward!" "Edward!" Edward!" They all shouted.

More images of the night before that my mind had repressed came flooding to my mind.

Throbbing bass music. Stairs. Walls. Crashing. Slamming. Fear. Pain.

I whimpered softly, so only Edward could hear it and his gaze snapped to me immediately. My eyes closed tightly and I felt myself being lifted up and carried swiftly down the hall and through a door. I clutched his shirt tightly as I was vaguely aware that we were going down a set of stairs.

"_See? I told you you couldn't escape me."_

* * *

**WELL?!?! What'd you guys think?! I'm dying to know!!!! By the way, Bella's dress and all of the songs I've used in the chapters are up on my profile in case you didn't know.**

**_IMPORTANT: I'M PROBABLY GOING TO CHANGE THE TITLE OF THE STORY TO "Faithfully". As you guys probably know, I'm a bit obsessed with music so yes, You Found Me is named after The Fray's song. But I have recently come across a song that I think is ALOT better for this story. It's the 80s classic "Faithfully" by Journey. So lemme know what you guys think and if you guys are okay with it...imma change it :)_ YAY! So....ya...thats pretty much it. :D **

**Until MY BIRTHDAY!!!!**

**You're Friendly Neighborhood Twilighter,**

**Jessica**


	8. I'll Be in a Meteor Shower

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**Okay...I know this is SUPER SUPER SUPER short....but I felt in the mood to write...and this was what came to mind...and what I had time to write in a hour...I totally didn't do my homework just so I could write this. Lol. **

**Thanks to everyone that's still following this story!!! You have no idea how much that means to me...also check out my new story "Concert Master" it'll be good when I really start it.**

**So this chapter is absolutely postively heartwrencing fluff. Like "awwwwwwww" to the 15 billionth power. PLEASE look at the picture I'm gonna post on my profile (it looks EXACTLY like I imagined it) and listen to the song which I'm also going to post on my profile :D GO AND LOOK. It really enhances what you read. So...please do :) **

**Anyway...I'm back (for now) from my brief hiatus...i'm still super busy so don't expect a regular regular update...sorry :(**

**READ ON READERS. (those of you I have left) READ ON. **

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**EPOV**

"Shhh…my Bella," I whispered as I held her. "Everything will be alright, shhh…I promise," I internally hated myself for telling her that, because I had no idea what had happened to her. All I knew was that she had been hurt deeply. And it was all my fault. If I had only been there for her. If I had only stopped her from leaving the lounge. If I had only saved her from Jacob before something terrible happened. She would be alright.

Deep down, I knew I was going to pay for this later. The hole in my tattered heart could only handle so much. I knew that she wasn't returning to me because she loved me. She was only returning to me because she needed someone to hold her. A shoulder to cry on. I wasn't complaining. No, not all. God, I was such a masochist. I rocked her gently back and forth, trying to assuage her. The stairwell was cold and damp, and I foul odor rotted in the air, but I continued to hold her, burying my face in her hair as she buried hers in my chest. I stroked the length of her hair again and again, reveling at the silky texture.

I didn't know if it had been hours or mere minutes since her tears had begun to fall, when she finally spoke with a quivering, angelic voice. "Edward, please. Take me out of here. Please." She whispered.

"Of course, Bella. Anything." I whispered in reply and lifted her effortlessly into my arms, and practically jogged down the stairs until we moved through an exit that lead behind the hotel. Thankful I had my Aston Martin with me; I rushed to the car, carefully avoiding the paparazzi surrounding the lobby of the building. As I opened the door and set Bella in the passenger's seat, making sure she was buckled securely, one of the photographers spotted me.

"There he is!" He shouted and the mass of reporters began to run towards me.

"Damn it," I muttered to myself before rushing to get into my car. I buckled quickly and revved the engine, then sped off away from the hotel. Zero to sixty in five seconds. I smirked to myself, then turned to face Bella, and my smile faded when I caught sight of her expression at my speed. I slowed down immediately and her expression visibly relaxed.

"Bella," I began. "Where do you want to go? We can go anywhere. As close or far as you want. We can meet up with the guys and Alice later. Right now, none of that matters. All I want to know is where you need to be. Say the word and we're there." I told her, peeking at her expression in my peripheral vision. She was smiling softly to herself.

"The only place I need to be is with you." She whispered so softly I wasn't sure I'd heard her correctly. Surely she couldn't believe that.

_Of course she doesn't. She just wants protection, idiot. That's all you are to her. _

"It doesn't matter where we go?" I asked as I sped through the city and the suburbs until I was already in the more rural areas of New York State. She shook her head and smiled tentatively. I immediately knew where I wanted to take her. But I would never do something without her permission.

"Bella?" I inquired softly.

She looked up at me and smiled. "Yes, Edward?" I loved the way my name rolled across her tongue like a caress. The way only a person in love could speak their lover's name. I shook the thought out of my mind before it fed the already festering wound in my chest.

"Can I take you some where? I understand if you don't…." I took a deep breath. "If you don't…trust me. I'll take you back to Alice if that's what you want." I kept my eyes on the road, afraid of her reaction.

"Edward, pull over." She said suddenly, with such a commanding tone. "Now."

I was shocked…and terrified of what she was going to tell me. I pulled over and stopped the car, hanging my head in shame and clasping my hands together. I didn't dare look up at her.

"Edward," She whispered placing a delicate finger beneath my chin and tilting my face up to meet her gaze. Her molten eyes were smoldering with ardent passion as she whispered the next words. "Of course I trust you. I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't. Wherever you want to go, I'll follow you if you let me."

"Of course, I'll let you. You're coming on tour with me." I gave a little half smile before looking up at her again through my lashes. "Can I take you the place where I want to go now, love?"

She smiled gently at me. "Of course."

I smiled at her before pulling back onto the road and heading off to the place I had been once before the last time I was in New York. I peered out my window and into the sky, painted vibrantly with the setting sun. I mentally sighed with relief. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Perfect. I turned off the freeway and onto a rural two-lane highway, with ancient trees arching over the road. I breathed another sigh of relief when I recognized these land marks as I continued to speed down the road.

I saw a break in the trees ahead and immediately recognized the blind dirt road that lead to the clearing. It was twilight now, and the road was dark ahead of us.

"Where are we, Edward?" She asked, breaking the silence, quiet anxiety evident in her voice.

"You'll see, love. It's just up ahead." After another few minutes, we finally made it to the dark meadow I had found once before when I needed to get away from the stress of my hectic, chaotic life. I immediately killed the engine, effectively cutting off the headlights.

I quickly got out and opened the door for her before she could open it herself, and took her hand in mine, a spark igniting where our skin touched then burned throughout my body. Judging by the way she was looking down at our entwined fingers, I knew she could feel it too. The night was peaceful. The only sound was of the tree frogs croaking in the mild fall night.

I gently tugged on her hand and pulled her through the scarce brush that stood in the way of the meadow, making sure she didn't stumble along the way. When we were out of the forest area, I squinted my eyes enough to make out the large oak tree in the middle of the clearing.

"Edward…I…" She gasped, taking in the scene around her.

I pressed one finger to her lips. "Shh, follow me." She nodded silently as I led her to the tree, and then sat down on the soft, slightly damp grass, tugging her with me. Once she had sat down I laid back, willing her to follow my lead, satisfied when she did and then gazed up at the night sky above us. The deep blue sky was crystal clear, making the stars completely visible to us. We were our far enough to where the lights of the city that never sleeps didn't prevent us from seeing them. The full moon shone down upon us like a spotlight, illuminating Bella's porcelain skin, making her even more breathtaking. Her small body shifted beside me and I turned my gaze to her, lifting my eyebrows in question.

"What is it, Bella?" I whispered, eyeing her curiously as she bit her lip and glanced down at my chest.

"Um, can I?" She nodded her head to my chest, and I realized what she wanted. I smiled lovingly at her and simply nodded, not wanting to break the silence.

She smiled at me before lowering her head to my chest, and curling into my body. Her body flush against mine felt incredible and I immediately wrapped my arms around her and played absentmindedly with a few strands of her hair and sang softly.

"The strands in your eyes, color them wonderful, stop me and steal my breath," I breathed. "Emeralds from mountains, thrust towards the sky, never revealing their depth. And tell me that we belong together, dress it up with the trappings of love. I'll be captivated. I'll hang from your lips, instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above," I sang one of my earliest songs.

"And I'll be," She sang and my breath caught in my throat. Her voice was like an archangel.

"Your crying shoulder. I'll be love suicide." I finished.

"And I'll be, better when I'm older. I'll be the greatest fan of your life." We sang together, ending in a whisper before I hummed as I traced the features of her face. Her breath caught in her throat and she whispered in a shaking voice.

"Edward, look up,"

I reluctantly tore my eyes away from her face and looked toward the sky and stifled a gasp as I looked. What seemed like thousands of suns falling from orbit streaked across the sky with brilliant color. The sky that was once dotted with millions upon millions of solitary, unmoving stars, was now bustling with light and fiery streaks across the sky. I couldn't have chosen a better night. A meteor shower. Thousands of shooting stars. Thousands of wishes to be made. And I didn't need any of them.

I had everything I had ever wanted, ever needed, right here in my arms.

I would never need anything else for as long as I lived. I didn't need heaven, if I could have Bella.

There was only one problem.

She could never know.

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**Is that not the most romantic thing like EVER?!?! I've always wanted to do that and bless the guy that finally decides to....hopefully. :( I'll keep my hopes up. Those of you that review will recieve a sneak peak of the next chapter if you so request it :D Just give a day to reply..cuz I'll be at school. lol. **

**Review!!!! **

**Until...well I don't know exactly when...**

**Your Friendly Neighborhood Twilighter,**

**Jessica **


	9. Scars

OMG i'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!!! School has been SUPPPPPPPPERRRRRRRRRRRRR busy and with everything else going on in my life I just haven't had time to write for a while....but hopefully this chapter makes up for it...at least a little...I spent all day today writing...and betaing since my NEW BETA went MIA....SILLYWRITER101...I love her to death...she's what made my uber long one-shot "Heaven" so successful!!! If you haven't checked it out....YOU SHOULD!!! All though I do warn you, every person that has read it so far has cried...which was exactly my intent :D Hah.

**So for those of you that need a refresher:**

**Edward's in a band with Jasper and Emmett. Bella's a senior at Dartmouth with a boyfriend named Jacob Black. Edward's depressed. Bella's depressed. They are still in love with each other, but think the other hates their guts. Jake takes Bella to a Cullen Brother's Band concert for their anniversary...sparks fly...they reunite...but not fully when Jacob storms out, Bella in tow and does something which has not yet been revealed to her...Edward and Bella get away to the meadow and that's where we leave off! **

**READ THE AUTHORS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM!!! **

**But for now....READ ON READERS, READ ON.**

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**BPOV**

The shining light of the full moon illuminating the smooth skin of Edward's face paired with the shooting stars that made his emerald eyes sparkle like the precious gems they were, was almost too surreal for me to handle. I had been hesistant pushing the physical boundries, even if they were incredibly minute. But there was something so right about the way the curves of my body fit so perfectly against his.

I never wanted this moment to end. My head was resting lightly on his flawless chest, covered by only a thin black t-shirt. I could feel his heart thumbing steadily where my ear rested over his heart, my head rising and falling ever so slightly with his deep breaths. Unconsciously, my breathing matched his and in that moment it was as if we were one person, two souls dwelling in one body.

The connection was so real and deep, I couldn't resist wrapping my arm around his muscled torso and pulling myself closer. I felt his breathing hitch before settling into that same calming rhythm again with an audible sigh. Slowly, one arm wrapped around my waist while the other one stroked the length of my hair. I snuggled my way closer to his body as wordless conversation filled the silence. We watched as the stars continued to fall from the sky in a flurry of lights.

I smiled softly to myself and buried my face further into his chest, silently overjoyed that I was able to do this simple gesture without having any flashbacks. In light of the…events that occurred two nights ago, I thought that I would never be able to enjoy the company of someone else so much without being frightened. But something about Edward kept me perfectly calm and collected. It could be a number of determining qualities, all of which seemed completely possible.

His gentle caress. The smooth tips of his fingers that were slightly calloused from playing his guitar for so long. His rich, velvety voice that could sooth the soul of anyone with just one word. His relaxing aroma. But most of all, I think it was my undying love for him that kept me calm.

"Bella?" I heard him whisper into my hair.

"Mm?" I responded drowsily.

"As much as I don't want to ever leave this spot, I must tell you that it's getting late. We can meet up with Alice, Emmett and Jasper at the place where the tour bus is. Or we can be alone if you prefer. It really doesn't matter. Whatever y—" I silenced him quickly by placing a finger on his soft lips and smiled gently.

He smiled crookedly against my finger making my heart jump in its chest. "We can go wherever is closest. I'm exhausted." I whispered back once my heart was thoroughly dazzled, taking my finger off his lips.

"The tour bus is about two hours away from here, but they won't leave in the morning until we get there. However, there is a loft about twenty minutes away. My brothers and I had wanted a small place whenever we were in New York to get away from the paparazzi and such." He chuckled quietly. "The complex is small and very new, so there are no neighbors to harass us. Is that okay?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

I smiled gently. "Of course. Let's go." I said before reluctantly removing my head from his chest. He was up on his feet, holding out his hand for me in a very gentlemanly gesture before I had even had time to adjust my clothes and sit up completely. I took his hand and reveled once again at the shock that coursed through my body at his touch.

Once I was on my feet, I took one last longing look at the gorgeous meadow and then tilted my head up towards the sky to take in the constellations before closing my eyes and inhaling the clean, rural air once last time.

"I'll take you here again. I promise." I felt Edward's breath against my ear and involuntarily leaned back into him. I heard his breathy moan and I snapped my eyes open and immediately leaned off of him, silently whimpering from the loss of contact. I looked at him incredulously but he just responded with a sheepish smile and his head dropping to his feet.

"Sorry," He murmured quietly, looking incredibly adorable from embarrassment of his quiet outburst. My heart warmed as a soft smile broke out across my face.

"There's nothing to apologize for," I told him simply as I kissed his cheek softly. My fingers slipped between his and locked themselves there. He gasped at the shock that came from out skin-to-skin contact and snapped his eyes up to meet mine, smiling crookedly and grasping my fingers, squeezing lightly.

We made our way back to his car, our hands entwined in each other's, electricity pulsing through my body. He held the door open for me, and I blushed at the chivalrous gesture and sighed reluctantly when he let go of my hand to get in the driver's seat only to grasp it again once we were on the highway heading to our destination. The only sound in the car was the purr of the engine as we sped down the empty asphalt and the soft croon of the radio.

"What are you thinking?" He suddenly asked, snapping me out of my reverie.

Just as he spoke the words, his angelic voice came over the radio, causing a wide grin stretch across my face. "I'm thinking that I love this song." I replied.

He cocked his head to the side and listened carefully for a minute before grinning. "This one's my favorite." He glanced over at me.

"I will never let you fall…I'll stand up with you forever…I'll be there for you through it all; even if saving you sends me to Heaven." He sang softly. A single happy tear escaped my eye and I brushed it away before he could see. It didn't escape his notice. I listened to the song as he sang with it.

"It's okay. It's okay…It's okay…" He sang again, rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand. I smiled up at him, just absorbing the incredibly surreal moment.

"You know where I got the chords for this song?" He inquired softly.

I shook my head and told him I didn't.

His lips pulled up at the corners as he began again. "You were fooling around in my room on my guitar the Saturday after the talent show. Just picking on the strings. You didn't know I was there. I had gone downstairs to grab us something to drink and when I headed back upstairs, I heard you playing and humming quietly. I had never heard you play before, so I was anxious to hear you. I was blown away at what I heard. The voice that could put angels to shame and the right chord combinations to make me almost weep at its sheer, simple beauty.

Since that day, I worked on the chords, trying to duplicate the chords that you had played. I wrote lyrics. I labored over that song. Never expecting you to ever hear it. It was from me to you. You and only you."

Tears were flowing down my face at this point as he finished his explanation, my heart pounding so hard in my chest I thought it would surely break through my ribs with pure love for the man sitting next to me.

"Edward," I tried to speak as we pulled in the parking lot of the complex he had talked about.

"Shh, love." He smiled at me and kissed my forehead, seeming to know what I was feeling. "Let's go," he whispered softly to me.

His fingers slid between mine as he led me through the lobby, nodding in recognition to the doorman who greeted Edward politely. Stepping into the elevator, Edward's hand never left mine as he simply smiled down at me before we got off the elevator on the top floor. The warm beige carpeting lined the halls where the deep burgundy walls met the crown molding. The lighting in the narrow hallway was bright, but not harsh just as it was in the hallway. The soft tinkling of laughter coming from the first door comforted me in the otherwise silent corridor. Although, the warmth radiating from Edward's hand was enough to comfort me in a way that only it could.

We finally reached the end of the hall where a door simply marked "210" stood. Edward dug out his key with a smile on his face as he unlocked the door and entered the dark room. He fumbled around for the light switch and when he finally flipped it on, I gasped softly at the loft.

The whole loft was wide and open and very cool from being uninhabited for so long. There were two steps that led down into the sunken living room which was extremely stylish, yet very homey. There was a warm, luxurious couch that sat directly facing the a stone wall on which a huge fifty inch plasma screen television hung. Courtesy of Emmett I was sure. Another couch ran adjacent to the first couch a few feet to the left and a glass coffee table sat in front of the two. I meandered over to the table, curious to see what books sat atop the glass.

I chuckled at what I saw, only feeling more at home. A Civil War history book, a copy of _As I Lay Dying_ by William Faulkner, and the December issue of Playboy magazine. I could pinpoint each of the items' owner by just glancing at the title. My fingers ran over the binding of _As I Lay Dying_ as I continued my perusal of the loft. I turned to my right and walked up two more stairs into the state-of-the-art kitchen. The Cullens spared no expense of stainless steel appliances and granite counter tops and rich wooden cabinets. Various kitchen staples hung in a great metal hanger over the top of the stove. I sat down in one of the bar stools that lined the island and glanced around the room, smiling when I caught sight of Edward sit down in the bar stool next to me through my peripheral vision.

"Bella?" I heard him whisper. I turned my head to face him. His lovely face was painted with concern and hesitancy.

I smiled reassuringly at him, placing my hand on the side of his face, stroking the underside of his jaw with my thumb. His eyelids fluttered closed and he sighed quietly, leaning into my hand.

Tears prickled my eyes as I watched his peaceful countenance. The silence was deafening, yet I was afraid to break it. The moment would be shattered completely the second one of us spoke. But I knew I had to broach the topic, because he was too afraid of hurting me to broach it himself. To be honest, I was completely terrified of telling him anything about what had happened, could it only have been yesterday?

I wasn't ready.

I couldn't tell him. Not yet. I didn't have nearly enough courage to divulge anything just yet. Alice's words came back to me.

_I've never seen him so depressed in my life._

More tears flowed as I recalled the obvious pain that Alice had described to me. My mind could hardly wrap itself around the concept of something as terrifying as Edward's pain. Edward was loyal. Edward was faithful. Edward was selfless. Edward was strong. People like that didn't have unrelenting pain. They couldn't. He couldn't.

But he had.

And I longed to take the pain away from him if I could. I wanted nothing more than to wrap myself up in his world and consume his grief and past agony and only give him love and affection the rest of his days. We were both damaged. Severely so. And maybe I would have the courage to remember the night I worked so hard to suppress.

Walls. Slamming. Crashing. Fear. Sullied. Pain. Moaning. Power.

My hand instinctively cringed back in pain as I clutched my lower stomach. My eyes squeezed shut and my hearing echoed and faded away, like I was drowning. I was barely aware of my name being called to pull me back towards the surface. Then, I could feel myself swimming to the surface with a light shock that seemed to flash all over my face.

My forehead. My nose. My cheeks. My chin.

Never my lips. Edward's lips.

He was kissing my face; whispering my name; wrapping his arms around me.

"Bella, sweetheart. Come back to me, please." He pleaded for me to resurface. His beautiful face came into view, tears running down his face.

_No._ I thought. _An angel shouldn't weep._

I gasped as I broke the surface and fell limply into Edward's arms, clutching to his body tightly. "Edward, oh Edward," I sobbed. "Edward I'm so sorry,"

I was vaguely aware of my body being lifted and laid down on a soft bed, and the opposite side sinking down beside me. His fingertips stroked my arm softly, consoling me as I breathed deeply.

"Bella, are you okay?" He whispered after a moment.

I nodded my head slightly.

"Can you tell me what happened?" He pressed and a sharp pain coursed through me that was just bearable for me to shake my head.

I heard him sigh softly, and now guilt washed over me as I absorbed his pain, taking it as my own. My head seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, only heavier with the throbbing migraine I had developed so it surprised me that I was able to lift my eyes up to his face.

His brow was furrowed in frustration causing his emerald eyes to squint. The corners of his eyes were dotted with diamond tears that seemed so close to spilling over, but never fell. His mouth was set in a deep grimace which I longed to smooth out with my fingertips.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I started. "I j-just can't." I cried hopelessly.

His hands were holding my face in a flash. "Don't you dare apologize, Isabella Marie Swan. It was wrong of me to ask something so significant of you so soon. So wrong." I attempted to shush him but he continued. "Bella, let me show you a part of me that you are unfamiliar with. Let me open up to you. Please." He begged.

My heart grew with his pleading; joyous that he would trust me with the knowledge of what happened from the time he left up until yesterday.

He took a deep breath before he began his tale.

"Well, I was born." He smiled wryly at the reference and I responded with a weak smile of my own before he began again. "You know the majority of the events that occurred in my childhood. You know my brothers; my parents. However, I probably left out minute details, such as the time when Emmett pushed me down our stairs and I cut my eyelid open." He closed his eye and pointed out the small red line across his eyelid before reopening his eyes. "Or the time when I got pneumonia and was hospitalized for three weeks. Or even the time when I cut my entire calf on a loose strand of metal after a certain talent show in high school." He lifted his pant leg, revealing the slightly raised pink scar across his scar.

"Minute details that mark me for life and define who I really am." He looked down slightly before continuing. "Everything was planned, Bella. I was going to graduate high school and become a doctor. Follow in my father's footsteps. I would just do my music on the side as a way to escape. I would meet someone in medical school, get married, have two children grow old and die satisfied. Everything was planned."

He shook his head and smiled sardonically. "And then you happened." His gaze met mine and my heart stopped.

"You came into my life and I knew it could never be according to the plan. I knew I had to write a new plan. One that included you. The first day I saw you. God, the first day I saw you. I thought you were an angel. Angelic was the only way to describe you. But I resented you. You were demonic for making me want you and for disrupting my perfect plan for my life. So, I tried taking you out of my life. And I hated it. The more I fought it, the more I gave in. I wrote songs about you, for you.

Jasper found my lyrics notebook and later told me that he was appalled by what he read. He eavesdropped on me playing. Me singing. And told Emmett. And so, the Cullen Brothers Band was formed. Of course my parents were thrilled just to have a band that would occupy us so we would stay out of trouble. They thought it was nothing but a hobby." He laughed cynically. "They were wrong."

"Emmett signed us up. Shortly after, I found out from Alice that you liked me. I tried to be nonchalant about it, but everyone knew that I was beyond thrilled. By this point, I had given up. I just needed you with every fiber of my being. It thrilled and at the same time terrified me. And then, of course, the Biology project." He eyed me meaningfully, raising an eyebrow sexily.

"I found that not only were you heart-wrenchingly beautiful, you were also brilliant. Stunningly so. And witty and charming and incredibly kind-hearted. I knew even then that I was falling in love with you.

And with your admission in the car that night, I knew I couldn't hold off any longer. You had to be mine, and with the talent show on days away, I needed to do it fast. At this point, I was absolutely in love with you, but I was terrified to admit my feelings to you. And when I finally did, my whole world was turned upside down. I would never be the same again. And I didn't want to be. The night of the talent show, when I saw you in that outfit. Oh, God. I didn't think I would be able to perform. It took everything I had not to attack you right on stage."

"He chuckled and shook his head before returning his face to its hard mask. "When they announced that we won, it was one of the most meaningful moments of my life thus far. That night when you crawled into my bed, I couldn't help but feeling like we were made for each other. The way our lips connected like puzzle pieces when we kissed. I'd never felt a connection so strong with someone in my entire life. The days following the talent show up until we left were the best days of my life. Spending every waking moment with you, and it still wasn't enough.

On the day my brother and I left to kick off our tour, I saw the fear and sadness in my eyes reflected in yours. But I had to be strong, for the both of us. Consoling and reassuring that it wasn't the end. On the inside, I was dying. But I stayed strong for all of my brothers and I. Alice had come with us when her parents passed away, on what would've been our freshmen year of college. We had more than enough money to sustain her and Jasper was still as completely in love with her as he'd been in high school."

"We traveled almost constantly, everyone wanted to know who this new band "The Cullen Brothers Band" was all about. Record sales, television spots, fan sites," He smirked at me. "You name it, we had it. Except for me of course, I knew what I was missing. I tried to fill the constant void. I drank. I smoked. I got high. I cut myself. I had one-night stands. I'm not proud of that stage in my life. Not in the least. I tried on multiple occasions to kill myself." He motioned to the scars on either side of his neck.

"My family said I needed balance. That I needed someone in my life; get me back up on my feet. They introduced me to Tanya Denali, an old family friend. We hung out a few times, and it led to more. I liked Tanya…at first. She had a certain spark and sexual charm that attracted me. And something that I couldn't quite out my finger on, that was just—Tanya. But she quickly grew attached to the attention that being with me got her. She got attached to the money, the fame, the sex. And I grew to resent her. Extensively so. But I couldn't let her go. She was the emotional crutch that had held me together for two years. Being without her would bring me back to drinking and cutting.

But one day, she made me snap. And she left, or should I say stormed, was it three days ago? I wasn't sure I was going to be able to perform after finding a picture of us kissing the day I left in an old photo album. I couldn't bear to look at it, so I did the only thing I could; thrash a blade. Disgusted with myself and completely horrified by my actions, I entered New York."

"It was a normal experience, putting on my happy face for the fans; little did I know that you would be there. If I had, I don't know what I would've done, I might have run, not capable of accepting the rejection you would surely give me. But when you walked into that back lounge, my world was flipped again. You were still just as beautiful, if not more beautiful than when I last saw you. The last traces of childhood were completely erased, leaving only a stunningly breath-taking woman. It shouldn't have surprised me that you were with someone. I winced back internally at the thought of you with another man, but knew it wasn't my place to reprimand someone that was rightfully yours when I did. And then he just took you. Out of the door and out of my life. Just like that. I had just gotten you back, you couldn't leave me. I wouldn't have been able to bear it.

Up until late last night at the hotel, I thought I'd never see you again. I would've come looking for you. I would've fought for you if you would just give me a chance to redeem myself. I would've followed you to the ends of the Earth and back. And not because I was dependent on someone to keep me stable, no that wasn't it at all. It was because I lo—" He cut himself off abruptly shaking his head and mumbling to himself before starting up again.

"And here tonight, I can't think of any other place I'd rather be than with you. All I ever want is for you to be happy no matter who its with. By some miracle, you've chosen to be with me, for reasons I cannot even begin to comprehend and won't be able to even after someday in the future if you explain."

He took my face in his hands and stared me directly in the eyes, our souls entwining together. "I'll be here to take care of you as long as you want me to be. I've said it once and I'll say it again. I'll be whoever you want me to be for you. And I'll be that happily. I want you to know that." He finished with a whisper and a soft kiss to my forehead.

By this point, tears streamed freely down my face as I was unable to contain the pathos running through me. He had just given me his soul. His soul was within me and I was never going to let it go. The silence that passed through us was oddly comforting and I closed my eyes as we leaned our foreheads together.

I heard a slight intake of breath and I opened my eyes immediately, bringing my eyes to meet his which were staring back behind me.

"Bella, look," He whispered.

. My eyes widened when I turned my head again as I met a new side I had over looked. How I had over looked it, I had no idea. One entire wall was completely constructed of windows that looked out into the open landscape around us. The meteor shower was still in full swing and I reveled at the sight of the stars falling from the endless sky. My hand flew to my throat in complete surprise.

"C'mon, love." He whispered, taking my hand in his.

He slide the sliding glass door that led to the balcony open and a rush of cool fall air assaulted me, causing me to shiver from the contrast of the warm condo. His large, warm hands wrapped around my waist and subconsciously leaned back into his touch as he rested his chin on my shoulder, nuzzling his face into the side of my neck.

"Mmm, Edward…" I breathed when he kissed just beneath my ear.

I felt him smile against my skin. "Bella?" He barely whispered.

"Mmm…yes?" I replied drowsily.

"May I kiss you?"

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**Okay...simmer down folks....simmer down... :) I love that...ANYWHO...please please PLEASE lemme know what you think of this chapter in a review...they're my brand of heroin :) **

**ALSO...check out the poll thats on my profile....I NEED RESPONSES!!! They question is, "Should there be a lemon in 'You Found Me'? That's right...I'm leaving it up to you guys...you get a taste of what my lemons would be like if you check out that one-shot i mentioned in the top A/N. **

**So let me know! **

**ALSO: I'm going to start a Twilight trivia tally...so here we go!! Starting out easy!**

**What is Edward's full name?**

**XOXO Jessica**


	10. Dizzy Encounters

**Okay guys....I really don't think any amount of groveling will suffice for making this chapter such a long wait....gah, I don't even think you guys know how sorry I am...my hiatus that I announced awhile back is beginning to start lifting...so I really really REALLY hope I still have some readers somewhere over the rainbow....Thanks sooooo much for your continued support of my silly story...lol. Okay now that my apology is over...enough seriousness!! :)**

**First order of business: The tally for the Twilight Trivia Contest that I've started is at the bottom A/N. :)**

**2nd order of business: I HAVE A NEW MEMBER TO ADD TO MY BETA TEAM!!! :) (cuz, Lord knows I need my stories Beta'd as much as possible :D) Drum roll please......TWILIGHTLVR94!! Otherwise known to me as Paige :) Haha. So she was the one that really helped me get through my writers block hiatus...I give her all the credit so thank you soooooo much!!! :) **

**3rd order of business: My reviewerssss!!! I'd like to thank: tigger5600, Jalesia, k-cullen13, JennsEmeralds, and emmettcluver for reviewing last chapter!!! Thanks guys!! Keep it up...I love me some reviews :) **

**OKAY NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO.....THE NEXT CHAPTER! **

**READ ON READERS. READ ON. **

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**Previously on You Found Me....**

"Mmm, Edward…" I breathed when he kissed just beneath my ear.

I felt him smile against my skin. "Bella?" He barely whispered.

"Mmm…yes?" I replied drowsily.

"May I kiss you?"

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**EPOV**

Her eyes, wide with shock, brimmed with tears. Her lips, moist, and slightly parted in shock—gasping lightly in response to me quite obviously stupid question. I mentally banged my head on the granite counter top in front of me.

_How could you be so fucking idiotic, Cullen? Don't you see what you've done now? You've ruined your chances of getting any, man! Bastard. _The monster in my head chastised me.

_Don't listen to him, Edward._ My noble side contradicted. _You love her, and its only natural to want to kiss her. Sure, it was a bit too soon, but it's nothing you can't fix._

_Yeah, right._ The demon rolled his eyes.

I snapped my eyes shut and hung my head slightly, running my fingers through my hair before speaking again. "Aw, fuck…I'm so sorry. I didn't think—God, I'm selfish." Cursing, I wiped my hands over my face in frustration with myself.

"Hey," Bella whispered quietly. "Look at me."

My head didn't budge.

"Edward Cullen, look at me." She demanded with a harsh whisper.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I lifted my gaze to find her compassionate, fiery eyes lit up and boring into mine. "Edward, don't apologize. It's not your fault…it's me. I w-want to kiss you—I just," She cut off, dropping her head.

"I just can't." She whispered almost inaudibly, a single tear creeping down her face.

_Now you've done it. You've gone and made her more upset. Way to fucking go, Cullen. _

_Now, Edward. You can fix this. Comfort her._

"Oh, my Bella—my Bella," I whispered, engulfing her in my arms. "Don't you dare apologize. It's my fault. I moved to fast. Again. I just can't seem to get anything right, can I?" I chuckled wryly.

She didn't respond vocally. She simply shook her head against my chest as to argue with me. I chuckled lowly at her adorable tenacity.

"C'mon, love. I'll take you to bed," I whispered, lifting her up in my arms bridal style and carrying her into my bedroom. Peeling back the covers, I gently laid her down and re-covered her glorious form. Her eyes drooped shut, a gentle smile on her sleeping face.

"Edward," She slurred, slightly.

"Yes, Bella?" I whispered with a lazy smile. She didn't reply, so I knew she had fallen asleep.

Smiling, I walked into the living room, grabbed a pillow and the blanket that laid across the back of the couch and floated back into Bella's room, setting up a makeshift bed on the floor beside her. I pulled off my shirt and jeans and laid on my side, facing Bella, watching her peaceful form.

Finally, I felt my eyelids drift closed, and I slept with a smile on my face for the first time in four years.

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**BPOV**

Sunlight.

Bright sunlight, pouring into the once dark room. The once dark life.

My eyes fluttered open to greet the day, to greet the morning now that the night had ended. My eyes adjusted slowly, everything in the room a shade of blue before the normal hue of the room had returned. I sat up, stretching out my stiff limbs, a let my eyes wander the foreign room.

Subconsciously, I clutched my stomach and brought my knees up to my chest in a defensive position as I took in my surroundings. The bedroom was large, and beige colored, with wide windows across the same wall that was in the living room. A burgundy dresser sat against the wall beside a massive mirror that reflected the closet beside the bed. Plush carpet lined the floors that turned into hardwood as it went into the living room. I turned my head towards the sunlight and squinted my eyes, searching for a clock, but what I found was much more wonderful.

Lying on the floor next to the bed, was Edward. Angelic, wonderful, selfless, beautiful, glorious, Edward. His sleeping form was sprawled out in a contorted angle, one of his arms under his head while the other was draped across his bare, muscled chest. A soft smile quirking on the edges of his lips and his vibrant green eyes shielded from the blinding sunlight. His light skin seemed to glow angelically in the light, and his messy bronze hair fell slightly over his face as he moved about. I was entranced by his liquid movements, his gracefully motion, even in sleep.

The deep V of his hips was just visible from beneath the covers, making me salivate embarrassingly, and I couldn't stop the soft moan of appreciating from escaping my lips. I flushed tomato red and leapt out of bed when his eyelids started to flutter open. Dashing to the kitchen, I tried occupying myself with a magazine so that he wouldn't suspect I had been staring at him.

Heavy footsteps clamored across the hardwood floors until his magnificent form finally came into sight. Only in a pair of cotton pajama bottoms, leaned against the doorframe, smiling sleepily and running a hand through his disheveled hair. I sucked in a bit of drool that had escaped my parted lips.

"Good morning," I squeaked out, flushing red and clearing my throat.

"Mmm, good morning, Bella," He smiled crookedly and closed the short distance between us to place a gentle kiss on my forehead and to wrap his arms around me. I sighed and relaxed into his embrace.

I inhaled the mouthwatering scent of his skin, then turned my head to the side, resting my ear over his hypnotic heart beat. He stroked the length of my hair with one hand and rubbed circles with his thumb on the small of my back.

"I'll be right back. Shower." I released my grip begrudgingly.

"Okay, love. I'll be right here when you get back," He told me smiling.

Quickly, I shuffled to the bathroom and turned on the shower, not really focusing on anything else but Edward, subconsciously washing myself before I toweled myself dry. Groaning, I realized I had no clothes to change into.

"Uh, Edward?" I called through the door.

"Yes, Bella?" He replied, already at the bathroom door.

"I, um, don't, er, have any clothes to change into," I began, blushing tomato red. "Do you, uh, have some that I can borrow?"

"Of course, Bella," He replied after clearing his throat. "They might be huge on you, but they'll work for now." I heard him perusing the closet as I stood awkwardly wrapped in a towel against the door.

"Here, these should work," Edward said when I opened the door to take the clothes from him, still blushing.

Edward gasped slightly when he saw me. "Uh, th-thanks," I stuttered before quickly closing the door to avoid embarrassing myself further.

I put my bra and underwear back on and slipped on the pair of drawstring gray sweat pants he had given me to wear. Like he had warned, they were huge on me, however the drawstring allowed me to wear them tightly enough on my hips. I buried my face into the green Jimmy Eat World t-shirt, inhaling his sandalwood scent before donning it and walking out of the bathroom.

I padded across the hardwood and into the kitchen again, finding him eating a bowl of cereal at the marble bar.

"Um, thanks for the clothes again," I murmured, looking down.

"It was my pleasure, Bella," He replied his voice lower and rougher than it had been minutes before.

"Where the hell could they possibly be?!" A booming voice from the other side of the apartment door bellowed. Edward quickly took a defensive stance beside me, wrapping a muscled arm around my slender waist. Despite the fear that ran through my body, I couldn't help but notice how perfectly I fit against his side.

The door swung open suddenly, bouncing against the wall and back as three figures walked through the threshold.

"Eddie!" I felt Edward sigh with relief and loosen his grip from around me.

"Emmett," He breathed out as Emmett, Jasper, and Alice walked into the kitchen.

"Bella! Oh, thank God!" Alice cried out, quickly jerking me away from Edward and wrapping me into a tight embrace. "I knew she'd be here," She called over her shoulder.

"You're always right, Ali," I heard Jasper say with a smile in his voice as she released me, and I escaped back into the solace of Edward's arms.

"You know it," She smirked happily.

"Bella!" Emmett bellowed with a wide grin, bounding towards me with his arms open as if to embrace me. Everything from there seemed to happen in slow motion. Black and white. Silently.

My arms started slipping off Edward's waist, plunging back into the dark water that I struggled to get through. My eyes shut tightly, my arms wrapped around my stomach to keep the drowning images from flooding in.

But I couldn't stop it.

"_God, can't you be quiet, whore?" He growled. _

"_Jake, what are you doing?" I whimpered. _

"_I thought I told you to shut the fuck up!" He seethed, spreading his arms open to place them on the wall behind me, pressing me against the wall. His shirt already off, his eyes wild. _

_He shoved me hard again, and my head crashed against the wall, black spots dotting my vision momentarily, the rusty smell of blood filling the air. _

"_You're mine."_

_

* * *

  
_

**EPOV**

"Bella!" I cried out to her. My fingers tore through my hair in torment as I paced the floor feeling completely and utterly helpless when she began to shake violently. I knelt to the floor beside her, humming my song for her shakily as a few tears streamed down my face. Quickly, I wiped them away, needing to stay strong for Bella. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her on the floor, pulling her into my lap and cradling her against my chest.

At first, she thrashed more violently, screaming and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Oh, Bella, my Bella," I whispered as I rocked her to try and stop her from thrashing. "Oh, Bella, I love you so much. Please come back to me," I continued without thinking. "I've always loved you, and I will always love you,"

I didn't care that she couldn't hear me through her sobs, or that my family was looking on with what were probably shocked, terrified faces.

"I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever," I sung to her, my voice cracking with emotion on several occasions. Her body began to stop quaking as I rocked us on the floor, and I began to kiss her hair when her sobbing slowly skidded to a halt.

"It's only me, love. It's only, Edward." I whispered one last time before she resurfaced.

"Edward," She whispered.

"Yes, love, it's me." I replied, kissing the top of her head.

"Edward," She began, her voice shaking from mental exhaustion before she fell into a deep sleep.

I gently lifted her into my arms, and carried her into the living room, wordlessly slipping on my shoes and leaving my family standing in the kitchen doorway.

As I walked solemnly down the dimly lit hallway, Bella still in my arms, I heard Jasper, Emmett and Alice calling out to me.

"Edward!" Jasper's voice finally broke through my trance, his hand clasping my shoulder when he caught up to me.

"What, Jasper?" I asked, my voice emotionless.

He recoiled slightly when he took in my blank expression, but continued nonetheless.

"The tour bus is out front. We need to leave before the paparazzi gets here," He told me.

I nodded once before entering the elevator and letting the doors close behind me. Vaguely aware of my state of undress, I walked through the empty lobby greeting the Henry, the doorman, with a nod before continuing with my brisk pace out to the tour bus out front.

I awkwardly nudged the door with my foot as I held Bella in my arms, and as soon as the doors were open, I quickly stepped inside.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen," Our bus driver, Andrew greeted with me with a smile and a silghtly questioning look.

"How many times have I told you, Andrew? Please, call me Edward," I told him with a half-hearted smile. Bella moved minutely around in my arms, moaning quietly, however, she stayed asleep.

"Andrew, this is my…" I trailed off, not sure as to what she would want me to introduce her as. "Bella," I finished lamely.

He quirked his eyebrow. "Your Bella? Ah, I see," He smiled knowingly at me.

As I opened my mouth to speak again, Emmett, Jasper and Alice entered the bus quietly, Emmett hanging his head in shame and carefully walked around Bella and I. He looked up into my eyes, his filled with apology and regret. I nodded once, letting him know that he was forgiven. He had, after all been like a brother to her, and I never expected his embrace to elicit such a reaction out of her. Gratitude and relief swept over his features as he lay back on his small cot on the bus. Jasper and Alice smiled gently at me as well as they sat down on the couch together.

"Are you ready to go, sir?" Andrew asked.

"Yes, I think we are," I replied making my way back through the door to the bed I slept on in the back of the bus. Eyes followed Bella and I as I shut the door and lay her gently on my bed. She stirred slightly as the bus started down the road, but stayed in her slumber.

"Sleep well, love. I'll let you sleep. I'm just outside the door if you need me. I love you," I whispered, even though I knew she couldn't hear me before I kissed her forehead, and gently closed the door behind me.

* * *

**A FEW HOURS LATER**

**BPOV**

My eyes fluttered open to an entirely new environment. A small, enclosed room, on a small claustrophobic bed. And I was moving? My eye brows furrowed as I got up off the bed and walked around, going to the tiny window. I peered out into the mid afternoon sun, and the wide expanse of road that I was currently traveling on.

Then it all came back to me.

The meadow. The apartment. The flashback. The drowning.

I was rescued.

Edward rescued me. Again. He brought me here. On their tour bus.

But where was he now?

My eyes scanned the room again, and I caught sight of a door that must lead into the main part of the bus. As I turned the knob, I heard Edward's melodious voice speaking with the others before I saw him sitting on the floor leaning against the cabinets by Emmett's cot.

"I have no fucking clue. I feel so helpless. I just—" He stopped abruptly when he saw me at the door.

"Bella?" He asked, getting up and walking towards me. He was still in the same state of undress as he was this morning, so I diverted my attention away from his incomparable form and dropped my gaze to my feet.

I felt him so close in front of me, and I braced myself for a flashback. But it never came. "Hey," He whispered as he placed a finger underneath my chin, lifting my gaze to meet his.

His emerald eyes held nothing but concern and kindness and eternal patience in them, and I found myself getting lost in the jade orbs. "Are you okay?" He murmured softly to me.

When I found my voice, I answered him. "I think so. Is Emmett okay?" I asked remembering how his almost embrace had sent me into a flashback. God, he must feel incredibly guilty.

Edward shook his head and chuckled lightly as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"What's so funny?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Nothing, its just that you would be more concerned about Emmett's wellbeing," He chuckled again. He murmured something beneath his breath before leading me to sit down beside him on the couch.

"Hey, Bella," Emmett said quietly, staying rigid in his place on his cot. Emmett thought everything that had caused that flashback was his fault. He had to understand it wasn't. I was the one that was messed up.

Taking a deep breath, determined to not show weakness, I reached out and touched Emmett's arm, albeit, shakily and reassured him. "Emmett, it's okay. It's not your fault." I smiled at him, and he grinned hesitantly back.

Jasper greeted me as well, and Alice hugged me softly before I retreated into my safe haven, Edward's arms. I leaned against his muscled chest and he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

We sat in a comfortable silence before Alice finally spoke.

"Why don't we watch a movie, or something? We still have about two hours until we get to D.C,"

"That sounds like a fantastic idea, Alice," I heard Edward say with a smile in his voice from behind me. "What movie?" He asked.

"Um, let's see," Alice said, shuffling through the cabinet of DVDs, until she laughed.

"How about Mulan?" She asked, holding up the box, chuckling.

I laughed aloud when Emmett replied, "Um, hell yes! Mulan is a bad ass!"

Alice placed the DVD into the player, and pressed play, then settle back down next to Jasper.

We all quickly became enraptured by the movie, much to the driver's amusement, however, in the back of my mind I was aware of the close proximity between Edward and I. Soon, I lost all interest in the movie and could focus solely on Edward.

"Bella?" He whispered in my ear. "Are you watching the movie?"

"Mmm," I replied breathily. "It depends. Are you?"

He chuckled and kissed beneath my ear. "I've been watching you the entire time,"

I shivered slightly, moaning softly as he kissed lightly down my neck, tightening his grip around my waist. "Edward," I half whispered, half moaned.

"Let's get down to business!" Emmett bellowed all of a sudden, breaking the spell on us. "To defeat—the Huns!"

Edward and I just stared at each other before we began laughing hysterically as Emmett continued. "Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?" Emmett stood up suddenly, putting on a supposed fearsome gaze on all of us.

"You're the saddest bunch I ever met, and you haven't got a clue," Emmett sang along with the movie.

"Mister, I'll make a man out of you," I whispered to Edward. He moaned lightly, giving me a feeling of triumph at my effect on him.

He quickly composed himself, eyeing my cocky grin with a quirked eyebrow and a sexy smirk of his own. I simply gave him an innocent look before returning my attention to Emmett and his hilarious display.

"I'm never gonna catch my breath," He began.

"Say good bye to those who knew me," Jasper continued, laughing.

"Why was I fool in school for cutting gym?" Emmett said in a nasally voice.

"This guy's got them scared to death," Edward sang from behind me.

"Hope he doesn't see right through me," I sang, laughing cynically at the double meaning.

"Now, I really wish that I knew how to swim!" Alice finished.

We all joined in on the chorus and sang through the end of the song, all of us in stitches by the time it was finished. The rest of the bus ride was relatively uneventful, other than Emmett's occasional outburst or quotation.

"Ladies and gentlemen," The driver called from the front of the bus. "We are about to arrive at your destination, the Verizon Center, Washington D.C. Your performance begins in approximately two hours at seven o'clock."

"Thank you, Andrew," Edward replied, politely.

"My pleasure, sir." Andrew smiled in return.

"Well, I guess I need to get dressed, huh?" He chuckled sheepishly, running a hand through his hair when he realized he was still topless.

_Well, you don't __**have**__ to…_

I laughed nervously, blushing slightly. "Yeah, I guess you better."

He got up off the couch and walked to where his clothes were stored in a suitcase just inside the door that lead to his bedroom, if you could call it that.

From the corner of my eye, I watched him slip on a simple tight white undershirt that emphasized his muscular chest in a mouthwatering way, before reaching into his bag and putting on a chain with two dog tags and returning to the room with us, his hair mussed from the shirt he put on. He looked unbelievably sexy, and I had to remind myself of my precarious condition begrudgingly before I did something incredibly stupid.

"We're here," Jasper called.

Edward nodded then turned to me. "Emmett, Jasper and I will get out here where all the fans are, we'll sign autographs, take pictures, and so on while you and Alice will stay in the bus and go in the backstage doors to be avoided by the paparazzi. Is that okay?" He asked, tilting his head to the side again in an adorable manner.

"Of course, it's okay. Whatever is best." I told him, smiling reassuringly. He smiled in return and kissed my forehead again, leaving my skin tingling again.

"C'mon, lover boy! Let's go! We can't leave the fans waiting," Emmett yelled as he and Jasper started to exit the bus, a roar of fans screaming when they came into view.

"I'll see you before the concert, love." He told me before, he too, walked out of the bus, only to be met by more screams.

"Edward, I love you!" One voice carried over the rest.

_Back off, bitch. He's mine. _

The voice in my head shocked me. _Where the hell did that come from?_

"Ms. Alice? Ms. Bella?" Andrew called to us. "Are you ready to go?" He inquired.

"Yes, Andrew. Thank you," Alice smiled warmly at him, and he drove around the building to the backstage entrance of the Verizon Center where there were barely any fans and very little press as well.

Alice and I inconspicuously entered the performance hall without being bombarded.

"And now," Alice began. "We wait for our men." She finished smiling as we plopped down on the couch in a lounge backstage, away from the chaos of the stage crew.

The way Alice said "our men" caught me off guard. Edward wasn't mine, even if I desperately wanted him to be. Quickly steering the subject in a different direction, I spoke after a moment.

"Alice?" I asked.

"Yeah?" She replied.

"Um, will we be spending every night on the road? Do we, uh, sleep on the bus every night? Or what? I mean, you know I'm new to this, and I feel like I'm just completely naïve to everything and I have no idea what the hell I'm doing or why the hell I'm here, and why Edward's being so understanding and patient and kind and—" Alice cut off my babbling.

"Bella, breath," She laughed slightly.

I took a deep breath and laughed shakily with her. "Sorry," I murmured.

"To answer your first question, no we do not spend every night on the road. After tonight, we don't have a concert until Friday, but I'm sure you know that," She smiled knowingly.

I blushed at the fact that she knew I was the WebMistress for the Cullen Brothers Lexicon.

"To answer your other questions," She continued after a moment. "Would be wrong of me. That's something that either Edward needs to tell you, or you need to figure out for yourself, even though you really already know."

I bit my lip at her cryptic answer, but before I could answer, the stage manager opened the door.

"Five minutes, Ms. Brandon." He told us.

Alice nodded her thanks. "Welp, it's time to go, She exclaimed excitedly, pulling me to my feet.

"What? Now?" I asked as she pulled me out towards the stage.

"Yes, now!" Alice called as we stopped abruptly at the curtain. "The boys will come from over there and head out on stage," She yelled over the screaming fans.

I nodded in reply and became aware of the flurry of people swarming around me. After a few moments Emmett and Jasper walked out first. Emmett smiled at me in a brotherly way and Jasper greeted me first before winking at Alice behind me. Edward came out soon afterwards, looking downright sinful in the same tight white t-shirt and dog tags paired with a pair of sexily worn jeans, a black leather jacket and a pair of black Converse.

Dear, God, this man was sex on legs.

"Wish me luck," He smiled crookedly at me, kissing my cheek.

"You don't need it," I replied in a slight daze. Damn. He dazzled me again.

He chuckled sexily. "Show time," He said before going off the stand with his brothers on the dark stage.

The screams had died down minutely, but then the lights went up.

The opening guitar riffs of one of their older songs mingled with the screaming.

"C'mon!" Alice yelled, pulling me to where we could see the boys on stage.

The drums and the bass line reverberated through the stage as did Edward's velvety voice when he began the song.

"You close your eyes and kiss you hand, and you blow it," He sang and the crowd went insane as they recognized the song. He focused his attention on the crowd as he continued through the first verse, a bit of me melting with each word.

"Are you dizzy yet?" He sang the locked his eyes on mine as he sang the chorus. "Respectfully, so honestly, I'm calling out. Do you hear the conversation we talk about? Back away to the safety of a quiet house. If there's half a chance in this moment. When your eyes meet mine, we show it off."

I smiled with complete and utter content as he smiled crookedly at me. And I knew in that moment, that things would be alright if I had Edward by my side. They had to be.

* * *

**THE LINK TO THE SONG THAT EDWARD SINGS IS ON MY PROFILE!!! SERIOUSLY. LISTEN TO IT. IT'S FREAKING AMAZING. **

**Review and I'll have Edward dedicate a song to you...right after me. *devilish smirk* **

**Here's the Tally! **

**Jalesia: 1**

**Emmettcluver: 1**

**JennsEmeralds: 1**

**k-cullen13: 1 **

**Anddddd here's the next question! (Still going with easy ones :D) **

**Where and in what year was Edward born? **

**XOXO Jessica :) **


	11. I Just Want You To Know Who I Am

**THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO LADYDRAGONA FOR REVIEWING EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER OF YOU FOUND ME AND EVERY STORY I'VE WRITTEN. YOU'RE AMAZING. **

**SUPER DUPER EXTRA LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE BOTTOM. I think I've kept you waiting long enough for this chapter...so, just FUCKING READ. **

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**EPOV**

There was something to be said about the intense adrenaline that flooded my body during my performance knowing that the muse for all of my songs was standing only yards away. We performed all of the songs we had played thus far flawlessly, giving the best performance we'd given in weeks. That was completely due to the fact that Bella was with me. Finally. Even if it was only for a little while, and even if it was only for comfort for whatever that bastard Jacob did to her. I fought back my animalistic urge to growl at the thought, and began setting up for my next song, Iris. My personal anthem.

I grabbed a wooden stool and my acoustic guitar, trying to block out the wild cheering that echoed through the stadium. I was sweating under the suffocating heat of the lights on my black leather jacket. Quickly shedding the jacket, I glanced over to Bella to grin and wink at her. I saw her lips form a shocked "O" of surprise and I smirked to myself at my effect on her. I barely registered the increased cheering as a result of me taking off my jacket, leaving me in only a thin white t-shirt which was surely rendered partially transparent in some places due to my perspiration.

I quickly wiped my forehead with the back of my hand before sitting down on the stool with my guitar in my hands and the microphone set up inches away from my face. Above the crowd, I heard a screeching voice scream, "I love you, Edward! Please be mine!"

Normally, I would ignore such a comment, but with Bella here I decided to respond. "Sorry, but my heart belongs to someone else." I looked over at Bella meaningfully, trying desperately to convey how much I still cared for her, even if she didn't feel the same way about me anymore. A chorus of disappointed "Aww"s flooded the arena, and I nearly rolled my eyes at the sound.

"Sorry, guys." I spoke into the microphone again before introducing the next acoustic song. "Well, this next song is one I'd like to call my personal anthem, considering I think it describes me and my loved ones pretty well. So here it is." I finished before placing my fingers on the correct chord.

The familiar opening chords caused the arena to erupt into cheers before quickly dying down as my eyelids fluttered closed I started singing, thinking of Bella the entire time. "And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be and I don't wanna go home right now. And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life. When sooner or later it's over, I just don't want to miss you tonight." I opened my eyes and made eye contact with Bella, letting her know this song was dedicated to her.

I let my head drop before I started the chorus. "And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand." I stopped singing and let the crowd sing the rest of the chorus.

"When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." They sang at me, a smile flittering across my face.

I lifted my head to the microphone and felt the music pulse through my veins as I started singing again, strumming away on my guitar. "And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of truth in your lies. When everything feels like the movies—" I stopped strumming and pointed to the crowd. "Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive!"

"And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." I sang, pouring every ounce of my soul into the words. I began the musical interlude and leaned away from the microphone, forcefully, emotionally playing like I was only playing for Bella before I entered the final chorus and ended the song, letting the last note ring through the arena before the crowd began screaming.

I stood up and took a bow, then gestured for my brothers to come out on stage with me. When Emmett and Jasper trotted out on stage, the cheering got louder before Emmett took the microphone. "We want to thank each and every one of you guys for coming out to night! We hope you enjoyed the show! We're gonna play one more song and then we'll head out!"

"Alright, fellas, let's go!" Jasper shouted and both he and Emmett jogged to their instruments and I rolled my eyes at them so the crowd could see me. The first few rows laughed, and I smiled at them, my mood at an incredible high knowing Bella was waiting for me backstage.

One of our good friends, Ben Cheney, came out on stage to help us out with the last song as I headed over to the grand piano we had set up. Emmett took his place behind the drum-set, grinning like a maniac, and Jasper was strapping on his bass, with that same smile on his face. I walked over to the grand piano and pushed the bench back, standing up as I set my fingers on the keys and leaned up to the microphone. "Ladies and gentleman, I'd like to introduce you to our good friend, Ben Cheney, who's helping us out on the guitar for this last song." Ben gave a little wave and I smiled back at Bella before starting the opening notes. I grinned widely when the crowd cheered in recognition. Emmett kicked right in with the drums, pounding on them with such enthusiasm I started the first verse with a slight chuckle.

"I have, I have you breathing down my neck, breathing down my neck. I don't, don't know what you could possibly expect under this condition so, I'll wait, I'll wait for the ambulance to come, ambulance to come pick us up off the floor what did you possibly expect under this condition? So, slow down, this night's the perfect shade of," Jasper came in with perfect harmony. "Dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room? Now, I'm here with you, I said the world could be burning, burning down. Dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room? Well, I'm here with you. I said the world could be burning, till there's nothing but dark blue."

Standing up hunched over the piano, pounding on the keys, I kicked the bench back with my foot as I started the second verse, sweat dripping down my forehead. When it came time for the bridge, I ran one hand through my hair to get it out of my face, playing with one hand as I sang into the microphone. "We were boxing, we were boxing the stars. We were boxing, you were swinging from Mars. And then the water reached the west coast, and took the power lines, the power lines. And it was me and you. And the whole town underwater, and there's nothing we could do." Ben took a short guitar solo and before we launched into the final chorus, the entire song performed flawlessly. We kept playing as I started speaking into the microphone. "Ben Cheney, ladies and gentlemen!" The crowd cheered and he smiled as he continued playing.

Emmett took over. "On the drums, I'm the awesome Emmett Cullen!" The crowd cheered loudly for him. "On the bass, he's the incredible Jasper Cullen!" I heard Alice squeal his name from behind me. "And on the piano of there, is our youngest brother, Eddie Cullen!"

"Emmett," I warned into the microphone.

"Fine," He amended. "Edward Cullen!" The screams erupted and I heard Bella screaming with them, and I was suddenly taken back to the talent show that night. The room filled with a few hundred students, not several thousand fans. I quickly brought myself back to the present as Emmett closed us out. "We are the Cullen Brothers Band! Good night!" Three final chords and we were done, the lights going black the screams still deafening as we grabbed our instruments and exited the stage.

"Jazz!" Alice squealed as he ran off stage and picked her up quickly, swinging her around. "You were great!" She said before kissing him quickly. I playfully gagged, causing Bella to giggle adorably. I beamed at her.

"Hey! What about us?" Emmett whined.

"You guys were fantastic, as usual." Bella chimed in, blushing a bit.

Smiling crookedly, I leaned down to kiss her cheek softly. "Thank you, love."

"You're more than welcome." She murmured, smiling subtly.

I beamed at her, offering her my arm playfully. She giggled and placed her hand in the crook of my elbow. As I walked with her, I couldn't stop the shit-eating grin from spreading across my face.

**BPOV**

The concert was, well, far too beyond perfect to describe. Not only had I been able to watch the show from the safety of the right wing, but it had been a completely perfect performance. Both Emmett and Jasper had fed off of the nearly blinding energy Edward gave off the entire show, and the crowd had responded with just as much enthusiasm.

Edward had dazzled me from the moment he stepped out on stage, god-like looks, an angelic voice, and a heart so loving and compassionate as he poured his soul out through his lyrics, I could feel the exaltation radiating from him in my toes. When he sat down for his acoustic solo, he had removed the leather jacket from his glorious body, leaving him in only a nearly transparent white t-shirt that accentuated his well-defined chest and the hypnotic ridges of his abdomen.

Mesmerized by his subtle moments and his Kegel-inducing voice, I watched as his eyes had fluttered closed as he played Iris, only opening them a few times to looks at me or to make eye contact with the crowd. As the crowd sang parts of the song as he directed, I saw a shadow of the crooked smile I knew and loved glinting under the spotlights.

After completely mesmerizing me during his acoustic solo, he had proceeded to make my panties spontaneously combust when he kicked back the piano bench during Dark Blue as he pounded into m—I mean, pounded the keys. Hunched over the piano, his hair fell across his forehead, sticking to the smooth skin there with sweat. Needless to say, I quite thoroughly enjoyed every moment of the concert.

Now, we were linked; my hand through the crook of his elbow as he escorted me back to the dressing room. Jasper and Alice had already scurried away to do God knows what, leaving me with Emmett and Edward. But somehow, Edward managed to get Emmett in his own dressing room, leaving us alone. When we reached the room with Edward's name on the door, he removed himself from me, but I only felt the loss for a moment because he took my hand within his as he opened the door and lead me in.

The room was moderately sized, with plush carpeting and a large, leather couch against one wall. The walls were painted a bright pink, and it seemed as if everything in the room was a different shade of pink. It almost hurt my eyes to look at for too long, so I opted to look at Edward who was rubbing his hand across the back of his neck, a sheepish smile on his face.

I raised and eyebrow in question.

"Er," He began. "I think the last person to use this dressing room was well, P!nk."

Before I could stop myself, I burst out laughing, and soon, he too was laughing hysterically, the musical sound filling the room. When we finally calmed down, we had collapsed on the couch, trying to catch our breath.

After a moment, I felt his arm wrap around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. I sighed happily and leaned against him, relishing at the feeling while I had it.

"Bella?" He murmured.

"Mmm?"

"Are you okay with going to L.A. with me? With us?" He asked me, slight trepidation in his voice.

Leaning up to look at him, I saw the look of the anxiety on his face. If he hadn't been so serious, I might have laughed. As if I would ever want to be away from him. I nearly told him just that, however, I knew that probably wouldn't soothe his worry.

"Edward," I whispered. He looked away. "Edward, look at me." I gently brought my hand to his face, gently cupping his cheek and turning his face to look at me. When our gazes finally locked, I spoke again. "I want to go with you. I don't know, but, I...I just feel...safe with you. I'm not scared when I'm with you, Edward. I need to go with you."

Slowly, a smile spread across his face as my words warmed him from the inside out. He squeezed me closer to him. "I need you to go with me too, love."

He leaned in and kissed my temple, pressing his forehead there for a moment before he took my hand and lead us out of the ostentatiously pink room and into the lobby. Emmett was already there, laughing boisterously at something he was looking at, and as we rounded the corner we discovered precisely what he found so amusing. Low and behold, there stood a very discombobulated Jasper and Alice, their clothes in a disarray just as their hair was. But the icing on the cake was the post-coitial bliss written all over the shit-eating grins on their faces.

Behind my amusement, I was flushing scarlet with the thought of what they had done together in God knows where. I quickly snuck a peak at Edward as a conversation started between the three brothers. My eyes went to our entwined hands and worked their way up his muscled forearms that had pounded the keys earlier and followed the same line to his ridged biceps and across to the silhouette of his chest and abdomen. Perhaps I studied the way his jeans rode low on his hips, exposing the "v" his pelvis made or the way the denim fabric clung perfectly to his wonderful ass to notice Edward's fiery gaze on me.

Timidly, I looked up, expecting to meet a disapproving stare.

I was wrong.

So terribly wrong. His eyes were roaming my body the same way mine had just been roaming his. My skin overheated immediately, and instead of feeling the need to brace myself for the pain that would surely course through my body. Instead, I shivered in pleasure under the intensity of his eyes, my lips parting as I let out a shaky breath. His eyes shot to my lips, studying them briefly before his gaze slowly met mine.

I gasped at what I saw. The emerald orbs that had hypnotized me just moments earlier were now a nearly black forest green, shining with what looked like desire, something that I was sure was shining in my own eyes.

No. He couldn't want me the same I wanted him. He only wanted to keep me safe. We had loved each other. His feelings for me would never be more than platonic.

Unlike me. I would love him for the rest of my life.

With a sigh, I broke our gaze, breaking the spell. I was relieved to find that Emmett had yet to stop teasing Jasper and Alice, however as my eyes fell on Alice, she grinned wickedly and winked at me, letting me know she has seen our display and that we would be talking about it later.

I blushed and nodded slightly, letting her know that I had heard her.

"Are you ready to go?" Edward asked gently.

I smiled up at him and nodded. He smiled softly back at me and led me to the tour bus that was taking us to the airport. Just as I was about to settle myself alongside Edward in the bus, Alice grabbed my hand and tugged me along with her into the only enclosed area there. I sent Edward one pleading look, but all he, Jasper and Emmett could do was give me a sympathetic look, knowing that Alice was a force to be reckoned with. However, just before the door to the bedroom, if one could call it that, swung closed, I saw Edward mouth, "I'm right here."

My heart swelled and I smiled at him before the door closed, effectively cutting him off from me.

"Okay, Swan." Alice said, pulling us on to the bed. "You got some serious 'splainin' to do." She teasingly gave me a pointed stare.

I rolled my eyes at her and fidgeted a little, twiddling my thumbs together for a moment.

"Bella." Alice said, all traces of playfulness gone. "You can trust me. I won't tell anyone. I just," She cut herself off before she began again. "I just want to be able to help you, Bells. You're my best friend, and ever since..." She trailed off. "I've felt so helpless..."

Tears welled in my eyes, deeply touched by my sincerity. Before I could process what I was doing, I pulled Alice into an emotional hug. She held me tightly and sniffled into my shoulder. When we both pulled away, Alice looked at me again and smiled tentatively.

"Okay, so tell me how you feel about Edward." She said smiling, trying to distract both of us from reliving that horrible night.

I blushed violently. "Well, uh, I er..."

"He's turning you into a pile of incoherent mush, babe." Alice laughed musically.

I nodded sheepishly. "It's true. And I used to think I had such an extensive vocabulary." I mumbled to myself.

Alice giggled again. "It happens with me and Jasper too, you know. We reduce each other to piles of incoherent mush, albeit, in somewhat different ways..." She waggled her manicured eyebrows suggestively.

I giggled through the flush that was rising on my cheeks, wondering if that would ever be possible for Edward and I. My cheeks turned even redder at the thought.

"Oh, honey. You want him so badly." Alice stated, taking one look at my face.

I nodded mutely. "Guilty. Oh so very guilty."

She laughed again and nodded in understanding. "He wants you, too, you know." She told me, a knowing look on her face.

My eyes widened slightly at the thought. I quickly composed myself and shrugged it off. "Oh yeah. I know he wants me." I murmured sarcastically, secretly hoping she would correct me.

"I'm serious, Bella!" Alice exclaimed with a frustrated huff. "I can see it in the way he looks at you."

I started to protest, but she kept going. "You and I both saw the look on his face when he caught you checking him out!" She nearly shouted.

"Good God, Alice!" I whisper-yelled. "Inside voices!" I sighed, knowing he had probably heard her last statement and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration.

Suddenly, Alice let out a very unladylike guffaw, something that I had never heard her do before. I looked up, wide-eyed, wondering what had made her laugh like that.

"What?" I asked confused, my eyebrows pulling together as I ran a hand through the ends of my hair.

This made her laugh even louder. "What, Alice?" I almost yelled trying to get her attention.

She wiped the tears she had shed from her laughter from her cheeks and tried to speak through her giggles. "Nothing. You…with the pinching your nose…and the running your fingers through your hair…" Her laughter had died down and I waited for her to finish her statement, a pointed look on my face that clearly said "So?"

Alice laughed again. "Don't you see, Bella? You're acting just like Edward!"

My brow furrowed again as I tried to sort through her words. "Alice, I've been doing those things for years. How could I be acting like Edward?"

"Bella, those are his mannerisms." She began. "You picked them up all those years ago, and you still do them." She chuckled again. "I guess Edward made quite an impression on you."

I smiled wistfully, knowing all that she had said was true. "Of course he did. I loved him. I still love him." I whispered.

"What are you afraid of, Bella?" Alice whispered back, her voice filled with seriousness.

"I'm afraid he won't want me anymore…I'm not…me anymore. Not since…" I trailed off, a tear streaming down my cheek.

I felt Alice's tiny frame wrap around mine. "Tell me, Bella. Please…" She whispered.

I held onto her for a moment, and then released her with a deep breath. She looked at me intently. With another deep breath, I told her everything.

* * *

"Bella," A distant voice echoed around me as I was gently shaken.

I felt my eyebrows furrow, trying to ignore the noise and the vibration, but it was insistent.

"Bella," The decidedly masculine voice called again. "We're getting ready to board the plane, sweetheart. Wake up…"

My eyes fluttered open and I was pleasantly surprised to find myself leaning on Edward's shoulder, his arm wrapped snugly around my waist. I burrowed further into his side. "Mmmph," I grumbled. He chuckled quietly beside me.

"You can sleep more on the plane, love. It's a long flight." He murmured softly to me, rubbing his hand up and down my arm.

Immediately, I felt myself being lifted up, but I barely registered it, all I noticed was the warm, strong body I curled up against and the gentle caress of fingertips on my face as I drifted back into unconsciousness.

"Wake up, Bella." Edward murmured, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

"Hi." I replied, giving him a sleepy smile.

"You've been asleep for a while. We're landing." He said and I nodded. I finally looked up at his expression, and noticed it was troubled, as if he were trying to solve a difficult math problem in his head.

"Edward?" I asked tentatively. He didn't look at me.

"Edward? What's wrong?" I asked, reaching up to stroke his cheek.

He turned his face away from me. "Bella," He began.

"Yes, Edward?" I swallowed down the trepidation that rose in my throat.

"While you were asleep, I had time to think." He said flatly, his eyes on the back of the seat in front of us.

"And what did you discover?" I asked tentatively.

"I discovered that I don't want you."

My heart stopped. "What?"

He finally turned to face me, his eyes cold and dark. "I don't want you. You're just…too damaged for me. And I can't have you around me to ruin my image by having any kind of relationship with me after you're better. If that happens, which it won't. Jacob was probably doing me a favor by doing whatever he did to you. The press thinks I'm a hero that saved someone from being raped. I have no idea what happened to you, Bella, and quite frankly I don't care. I never really loved you, even back in high school; all I wanted you for was sex. And that didn't happen. So, here we are. We've come full circle. Once we get off the plane, I'll leave you again just like I did last time." He turned away from me again.

I didn't believe what I was hearing. My heart had been violently ripped from my chest, and stepped on repeatedly with steel cleats, until I was cut too deeply to be stitched.

"You don't...you don't want me?" I asked, tears streaming freely down my face.

"No one will ever want you." A very different voice told me, gravelly and deep, cruel and menacing.

He turned to face me, but instead of the emerald eyes, and the bronze hair and the pale skin I had loved, I was met with tanned skin, dark, sinister brown eyes, and raven hair. "You're mine." He snarled.

I let out a scream and jolted upright, Jacob's face gone from my vision, but his voice still resonating in my mind.

"Bella, Bella," I heard a velvety voice whisper as I was being pulled against something solid. I tried to protest, whimpering as I struggled, my eyes flooding with salty tears.

"Bella, love. Oh, Bella," I felt my hair being stroked, the top of my head being kissed. "Sweetheart, please...come back to me...it was just a dream. I'm here, love. Shh..." Edward murmured, gently rocking me back and forth to soothe my tremulous, sobbing body. "Nothing's going to hurt you. I'm here. It's okay...it was just a dream..."

I felt myself climbing from hysteria, slowly becoming limp in his arms. My violent sobs at reduced to sniffles as he comforted me. Never had I felt so safe.

"Thank you," I barely whispered, but I knew he had heard it.

"Don't mention it, love." He whispered in reply, his hand still running up and down my spine gently. He began to hum softly in my ear, his angelic voice beckoning me back into unconsciousness, but I fought it off. I didn't want to go back to where he could hurt me.

"Stop, Edward. Please…if you keep humming, I'll go back to sleep—and I, I just don't want to go back there anymore. I'm scared," I whimpered.

He immediately stopped humming, but continued to rock us back and forth in his seat.

"Sir?" I heard a female voice call from behind us. I didn't bother to look up, assuming it was flight attendant. "Is your wife okay?"

Before I could be startled by her assumption, Edward answered coolly. "Yes, my soon-to-be wife will be fine, thank you. However, would it be possible to get a blanket, a pillow and possibly a Coke for her? Her blood sugar is probably low."

"Of course, sir. I'll be right back." The attendant answered.

I pulled back to look at Edward's face, shocked by the conversation the two had just had. Edward looked anxious as I stared at him, jaw agape.

"Bella?" He asked me.

"You—you just…and she thought—" I stuttered.

He chuckled softly and leaned in to kiss my forehead tenderly. "Yes, she thought we were married. Yes, I corrected her and told her you were my fiancée."

He answered so casually, I was beginning to think that he really didn't realize what he had just said. My over-reactive, hopeless romantic, girly mind was already wishing I had a notebook to doodle "Isabella Marie Cullen" all over the front. I had to keep reminding myself it didn't mean the same thing to him as it did to me.

I chuckled nervously. "Heh. Yeah, so I heard."

His expression changed quickly. "Shit, that didn't offend you or anything, did it?" He asked frantically.

"What? No! Of course it didn't offend me!" I amended quickly, mentally chastising myself for making him think that. "It just…surprised me, that's all."

He cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows pulling together for a moment. "Why?"

"Huh?" Was my brilliant reply. _Nice, Bella. You have a Dartmouth Creative Writing education and the best you can come up with is "huh?"_

"Why did it surprise you so much that she assumed you were my wife?" He clarified.

I blushed deeply, liking the way his statement sounded much more than I should. "Well, uh—"

He tilted my chin up and searched my eyes. "What I wouldn't give to read your mind…" He mused. My lips parted. It was official. I was dazzled.

"Well, I was thinking how…" I began in a slight daze. He urged me to continue. "I was thinking how could she possibly mistake me for your wife. I mean, look at you…then look at me…" I mumbled, trailing off, knowing my connotation was clear.

"I am looking at you, Bella." He murmured with conviction. "And you know what? I was thinking the same thing. How could she mistake me for being with you. I mean, look at you…and then look at me…" He repeated the same words, but the meaning was completely different from when I said them. My eyes started to pool with tears once again. This wasn't happening. This was just like my dream…he was going to reject me. He immediately realized what he had sounded like.

He gently cupped my face in his hands, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. "Look at you. You're beautiful, and kind and smart. You're funny, and loving and compassionate. You're wonderful, and charming, and disarming in the best possible of ways. You're confusing…you make me want to delve into your mind and see what makes you tick. I'm fascinated. I'm enraptured. And look at me. I'm troubled and cynical and dark. I'm lonely and depressed so much of the time, much less lately, I must say. I'm cowardly and selfish and vile. How could she think someone such as I was with someone so good? So pure?"

For the umpteenth time in the period I had known Edward, I was speechless.

"You...you really think that?" I asked quietly.

He chuckled quietly. "Of course I do." He smoothed my hair back out of my face tenderly.

"But those things you said about yourself, Edward. They're not true. You're not selfish or cowardly or vile. You're completely unselfish, gentlemanly and the bravest person I've ever met. And Edward?" I lowered my voice. "I'm just as cynical and depressed as you are a lot of the time."

**EPOV **

Before I could respond, the flight attendant returned with the things I asked for. Bella had scared the shit out of me when she had bolted out of her seat twenty minutes ago, tears streaming down her face and her entire body quivering. I knew she must have been dreaming about him. I nearly growled at the thought. Luckily, though, I had been able to calm her down. And then I had to go and make that speech, which practically spelled out "I love you more than life itself and love having you referred to as my wife." Too heavy, Edward. Keep it light. I had thought.

"Here you go, sir." The flight attendant said with a smile, and I hoped to God she didn't recognize me. She was getting ready to leave, but she stopped and looked at me again, recognition flashing in her eyes. Shit. "Sir? I'm sorry, but are you Edward Cullen?"

I sighed and grimaced slight before I plastered my signature "panty-dropping smile", as my agent had dubbed it, on my face. "Guilty as charged."

The girl's eyes lit up immediately. "Oh my gosh! Are you serious? I'm a huge fan of your music!" She squealed.

I smiled ruefully at Bella, taking in her understanding expression, then turned my crooked smile towards the eager woman. "Well, it's always nice to hear from fans."

She blushed like a school girl, twirling the ends of her hair. I stifled the urge to roll my eyes. "Yeah...can I, uh, get your autograph?"

I retrieved a pad from the seat in front of me and a pen from my bag. "Of course. Who should I make it out to?"

"Jessica Stanley." She giggled.

I smiled at her and wrote out her autograph, signing it quickly before presenting it to her. "Here you go, Jessica." She giggled again. "And thank you for helping my fiancée and I."

God, I really liked the sound of that more than I should. I prayed that she wouldn't call my bluff. She beamed. "My pleasure. And congratulations on your engagement! Though, I thought you were still dating that Tanya chick."

Shit. Shit. Shit. She knew her stuff. "Tanya and I broke up shortly after I met Bella. We've beeninseparable ever since." I smiled lovingly at Bella, pretending to me the doting husband, thought it didn't take any pretending.

Jessica still looked kind of skeptical, so I decided to seal the deal, pleading with my eyes. "Honey," I started, pretending Jessica wasn't watching, but knowing very well she was. "There's only a little while longer before we arrive in L.A. Do you think you'll feel up to...trying out the hotel suite before we explore the town?" I tried my best to look coy as I craned my neck down and began to kiss her neck

God, she smelled fantastic.

"Mmm..." Bella whimpered just loudly enought for Jessica to hear us. "I think I'll definitely be up to trying out the suite. We have to make sure the bed is sturdy..." She murmured in my ear, once again just within ear-shot of where Jessica could hear. She ran her fingertips down my chest, the vibrations going straight to my hard-on. How dud she know exactly what to do to turn me on so quickly?

From my peripheral vision, I saw Jessica walk out of sight, clearly giving us privacy. I pulled away once she was gone, resting my forehead against hers for a moment before turning away.

"You were brilliant, Bella." I smiled proudly at her.

She blushed scarlet, suddenly registering what we had just done. "Um, yeah...so were you, Edward."

I smiled at her again and kissed her cheek before wrapping my arms around her again. "Is this okay?" I murmured.

"Yes, Edward. More than okay," She snuggled further into my body.

My heart swelled. "We're about a half hour away from landing, Bella love. Do you want to go back to sleep?"

When her expression became absolutely terrified, I knew my answer. "Okay, no sleeping." I chuckled quietly and became serious again as I realized her pain. "That dream really did a number on you, didn't it?" I searched her deep, chocolate brown eyes.

Suddenly, she closed her eyes tightly and buried herself further into my body.

"You have no idea," She whispered.

My arms wrapped tighter around her, keeping her safe from the world. "Do you want to talk about it, love?"

Her response was silence. "Will you talk to me about it when you're ready?" I desperately hoped she would. But why would she entrust me with that kind of information?

She paused a moment, and I immediately regretted my thoughtlessness. Of course she wouldn't tell me! She hates me for leaving her! I felt her nod. I froze for a moment in disbelief before I exhaled.

"Thank you so much, love." I whispered sincerely, kissing the top of her head.

"Attention, Delta flyers. This is your captain speaking. We are now arriving at Los Angeles International Airport. It is five-thirty A.M and already a balmy eight-seven degrees. Please be safe in your travels and as always, thank you for flying Delta."

I knew we still had a little while before we landed and could exist the cabin. Plenty of time to talk with Bella.

"Okay," I said, trying to lighten the mood. "Twenty questions." I suggested with a smile.

She laughed. It sounded like a bell chiming. "Edward, you already know everything about me."

"Ah, but my dear, that's where you are wrong." I told her with a crooked smile. "I have plenty of questions I can ask you, but only you want to, of course." I made sure he knew she had a choice.

She smiled at me. "Okay. Ten questions."

I beamed, thrilled she was playing along. "Okay...hmm...what is your favorite book?"

She laughed. "You know that, Edward. It's Wuthering Heights."

I smiled. She hadn't changed. "I was just making sure. I didn't know if you had read a new favorite by now."

"Never." She grinned. "Next question."

"What is your favorite episode of Spongebob Squarepants?" I asked, my face completely serious.

She burst out into laughter, and I couldn't hold my own laughter within me any longer. "Band Geeks." She managed through her chuckles.

"Ah, one of the classics." I said reminiscently. She slapped my bicep playfully.

"We're not that old, Edward." She teased.

"This is true." I smiled. "Okay, favorite band?" I dared, desperately hoping it was mine.

She responded coolly. "I really like Jimmy Eat World. I have almost everyone of their songs on my iPod."

My heart deflated at her answer, but I nodded, acknowledging her answer, proceeding to move on to the next question. "Edward." She said, and I looked up.

"Yes?" I asked.

She giggled quietly. "Why would I be the webmaster of the fan site of another band besides my favorite? You should know my favorite band is yours. I have every single one of your songs on my iPod."

My heart swelled yet again and I ducked my head bashfully. "Thanks."

Before she could respond I asked her my next question. "Why did you decide to be the webmaster of our biggest fan base?"

She blushed deeply. "I just, didn't like the way things were being handled, that's all. So, I took over."

"How?" I asked fascinated.

"I told the current webmaster that I had dated Edward Cullen in high school before he was famous, and sent her a picture of us for proof, then stated that I thought I would be able to do a better job; that I could update and post things more frequently. So, she willingly gave me the position." She stated in a very business-like manner.

I laughed heartily. "Just like that? She just gave it to you?" I shook my head, completely in awe of this woman.

She smiled and nodded simply. "Yes, she did. By the way, that counted as a question. So, you have four left."

"Damn." I swore playfully, then pretended to rub my chin thoughtfully as I pondered my next question. I snapped my fingers. "I got it. What is your favorite Starbucks order?"

She laughed. "Tie between Shaken Iced Tea Lemonade with Passion Fruit Tea, or a Grande extra hot soy with extra foam, split shot with a half squirt of sugar-free vanilla, and a half squirt of sugar-free cinnamon, a half packet of Splenda, in a Venti cup with a lot of whipped cream with caramel and chocolate sauce drizzled on top."

She finished and I was left in a state of shock. "How the hell do you remember that?"

She giggled. "I order it enough to know. My friend Angela originally told me to order it to piss off the barista, but when I had it, it was just so good, I knew I had to have it again. I've been getting the same order in the winter ever since. And that was your seventh question. You have two more."

"Damn it! You're crafty!" I exclaimed teasingly.

She laughed again, waiting for my next question.

"One place you'd like to go most?" I asked.

"New Zealand." She answered without hesitation. "Ever since I saw Fellowship of the Ring, I've wanted to go there. It just looks so beautiful." She looked dazed for a moment.

"I'll take you there one day." I blurted without thinking.

Her eyes widened. "What did you say?"

Damn it, damn it, damn it. Me and my huge mouth. "We'll go one day. I'm sure we'll have a concert there at some point." Nice recovery.

She seemed appeased. "I would love that." She smiled brightly.

"Great." I replied happily.

"You still have one more question, you know." She said smiling.

"You're right, I do. Hmm...how do you like Dartmouth?"

Something flashed across her face. "Oh my God! Dartmouth! I'm skipping my entire year without notice! Shit!" She exclaimed.

"Shhh, it's okay, Bella. Everything has been worked out by Alice and myself. It's surprising how much influence you have over a university that you donate money to." I had donated hundreds of thousands of dollars as soon as I found out that's where she was attending. Of course, I wouldn't tell her that. She'd have a restraining order placed on me. "So, you will now be taking all of your classes online while you are on tour with us, and then when the tours are over, you can return to Dartmouth to finish the term. You'll watch lectures online and submit your papers to your professors via email. At that point we'll probably be on our typical five or six month break to write more songs for another album."

She looked at me in shock. "W-what? You set up all of my classes online?"

My expression immediately went repentant. I should have asked her first! Fuck! What if that's not what she wants! "Oh God, I'm so sorry, Bella! I just assumed that that would be okay with you. If it's not, I'm sure we can set up something different that you want. I'll fix it, I promise!" I rushed out.

"Edward!" She declared, pulling me from my frantic rant. "Believe me, it's more than okay. I'm thrilled to be able to take classes online, so thank you. For everything." She said with true sincerity.

"You deserve the best, Bella. Don't let anyone tell you any differently." I replied with conviction, sighing with relief.

We talked a little more about college at Dartmouth. Since I was never able to experience college life, I absorbed every detail she shared with me, fascinated by her tales of her roommates antics. All too soon, the plane landed at the airport and it was time for us to make our way back to the hotel.

When the limo arrived for us and Andrew, our driver, ushered my brothers, Alice, Bella and myself into it without causing much of a disturbance, however, unfortunately, several people spotted us and tried taking pictures of us before we left. We managed to avoid most of the paparazzi as we drove off to the Ritz Carlton, where we all would be staying for the duration of our time in L.A.

The limo pulled up to the curb and Bella's mouth fell open. "The Ritz Carlton? Wow..." She gasped.

"Only the best, remember?" I whispered to her before kissing her cheek and grabbing her hand to climb out of the car. Unlike at the airport, the paparazzi had swarmed the hotel anticipating our arrival. Cameras flashed as I wrapped an arm around Bella's waist, leading her hastily into the hotel lobby, where the patrons weren't nearly as inconsiderate.

"Welcome back, Mr. Cullen." All three of us nodded our heads in reply. "Your rooms are already set up on the top floor as you requested. Three suites."

"Thank you, Alec." I replied, giving him a warm smile.

"You are most welcome, Mr. Cullen. Oh, and Ms. Brandon, lovely to see you again." Alice smiled and thanked him. Alec turned to Bella.

"And who have we here? A new edition to the Cullen family?" Alec appraised Bella quietly, and I wrapped an arm around her waist, however it was Emmett that spoke up.

"Bella has always been, and better always will be, a member of our family, she's just returning home, is all." Emmett grinned at Bella, winking at her in a brotherly way. I felt a surge of gratitude towards my older brother.

Alec seemed appeased. "Well, welcome Ms. Bella. Any friend of the Cullen's is most certainly a friend of mine and of the Ritz Carlton."

_She's more than just a friend!_ I wanted to scream.

"Thank you, Alec." Bella said, a shy smile gracing her beautiful face.

"Certainly, Ms. Bella." Alec said before handing us our keys.

All of us made our way up to the suites, Alice and Jasper in one, Rosalie, who was arriving in L.A. from Seattle later tonight, and Emmett in another, and Bella and I in the last one. I made sure there was both a bed and a couch in the suite that I could sleep on, as well as plenty of room for Bella to be on her own if she needed the space. It was almost seven-thirty in the morning and we had yet to eat anything for breakfast. As soon as we got into the room, I ordered some breakfast for us.

"Bella?" I called, knowing she was probably exploring the suite. "I'm going to order some breakfast for you. Anything you want in particular?"

"Umm…do they have french toast?" She called back before venturing back into the main room.

I smiled. "I'm sure the do. I'll order it for you."

I called the kitchen for the meal then lay down on the couch in the living room area while Bella was in the bedroom. Leaning my head back against the couch, I turned my face to the side and closed my eyes in an attempt to get some sleep. I had been so busy relishing in the feeling of Bella in my arms I hadn't been able to fall asleep. I yawned widely and felt myself drifting off to sleep.

"DUDE WAKE UP!" Someone yelled. Suddenly, I felt myself falling off of my perch and landing with a thud onto the floor.

"What the hell?" I yelled, completely startled. My eyes shot open and I ran a hand over my face to wipe the sleep from my expression.

"Look at this, dude." Jasper said, throwing a national newspaper in my face. I slowly registered their expressions. Anxious. Oh, God. What had happened? Was Bella alright? "Entertainment section."

Confused, I flipped to the Entertainment section only to find a photo of me carrying Bella bridal style in the airport in D.C., her face snuggled into my chest and my expression joyful as I carried her on the plane. My face turned pale as I read the short article.

_Sexy rock God, Edward Cullen, was seen late last night after his concert at the Verizon Center in Washington D.C. in the Ronald Reagan International Airport cuddling with an unknown, brunette beauty. Since their concert in New York on Tuesday night, Edward has been seen on numerous occasions with the same brunette. "I was on their plane," An inside source tells us. "I overheard Edward tell the stewardess that they were engaged." Is this the same Edward Cullen that was tied closely with America's Next Top Model Winner, Tanya Denali only a few months back? The same question riddles every fan of the globally acclaimed Cullen Brother's Band. Who is this girl, and what has she done to notorious recluse, and musical genius, Edward Cullen?_

"Holy shit." I murmured.

"We know." They said simultaneously, something, under less serious circumstances, I would have laughed at.

"What am I going to do?" I asked them. "I don't want Bella to be upset by this, guys."

"She won't be upset." Jasper reassured me, giving me his hand to pull me up. "Trust me."

I grasped it and stood up. "I don't know, Jazz…" I trailed off, frowning in anxiety.

"Dude, Jazz is right. Bella knew about the pap when she got into this, and she still chose to come with us. It's okay. She'll understand." Emmett said, clapping a hand on my shoulder.

"I hope so." I told them.

"Besides, you'll have a chance to answer a bunch of questions when you go on Ellen today."

Shit! "Shit! I completely forgot about that!" I exclaimed.

Jasper placed his hands on my shoulders. "Whoa, whoa, easy, man. It's all good. It's only about eleven o'clock. We let you get some more sleep because we knew you didn't sleep any on the plane. You don' t have to be at the studio until two o'clock."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God. Wait, where's Bella?" I asked, my eyes darting anxiously around the room.

Emmett laughed. "Dude, you are completely in love with her, aren't you?"

My eyes widened, but I nodded slowly, not ashamed to admit it. "I love her more than life itself."

Emmett let out a low whistle. "That much, huh?"

I nodded simply.

"Well, it's a good thing she loves you too. Because if she didn't, that'd be a complete bummer." Emmett finished. I gaped at him in shock.

"Wait, you think she loves me?" I asked incredulously.

Both Emmett and Jasper laughed loudly. "Of course we do, and if your head wasn't so far up your own ass, you might be able to see that too."

* * *

**PLEASE READ!**

**So there really is no excuse for me keeping this chapter so long...RL just started kicking my ass and I didn't have the inspiration to write...those of you that are authors hopefully understand that...but I ended up writing this super long chapter in about two sittings because I was inspired. And I already have almost the entire next chapter outlined...so hopefully that's good news for those of you that are still reading haha. **

**Thanks to my awesome beta Paige for getting this back to me so quickly _(Who, by the by, has a birthday present one-shot you should read and review about shirtless Stable Boyward of the 1800s. its awesome if I do say so myself)_, and to the folks that reviewed my last chapter: Lady Dragona, RoSaDbAdAsSgUaRdAiNs, Adrienne334 (whose story I'm betaing :)), JennsEmeralds, TheRainDropsAreMyMusic, tigger5600, XxKayla BlackxX, Jalesia, and k-Cullen13. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. :) **

**Story Pimpage: So this is something new, I'm gonna do...I'll tell you about some stories I loved and a brief summary of what they're about. So here goes :) (All of these are in my Favorites :)) **

**Facebook Friends by GreenPuma: If you are a music freak like me, then you'll love this story. It's and awesomely cliche, high school fluff story about Edward, Mr. Popular...and Bella, the girl he's never really paid attention to until something happened on Facebook. It's awesome, trust me. I loved all the music references.**

**The Weight of Words by georgygirl: If you love love love Lit (like me!) you'll love this...Edward's a TA in Bella's Shakespeare class in university. He has a dark past that causes him to keep his distance...but he soon discovers that he will stop at NOTHING to be with Bella...kinda angsty...but not really...just rather dramatic at points. Lots of fluff though. :)**

**Legendary by WhatsMyNomDePlume: SEXY SEXY SEXY. WMNDP is a BRILLIANT author that is able to make something so trivial...SO SO SO sexy...go read it if you like you some mysterious, sexy, slightly Darkward. :) Mmmmmmm...no angst...just drama...and a lot of sexiness without being a porno. Hahaha. **

**Okay...last one for now (because believe me...I HAVE A TON MORE...just look at my favorites...you won't be disappointed): Tides by lambcullen: Fluff, fluff, fluff. Cute, adorable, AWWWWW story with some drama sprinkled it...very original plot...but nothing wild or crazy...very well written...just all around spine-tinglingly cute and awesome. **

**Send me stories that you think I should read and I DEFINITELY will. :) Keep in mind...I hate really really really angsty stories...with drinking and alcohol abuse and abusive parents and dom/sub themes and all that shit. Read my updated profile for my pickyness about stories like that with the dom/sub, threesome crap. **

**Thanks a bunch! Songs are Iris (Acoustic) by the Goo Goo Dolls and Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin. (P.S. I'm probably going to strip down my profile and get rid of the Youtube links...and then at the end...I'll make a playlist of all of the songs. Capiche? :))**

**Tally:**

**Jalesia: 2**

**Lady Dragona: 2**

**tigger5600: 2**

**XxKayla BlackXX: 2**

**Trivia Question (Slightly harder :)) **

**How old is Carlisle Cullen? **

**Jessica :)**


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